Incorrect Star Wars Quotes - Blog Posts

The Force, making the Skywalker family: whoops. Poured in too much Family BS™️

The Force: uhh

The Force: here I’ll make y’all a handler that’ll fix all my problems

The Force: *makes Obi-Wan Kenobi*

Padawan!Reader: Confession

Reader: *does fingerguns at Ahsoka*

Ahsoka: *does fingerguns back*

Reader: Did- Did you just say you like me too?

Ahsoka, blushing slightly: yes...

Obi-Wan:

Also Obi-Wan: What-

Anakin, proud: This is how the younger generation confess their feelings for each other

Obi-Wan: you're clearly joking-

Reader and Ahsoka: *violently making out*

Drunk Fives singing to himself: Dancing queen...dynamite with a laser beam

Echo with his face in his hands: N-no...No that’s not-

Sober Hardcase: ONLY SEVENTEEN!!!

fives: *excited* hardcase, jesse & I have a joke for you

hardcase: i’m ready

fives: the council finally found out who’s been committing crimes, but it was a tough case to crack

jesse: *face palms*

hardcase: i don’t get it

jesse: HARDcase to crack, fives, we went over this A HUNDRED TIMES

tech: what happened to your homework??

omega: well…

tech: if you say that batcher ate it i will ground you

omega: it might sound crazy what i’m about to say…

crosshair: i need a hand with-

echo: *trying not to laugh*

crosshair: if you say what i think-

echo: you can borrow mine

crosshair: …

echo: …

crosshair: *sighs* i hate you

echo telling dad jokes >>

tech: *saying a random fact*

echo: *holding in laugh* TECHnically-

everyone: *face palms*

echo: CMON THAT ONE WAS GOOD

the batch: *playing hide & seek*

omega: …3,2,1 okay here I- wrecker??

wrecker: *standing behind a tree silently*

crosshair: *sighs* she can see you

wrecker: NO SHE CANT

din & bo katan: *intense arguing and stare offs*

axe: *whispers* 10 credits says they’ll kiss

koska: we shouldn’t bet on that, that’s wrong

axe: …

koska: …

axe: …

koska: *whispers* 20 credits

bo katan: din, there’s 20 stormtroopers, you’ll never make it

din: …

bo katan: don’t say it

ahsoka: don’t say it

greef: don’t say it

the armorer: don’t say it

paz(rip): don’t say it

din: I like those odds

*exasperated sigh from everyone*

din to bo katan season 2

din: you fake mandalorian I hate you

season 3

din: I will protect you with my life slay queen marry me

ahsoka: I cannot train him

din: what? why not?

din, in his mind: thank God

Din: he’s just a bounty idc I need money

Din, 2 days later: what did you just say about my son?

Din: I can bring you in warm, or I can bring you in cold

Me: *blushes* so enemies to lovers?

Quinlan: I’VE FOUND HER! *Force pushes Obi-Wan’s bedroom door open*

Obi-Wan: *jumps out of bed, lightsaber in hand, recognizes Quinlan* Yes, Quinlan, please barge into my quarters. I wasn’t sleeping.

Quinlan: THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU OBI! I AM HAVING A CRISIS.

Obi-Wan: *falls back on bed* What crisis?

Quinlan: *collapses beside him* MY NEMESIS, MY TRUEST ENEMY!

Obi-Wan: …Madame Nu?

Quinlan: What, no. Jocasta has been regulated to third under MY RIVAL and your skeevy grandmaster.

Quinlan: I’ve found THE COMPETITOR FOR THE FAIR FOX’S HEART. The one who kept slipping in with those cookies and scented thank you notes and who bribed the Guardlings.

Obi-Wan: I know I am going to regret this. But who?

Quinlan: Riyo Chuchi.

Obi-Wan: The senator from Pantora?

Quinlan: Obviously. A truly manipulative schemer. Despicable. Clever. Ruthless.

Obi-Wan: Are you sure it’s the same person? Riyo Chuchi is basically a sentient gummybear.

Quinlan: A gummybear soaked in 100% Pantoran vodka maybe. I thought I was unlucky Obi-Wan. She’s been sabotaging me for weeks and I didn’t even realize it was intentional. I almost respect it.

Obi-Wan: ….and what does that have to do with me?

Quinlan: As the biggest slut I know-

Obi-Wan: Retired.

Quinlan: As the biggest retired slut I know, I need your help seducing a man before that alcoholic gummybear wins.

Obi-Wan: If I help you will not break into my apartment for three months.

Quinlan: One.

Obi-Wan: Two.

Quinlan: One and a half.

Obi-Wan: Deal.

Quinlan: Operation Bag A Fox is a go.

Clones rights don't matter

Fives fucked your wife too, huh?

Fives: how dead does someone have to be before its considered a murder?

Echo: if they are dead dead, it's murder. If they are kinda dead, it's attempted murder. If they aren't dead, you failed.

Rex: *backing out of the room* nopenopenopenopenope

Hello Sir! Your armor is iconic. We all recognize and love the Arc trooper gear. It looks rather complicated though. How long does it take to put on?

Uhm... Well a lot quicker now, I have gotten used to it. I haven't had to do timed drills in a long time, but about... hmm... two minutes?

