Self Awareness - Blog Posts

Quite sad, literally.

Like someone who was born an introvert who begs and struggles to become more outgoing and courageous but the world never allowed it. 

You feel as though you're always in the dark to keep yourself safe but also want to experience the world outside. 

Do not be so open-minded that your brains fall out. - Gilbert K. Chesterton

Primal Chic: The Princess Saves Herself & The Planet in this It Girl meets Survivalist Lifestyle

If you think it girl, you may think of high maintenance, high consumption, pampered, luxe living. I want you to take a step back from that idea with me and introduce a new mindset, Primal Chic. Borrowing from the Clean Girl, GORP Girl, It Girl, Stoic, Survivalist, and Prepper, Primal Chic is all about minimizing your impact on the planet, maximizing your self-sufficiency, and building meaningful sisterhood.

Primal Chic in 3 Words is: Sustainability, Self-Sufficiency, & Sisterhood.

Body: Fuel, Movement, & Beauty

Fuel: Our bodies and minds need high-quality fuel, and that's offered by a whole-food, paleo diet. Many of the foods on the market are heavily processed and loaded with low-quality fillers that drive calories and macros up without meeting our micronutrient needs. On top of this, a huge segment of the market is imported from outside of our local communities, adding heavily to the carbon footprint of our foods. Choosing locally grown, non-GMO, organic produce and proteins from fair trade, regenerative, or woman-owned agri-businesses is a fantastic stepping stone if you can't generate your own food due to time, space, or monetary constraints. I love shopping locally owned health food stores, farmers markets, and farm stands. The price of organics also goes down if you shop store-brand organics. There are also Facebook groups and Pinterest boards dedicated to Paleo recipe swaps. You also want to make sure you're honoring your body's needs in all of it's areas, rest, relaxation, movement, and nutrition.

Movement: Functional, outdoor movement benefits body, mind, and soul. A good hike, a lake swim, or even just a good jog with your pets are all great ways to get your cardio in. Outdoor yoga, rucks, rock climbing, and calisthenics are low-cost, high-reward strength and conditioning exercises that help you to keep toned and ready for action in your day-to-day life. Don't forget ROM either, active recovery walks, daily yoga, and deep stretches ensure you remain flexible and reduce pain from tight, stiff muscles and joints. Adding in a few friends allows you to build sisterhood and meet your social needs too, and being outdoors helps with the chronic vitamin D deficiencies most modern women face.

Beauty: Choosing clean, sustainable beauty and reducing the number of products used is good for your body due to fewer toxins, your mind with lower body and facial dysmorphia from high glam makeup looks, and the planet with less harsh manufacturing processes. Consider switching to multi-use products, reducing the number of products in your skincare & makeup routines, and swapping to washable/reusable body, skin, and feminine hygiene products to care for yourself and our planet. I'll be going into more detail on the swaps I made personally in a blog post next week.

Side Note: Planning a girl's weekend yoga retreat or having a buddy to do the Whole30 (a great intro to Paleo eating) with you is a great way to build up your sisterhoods and your own resolve for this new lifestyle.

Mind: Clarity, Wisdom, and Continuous Growth

Stoicism: The serenity prayer is a fantastic example of the basis of stoicism, letting go of the things you can't control or change, courageously sticking to your values and virtues and changing or controlling the things you can, living in harmony with nature, practice emotional mindfulness and emotional chastity, and practice resilience, learning to bounce back from failures and misfortune. With all things in life there is a learning curve, and allowing yourself to be ruled by algorithms, propaganda, and impulses reduces your own personal power.

Minimalism: Cut out overconsumption to help save the planet, save your wallet, and save your space. Choosing quality, durable, practical, and multi-purpose items allows you to spend less time organizing and cleaning and more time with friends and family, and doing the things that truly feed your soul. You don't have to have a spartan, sterile, white living space to embrace minimalism either, you can still inject your own personal style and personality into your choices, but be more mindful about where and how you're spending your hard-earned money.

