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Michelle Jones - Blog Posts
This is the best thing I’ve woken up to a while.
MJ: Hey don’t forget about Spider-idiot. Ned and I have split custody over him.
Ned: He’s an idiot white boy but we still love him.
Peter:
*Wong showing Rhodey around the sanctum*
Wong: This is the Wand of Watoomb. This is the cloak of Levitation. This is my idiot white boy.
Stephen:
Rhodey: Oh you got one too? There’s my idiot white boy over there.
Tony:
Ned: So… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with MJ recently.
Peter: No, Ned, it's not what it looks like, I swear.
Ned: Oh really? So no reason for me to be jealous?
Peter: No! You’re the only one for me.
Ned: Is that so?
Peter: I promise! MJ and I are just dating, okay? She's my girlfriend.
Ned: So there are no best-friends-feelings involved?
Peter: You are still my one and only best friend! She's just the love of my life, nothing more!
Ned: But I’m still the platonic love of your life, right?
Peter: Of course bro!
Ned: Bro...
MJ: What the-
Ned: How come humans don’t lick to show affection?
MJ: Lesbians do
Peter coughing after choking on his saliva: W-what?!
MJ: You heard me
Ned dying of laughter and with an accent: It is what it is
A stranger cat calling MJ: Hey gorgeous. Want me to teach you something?
MJ: Sure. I’ve always wanted to know whether someone can die of constipation.
Stranger: Uhhh. What?
MJ: Will you die of constipation?
Stranger:
MJ: Cause you’re full of shit
Peter and Ned laughing: You killed him
MJ: Hey losers. Give me an honest answer on how much you hate Flash.
Peter: It cannot be represented by mortal means
Ned: I-
MJ:...That’s fair
Peter: MJ is so cute. *sigh*
Ned: ...She just...stabbed Flash for bullying you...
Peter: I said cute not harmless.
MJ: You do know I can hear you?
Peter:
Ned:
MJ: Thanks Loser
I think Spider-man should keep his identity a MAJOR SECRET.
The way people perceive him and treat him rely on NOT knowing who he is. Especially other heros! It is so much more entertaining to see that tension and those misunderstandings, instead of just using, "i have cameras around the city" or "I literately stalked you". It is so much funnier for these highly trainer spies and trackers to just- lose him, at a street corner or something. cameras everywhere except that one blind spot he always disappears from. For some reason all photos of him are blurry and unfocused, and his mask always rips in just the right spot so that you can't actually see his face. It fits with the Parker Luck (tm), because his life would probably be easier if they just figured it out- but they can't, because he's a slippery fast elusive vigilante that never sticks around. Who's actually just incredibly unlucky and late for class. which I think is far more hilarious.
I think its what the MCU made me miss, because in the literal first movie of his, everyone knows his age, identity, friendship, house. HIS villian, knows who he is, and this isn't like, kingpin or Green Gobiln its...THE VULTURE??? LIKE- okay i guess everyone can know about the ONLY character that had a secret identity? every other hero is a world recognized super star at that point, why must you take this one too? Wheres the funny "why do your socks look like that peter?" when he's wearing his suit under a robe, or the frantic pulling away of his backpack whenever someone gets close. We lose so much tension between his friends too, ned already knows, MJ already probably knows, flash is too dumb to figure it out, and other characters either don't matter or care about it, or move away. AUNT MAY knows so those phone calls where he's trying to come up with an excuse while at a bank robbery? literately robbed from us.
here's some zendaya wallpapers :)
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Peter: It’s Christmas! Are you all in a Christmas mood?!
Ned: Merry crisis.
Y/N: Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way.
MJ: Hoe hoe hoe.
Peter: Guys, please.
Ned: Did you bring Y/N?
Shuri, gesturing to Peter: No, but I brought the next best thing.
Ned: Peter? The next best thing would be MJ.
Peter: I would be offended, but MJ is freakishly strong.
*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*
MJ: Thanks fam!
Harley: Oh no.
Peter: *cries* I love you too.
Ned: Sounds fake, but okay.
Y/N: *A flustered mess*
Shuri: Can I get a refund?
Peter: Your lover doesn't have the mental strength to caramelize onions.
Y/N: Your lover thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions.
MJ: Who's fucking caramelizing onions? Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?
Ned: Do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions.
Andrew Garfield: “To heal the most traumatic moment of his own life through doing it for his younger brother. Making sure that he didn’t have the same fate, there’s something cosmically beautiful about that. It meant getting a second chance at saving Gwen.”
SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME (2021) dir. Jon Watts Screenplay by Chris McKenna & Erik Sommers
Kissin’ Dynamite by
crime_fighting_spiderling
“Maybe I shouldn’t go.” Peter spoke. MJ shoved a permission slip into his hand at his comment.
“You’re going.” She simply stated.
Where Peter and his class go on a field trip to Stark Tower.
delmar's daughter by
rewritethewebs
based on the tumblr prompt about mj being mr. delmar's daughter:
"like just IMAGINE Peter one day going into the shop, teasing mr. delmar again about his daughter bc he won't stop bringing up his aunt and then mj pops up from behind her dad stocking up the shop like "what about his daughter?" and it's all up/downhill from there"
Spring Break Fever by
chrono96
Right before their first spring break at NYU, MJ comes over to Ned and Peter's apartment for a favor: she needs someone to spend a week with her and her family in Hawaii, and come as her date to her aunt's wedding so her family will finally stop tormenting her about being single.
There's one catch, though: Peter and MJ can't stand each other, and entangling them in a fake relationship will definitely ensure chaos...and maybe something else.
you want me to be yours (well then you gotta be mine)
by baseline
Peter had completely expected everyone to fawn over MJ, because let’s be honest, he does it himself on a daily basis. What he hadn’t expected, however, was for her to kiss him and then for everyone to come up and give him the shovel talk. On her behalf. When they weren’t even dating for real.
“How is this my life?” he moans at the ceiling, shoving his face into his pillow before the ceiling can do something stupid like respond.
(or, 5 times they pretended + 1 time they didn't.)
from red to violet by carastina
Like a rainbow, it spreads before me. // 30prompts: Michelle/Peter.
Fortuna Major by TheFlirtMeister
“I wanted to be an astronaut when I was little.” Michelle says.
“Why didn't you?” Peter asks.
“Too much math.” Michelle says, in such a serious voice that Peter snorts. “Hey! The amount of maths required crushed my dreams to get up into space!”
Suffer the Children by natneill99
“What happens now?” Peter found himself asking. He wasn’t sure if he was asking Michelle, himself, or the world. It didn’t matter, though. No one had an answer.
Michelle didn’t say anything. Instead, she opened up her notebook and stared at a blank page.
Or,
When Thanos destroyed half of all life, over 7,500,000 children in the US alone suddenly found themselves without a family to go home to. Fourteen-year-old Peter Parker was one of them.
The Adventures of Peter Parker and Shuri by aceschwarz222
T'Challa must spend two weeks at the Avengers Compound working on an agreement with Tony Stark in light of Wakanda opening its borders and resources. He brings along his sister, Shuri, who meets the equally nerdy Peter Parker.
More Adventures of Peter Parker and Shuri by
aceschwarz222
Peter Parker and Shuri are science bros for life. It's been a year since they first met, and with the second summer upon them, it's time for more crazy shenanigans. And what better place to start those shenanigans than with a wedding in Las Vegas?
mj: i don’t really have friends
peter: bold words for someone in my hugging range