We used to have to do emergency drills to get suited up and ready for combat in the fastest time possible. Not my favourite part of training.

Anakin: I have a plan!

Feemor: No, we're not going to explode anything.

Anakin: I don't have a plan.

Xanatos: Well, I do have one.

Feemor: No, we're not going to kill people.

Xanatos: Man, you have to consider it!

Obi-Wan: *raises his hand*

Feemor: Sure, tell us, dear. We're listening.

Anakin and Xanatos: Injustice!

So in the baby-wan AU (hilariously, it is tagged that, but that post has gotten too big to keep reblogging lmao) where Obi-Wan travels back to a 7 year old body with all the PTSD, the first time Jaster (his new Mando’buir) mentions that a little Mando’Jetii should have armor, Obi-Wan mentions that he wants bracers (they’ll have to be plated so he can flex his wrists) made of cortosis metal, and Fay agrees very sagely, informing the very confused Mandalorians that Jedi can’t wear much (if any) beskar because it messes with their connection to the force, but cotorsis is a metal that deactivates lightsabers on contact.

Jaster, who now knows that his newest son cannot use beskar and will never train with a lightsaber, decides then and there to hunt down enough cortosis for bracers and greaves and a small midsection wrap (meaning not quite plates, so much as criss crossing wraps of metal that’ll curve around his midsection with the hope that the cortosis would stop a saber and deactivate it in time not to be cut) and maybe a beskad too, so he can still have a weapon himself after a saber has been deactivated.

This unfortunately means that he will not be sparring against other Jedi unless they trade their sabers for a beskad, but a few of his friends will happily comply with that to get him some solid practice.

They also have a small flashback when Jaster asks why Obi doesn’t want a helmet and will refuse one if offered. Mainly, a flashback where he stutteringly tries to explain the mask Ventress put on him and what it did and why it was scary and that he was like that for over a month while people thought he was dead and she hurt his friend and- yeah. Jaster gets his first taste of Jedi PTSD and some of the most fucked up shit you can do to a living creature both in one go. He is horrified and now Obi-Wan is being plied with kisses and snacks by many verd’e.

Jango immediately teaches his baby brother his favorite bad words. He’s only 14 so he knows ALL the best words that’ll have Jaster yelling at them, but Jango is an adult now so Jaster isn’t as stern when telling him not to say them, which takes ALL the fun outta it, so he has to make sure the baby knows to tell Jaster all the cool new words he’s learned. It’s important.

While they’re on Mandalore, Obi-Wan gets fitted for his first armor (which are made of leather for extra protection before he’s old enough for metals) and Fay gently rebuffs the need for weaponry (the nice female Mandalorians fawn over her thinking she’s young till they realize she’s over 1200 at least and met Tarre a few times lmao, Fay is living for pretty woman fawning over her tho) but eventually accepts a baton of cortosis with the understanding that force suppressants exist and if she was suppressed, she still wants a way to turn off a saber. They’re a little shocked when she tells them she can turn off someone’s saber mid-battle with just the force, which shocks them because they thought Jedi had ways to keep that from happening. They do, she’s just stronger than that.

Fay keeps giggling when she tells the council they finally have another Mandalorian Jedi in the order again. They sigh really loud at that and tell her she better figure out their political situation so they can help get rid of the terrorists they said they had a group of now, so they can make the planet safer for Obi-Wan and any other kiddos that end up there. This, of course, is how Agricorps end up involved as they should, lmao.

Rex: goddammit, you two! What di-

Echo: *sprays him with the spray bottle*

Rex: *extremely confused*

Echo: *completely straight faced* no yelling at the children.

Fives & Hardcase: *scared*

Rex: I swear, if you spra-

Echo: *sprays him again* and no threatening the ARC troopers.

Rex:

Echo:

Rex:

Echo:

Echo: *runs*

*when the batch found Omega* Echo: I think she looks like someone's daughter, maybe we should put out a missing persons Hunter: Yeah it should have a big picture of her and the words is this your daughter? Not anymore

Hunter: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like ‘look at this flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I’m losing.’ Tech: …You are not ready to hear about trees.

hello there

CLONE EDITION

moving has been very stressful for me so pls enjoy these as i rip fistfuls of hair out of my head because previous tenants dont know how to take care of a beautiful 1920s home

yes im rewatching tcw again mind ur business

nobody on this earth portrays “poor little meow meow” better than crosshair.

Observe.

IM BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING

makes me very happy that tumblr still loves incorrect quotes cus bitch me too

throws these at you and scampers away on all fours

bonus

Blazer: I made coffee.

Iris: I don’t want coffee .

Blazer: I didn’t make you coffee.This is

my coffee.

Iris: Then why did you tell me?

Blazer: It’s a conversation starter.

Iris: It’s a awful conversation starter.

Blazer: Oh, is it? We’re conversing.

Checkmate.

lol

Obi-Wan: How come Vos and I are required to attend the next sexual harassment seminar???

Mace: Because I watched him smack your ass and say ‘that shit jiggles’ in what you thought was an empty hallway yesterday and I feel harassed.

Obi-Wan: …yeah I mean. That’s fair.