Dedication to Continuous Growth: Instead of doom-scrolling or watching brain-rotting television, try switching out social media for micro-learning, soaps for documentaries, and limiting screen time to 1-3 hours per day. Try switching out happy hour for a self-defense or first aid class. Get involved with book swaps and information databases or group PDF sharing.

Heart: Love Thyself, Love Thy Neighbor, Love Thy Planet

Self-Love: Forming a sisterhood and meaningful community starts with loving yourself. You can't draw from an empty well, so being honest and vulnerable with yourself and taking care of yourself is the first step in being able to be there for others at your most authentic. Reminding yourself of your inherent value is important.

Earth: The frequencies of the earth are often interfered with by our man-made surroundings, taking time to ground yourself and connect with the world around you, either on your own, or in a group, is good for the heart. Try and take an hour or two per day and spend it outdoors, really soaking in the beauty you may have been numbed to by having it become mundane.

Connection & Community: Not everyone you meet deserves your whole heart and mind, however, they do deserve basic human dignity and respect, for those closer to you, they do deserve having a reliable friend who they can turn to in times of need and times of victory. Forming meaningful connections across generational divides makes us stronger as women and enriches our lives.

Soul: Mindfulness, Purpose, & Resilience

Mindfulness: Meditation, nature walks, situational awareness, and group activities keep the mind and soul well-fed and the senses sharp should the need arise for defense. Live in the moment as much as you can, rather than drift aimlessly through life without a plan of attack. Spontaneity can still exist here, as you should have a balance of routine and flexibility.

Purpose: What drives you? Who drives you? What values are at your core? Answering these questions allows you to live a purposeful life where you are true to yourself and your community. If your values don't align with the life you're living what changes do you need to have them align?

Resilience: You don't have to make your life harder, but preparing for life's rough times through mental, spiritual, physical, financial and material preparedness is still important. Building a solid community will help with this, but ensuring you yourself have the tools and skills necessary for survival will help even more so.

Planet: Stewardship, Sustainability, and Conscious Consumption

Stewardship: Bring a bag with you on walks and hikes to collect trash and follow the old Girl Scout principle of leaving things better than you found them. Encourage sustainable practices with where you shop and invest your time and resources, and take advantage of your local parks and wild spaces.

Sustainability: Opt for natural materials in clothing, decor, & home goods. Choose materials like wood, cotton, real fur, leather, and linen rather than plastics and petroleum-derived products or "natural" materials with harsh production processes like viscose or bamboo fiber. Reduce your consumption of new products, and shop thrift or vintage where you can, and go as ecologically friendly and durable as you can afford when buying new.

Conscious Consumption: Shop local, woman-owned, small business, and fair trade products wherever you can, skip out on mega polluters like Amazon or Shien, and avoid sweatshop and slave labor wherever you can. Before making purchases, ask yourself if you truly need an item or if you're just looking for a quick dopamine hit. Mend your things if possible rather than trashing them, and opt for donation of things in good condition that no longer fit with who you are.

All in all, the Primal Chic lifestyle is attainable for everyone, and about making conscious, cognizant steps toward a more meaningful, impactful, and mindful life where you live sustainably, & self sufficiently while building meaningful community and sisterhood.

All of this! I love natural materials; they last beautifully, are easy to mend on your own, and don't look dingy after 3 washes. The only real problem is you must learn how to do laundry properly rather than dump all of your clothes together into the washer with 2 tide pods and then blast them with the dryer 1-3 times. Like... A waxed cotton canvas barn coat is significantly warmer than my polyester polyfill jackets on drippy dark hikes, wool & cotton socks don't give me blisters, silk (actual silk, not nylon and elastane) stockings don't give me rashes on the backs of my thighs. Natural materials are your friends!

