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Memory - Blog Posts
5 years ego drawing my Hollow Knight OC's :3
infinity is such a difficult concept to comprehend because humans aren't used to the idea of forever. everyday, something ends in our lives. we can't imagine anything not-ending that is real. our lives are defined by endings. anything related to us will aways end. we will die, another ending. infinity challenges the whole notion of the cycle of everything as we know it.
it's been 5 years and I still remember your birthday. I don't think I'll ever forget it to be honest. it's been imprinted in my brain and every year around the start of fall, I think of you. and I know I'll be having the same thoughts in 10 years time and we'll still be miles away.
Long Term Memory Storage
Long Term Memory Storage
today i woke up slightly past my alarm .
i was almost late to school but i managed to arrive before my tutor sent in the roll .
i handed in my english draft ; its nowhere near finished , but thats okay . we have to do a persuasive speech based around the relevancy of romeo and juliet .
i went to digital , but didnt do the work because it was too complicated and i was running out of ritalin .
i finished my maths assessment yesterday evening , and my teacher was proud of me .
we went to the library at lunch , and i read a scandal in bohemia .
my physics final is due tomorrow and i worked on it in class .
after school i caught the bus to work . i arrived early and there were some of my students outside colouring .
i listened to the oh hellos before working a two hour shift .
tonight i will work on my physics final and my history assessment .
tomorrow i will wake up early for school .
If you ever think that your memory is bad. I once had to look up how to find the are of a rectangle but I have a playlist with all of my liked songs on Spotify and within the first 10 seconds I can identify what the song is.
I wish I would’ve said it
It was cold out, everyone was drunk. I fell asleep on your shoulder, you let me. I wrapped my arms around your left one to keep myself from falling, you let me. They left and went to his house. We stayed. You woke me up, let’s go to the fireplace, you said. And we went, my arms still around you. Half the city watched the burning flames, celebrating nobody knows what. Warm colored reflections on your skin, flames in your eyes, smile on your face. I loved watching you like that. You turned your head to me, said something, blushed and looked away again. I wish I would still remember what you said. My eyes got heavy and I put my head on your shoulder again, you let me. You kept me from falling, always keeping an eye on me. You held on tighter to me as everyone started singing, still celebrating nobody knows what. I loved watching your lips move as you silently sang with em. You laid you head on top of mine, perfect height, you said and we both chuckled. Exactly one head taller, they said and watched us with sparks in their eyes. I loved being there with you. I told you about my thoughts on your friends and you nodded and told me about what you thought about mine. Us two being the only connection between the groups. I loved being the person you let inside your head for a second. I loved being by your side. I loved being me in these exact moments, because that meant having you right next to me. I loved your little laughs. I loved your kisses on the head. I loved your arms around me. I loved watching the flames slowly dancing with you. I loved everything about that night. But it ended, and I for sure didn’t love that. I wanted to tell you everything I loved about this night and how much I didn’t want it to end. And still, to this day, I wish I would’ve said it.
is this common with people with adhd or anyone struggling with any sort of mental stuff, like when you're finally in a good mood. And by that it could be how you start to enjoy reading, painting or anything at all again. Or it can also be how you're not struggling too much with executive function. Basically brain feels pretty good. But since you feel good as if you have no problems at all.. do you just.. forget everything completely about all of your struggles as if none of that ever happened or exist at all. like if you read your own shits about YOUR OWN struggles a question pops out ' did I just made shit up to sound relatable cause I can't fucking remember ever feeling that way- ' even though you're not the sort of person who would do that, and at the same time you struggle to understand the things you wrote down about your feelings cause you simply forgor
I'm asking cause I'm starting therapy and im in a good mood, i can't remember shit. i dont want therapist to think im a liar,making a big deal out of nothing :(
Can we let people forget things?
Can we let people forget things? Cause sometimes I have memory like dory and other times I can remember very well- like I remember that despite the fact you’re a beast at maths you actually like the science subjects! But I can never remember what you said you’re favourite colour was or i remember the time I used a Harry Potter dementor pick up line on you and you laughed but I can’t remember the day of your birth but I know you’re a sweet April baby.
you mean the world to me but if I don't remember things off the top of my head it's not that I don't love you, I just don't have a great memory sometimes
m e m o r i e s
childhood memory.
Asian - One-Pot Hamburger Adobo Dinner
no, you don't understand me
no, you're not even trying
so leave what promises you sought
behind
there's nothing left there
to justify
little scenes and pieces of the
audio visual cool girl
scatter into the screen
with hues of purple light blinding her machines
paths and documents and crowds and rejections
brilliantly laid out, a world of nonfiction
will she ever surmount to the crazy idle teen
but I know most times it never hurts for her to try, however alone she might be
even in the ringing of bells
there's a sound like nothing else
a heart that singing underground
swims alongside where you roam
and I know what I don't
and I don't what I won't
and its hard to stay afloat
Alone here
-s’s.
sun dust spinning around us
an ache I used to feel, once
just cause it got the best of me don’t mean I’ll keep on thinking it through
Or let myself sit any longer in this abandoned room
-s’s.
If my heart had a say in my matters
It would beat in a different way
Black car, stone steps, white windowpane, that never really mattered
White crewneck, black tar stains
I never look back on anything like I do on that day.
-s's.
can't be yours, can't be torn,
can't feel the good and the bad, nor tell them apart.
can't believe my hands when I reach for you and feel your heart
I find time moves more glacially in this vacuum of being alone
-s's.
Dropping the Case Against You
raspy voice within a song
go ahead, take me away
and whereto, you would want to go
my witnesses are futile now that I fell into all this
my case is ruined
no need to testify now, I'll live inside your truth
the cartoons and the movies have no wide-eyed gazes to look back at them. no light of day to shine across the dusty screen. abandoned life, abandoned dreams. left lonely and hidden beyond care. what does it all mean. in this ghost town.
-s's.
What might have been and what has been Point to one end, which is always present. Footfalls echo in the memory Down the passage which we did not take Towards the door we never opened Into the rose-garden. My words echo Thus, in your mind.
T.S. Eliot, from section I of “Burnt Norton,” Four Quartets (Mariner Books, 1968)