Idk exactly how to explain this but the softness of real wool and real linen is very different from the artificial softness of polyester “sherpa”, fuzzy faux-fur, spongey acrylic knits and people have gotten too used to the soft plastics and now associate wool with “itchy” and linen with rough and cotton with “too heavy” and then go and wear 100% polyester fleecy sweatshirts and say it’s so warm and cozy but actually they’re just staticky cooking in their sweat locked inside a plastic membrane and you are paying too much to be wearing filaments of petroleum products and the money isn’t going to the people sewing them either. I’m saying you all need to touch grass and the grass in this situation is good quality textiles made of natural fibres.

Buy This, Buy That, "Less than a coffee now!" It seems like every time we're on social media, we're bombarded with products, fashion trends, advertisements, and new "aesthetics" that, conveniently for drop shippers and fast fashion empires, require us to buy a whole new wardrobe and interior design scheme. So, here are my top 10 tips for breaking the cycle.

Figure out who you are. Rather than the you the advertising algorithms tell you that you are.

Go through your current closet, jewelry box, vanity, and decor. Keep what makes you happy, and toss, sell, or donate what doesn't anymore. Yes, this includes those impulse dopamine-seeking purchases and the "little treats."

Make a list of things you realistically do in your day-to-day life that may need closet supplementation from what a standard "capsule" wardrobe would offer you. Church clothes? Sport-specific clothing? Officewear? Do you do a lot of formal events that require attire for certain dress codes? Do you do date night and girl's night outfits? For example: I need dependable workwear for after-hours farm calls so I keep about 5 items in my wardrobe that fit that function. I also keep a bit more workout clothing than some would since I work out 6 days a week.

In the same vein as number 3, are there places where you can increase cross-over between categories in your wardrobe? For example, choosing well-fitted tees that can be worn as under-scrubs and as casual tops around town?

Figure out if there are colors and shades that you look best in/feel the most confident in. There isn't a need to do the one-size-fits-all color analysis that TikTok and Instagram are constantly trying to sell you on reels based on the seasons. Figure out which colors you are complimented the most in, that you feel the best in, and that inspire the most positivity for you. Narrow it down to 4 or 5 colors for both colors and neutrals (blacks, grays, whites, nudes). I did 2-3 colors per season, plus my standard neutrals.

Figure out your style. Personally, I tend to have a fashion that draws inspiration from American traditional, southern prep, English country attire, and the fashions of foxhunting. Think Orvis, LL Bean, Cordings, Dubarry, Talbots, Tory Burch, Ted Baker, and Lily Pulitzer. In decor, I tend to be drawn toward colonial era antiques, leather upholstery, campaign furniture, heavy fabric drapes, ox tongue wood finishes over cherry, oil paintings, black marble, gray field stone, and polished brass. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but I found it by perusing fashions, furniture, decor, even TV and movies for things I adored.

Quality over Quantity: This is a big one. Rather than buying a new outfit every time I wanted to do something, or buying each cute accessory I saw and wanted to buy on impulse, I started getting really picky about the materials and workmanship in the things I purchased. Cheap may look good for a brief time, but it fades quickly. The things I buy now need to fit well, be of good material, be tailorable, have finished seams and edges, and be of substantial enough material that I trust that it will last me 2-10 years depending on the item, with some items being things I intend to only buy once in the cases of jewelry and scarves.

Cool off: This product looks like it would solve XYZ problem for me! Will it? Put it on a wish list and save it for later. If you still think it's going to revolutionize your life a month later, work it into the budget.

Quit buying from TikTok Shop, the majority of the stuff on there is drop-shipped junk made to capitalize on a quick trend, which is also part of why there's always pressure added to the pitch "before it sells out" "For less than the price of a coffee" "While the sale is on" if a product can be sold for $9 when it's usually $100, the deal is too good to be true, and the product won't last. Same goes for Shien and Forever 21 if I'm honest.

Focus on 1-2 items per season, an accessory, a cute top or a fun dress. Reducing my consumption to replacement levels plus 1 or 2 items has drastically cut my spending on fashion and decor. I also check second-hand stores first.

I went ahead and included some inspiration boards for you, one with pretty typical accessories for me, one to help better visualize my fashion sense, and then 2 palettes, my colors and my neutrals. I hope you all liked this, I'll also be doing a breakdown of my jewelry, vanity, and closet here soon.

Love,

happy mean girls day to all my nice girls out there

Manifesting 🤎🧸

Are teen years just supposed to be a shit show? Is my mindset supposed to change every 10 minutes? Am I supposed to go back and forth between the want to ruin my whole life and the want to build on and take care of myself? Am I supposed to feel this hostile towards my family? Am I supposed to feel like no one likes me? Is this what I should’ve expected?

Don't sabotage your future peace because familiar chaos is comfortable.

enemies to lovers but it's me and myself

Don't sabotage your future peace because familiar chaos is comfortable.

"No matter how bad you think you look, someone's always gonna think you're hot." -Paraphrased from a woman thrice my age.

Consciousness is the only reality.

Choose empowering beliefs 

In the process of changing beliefs, choose beliefs that are empowering to your soul. A good way to know what belief will be empowering is to simply ask yourself how you feel about adding the new belief. If you feel a strong connection with a new belief, such as feelings of excitement, it will probably be a very good choice of a belief to implement. Make a conscious effort to purge all beliefs that are less than satisfying. Understand also that as you become a more conscious human being, changing your beliefs will become a much easier, more natural process.

Peace & Blessings, Our Journey to Balance 

When you recognize your personal power, you no longer need to feel superior or inferior to anyone else.

Deepak Chopra (via icreatewhatibelieve)

What we find is that if you have a goal that is very, very far out, and you approach it in little steps, you start to get there faster. Your mind opens up to the possibilities.

Mae Jemison (First African American Female Astronaut)

I want to be completely honest.

There are going to be people who are better than you.

There will be times when someone is going to get ahead of you

And there will be times when you worked hard, and you didn't achieve it.

And yes, it is fine. Completely fine. You are allowed to be disappointed. You are allowed to be sad. And you are allowed to get pissed.

It's the brutal truth that you may not get what you want all the time. And you should learn to be okay with that.

Romanticize Studying?

An honest study tip is don't try to romanticize studying. Like, it's good but it works for around a week and then you're back to your lazy couch potato because you can't even sit and study and now you have added extra things that need to be done to actually study. You've added more steps.... Which makes it an even harder task.

Try actually being.... Let's say scared? Recently, I've got this interesting tip, I actually think about the worst possible result I could get and the reactions I'd get and that always gets me going. Because fear is always a better motivator.

(I'm really curious 0-0)

Reminder

People who tell you to respect their boundaries and they don't respect yours are toxic.

People who constantly remind you about their favours are toxic

People who take up for someone but won't take up for you even if the situation is same are toxic

People who want respect but don't give respect are toxic

People who are nice can be toxic

People who expect you to cross oceans for them but they won't cross a puddle for you are toxic

People from your own family can be toxic

People from your friend group can be toxic

People who frustrate you purposely to irritate you are toxic

People who stress you out just for fun are toxic

People who blame you for expressing emotions are toxic

People who misuse your kindness are toxic.

People who call you "dramatic" and dismiss your emotions are toxic

People who take more than they give are toxic

People who don't want to adjust with you but expect you to are toxic

People who violate your peace of mind continuously are toxic

People who make you apologize for something that isn't your fault are toxic

People who make you seem like the bad guy are toxic.

People who never apologize for their faults are toxic

People who never acknowledge that they're wrong are toxic

People can be toxic. People can be toxic even if they're your family, friends, collogues, classmates, spouses. Remember. That.

It is better to be aware than to be ignorant. Don't let anyone treat you badly. You deserve all the respect you get.