Your personal Tumblr library awaits
Tumblr Stuff - Blog Posts
@scarletcannotbenormal and I convinced our friend to join tumblr. Hehe we do a little trolling
today is worst day, i am off killing myself.
+
our existence and future is predetermined by variables around us.
some things that make you better, and some things that don't.
when I consider that I imagine I should just off myself today.
I got shock figuring out I am 22, not 21 years old. I lost track of time so badly I forgot that. I thought I was 21 and convinced myself. But I actually am 22 now. Wow, last 5 years of my life were hell. In fact, I'd say everything after 12 was already hell. It was empty void. That's why I really hate videogames, why did I spend so much time playing garbage like Dark Souls? Jesus. Uh... Fuck, I am 22 years old, holy shit I am fucked. It's time to think about my future priorities. a month in mental asylum then few years of absolute suffering and misery, anything after 2015 is blurry to me, I feel like I stopped existing as entity. I wasted a lot of time on social media, a lot of time chasing nothingness, things that possess no power in the world.
And now it's actually 2025?! My brain feels like nothing has been happening and I was genuinely rotting away. I am glad I managed to release some of these touhou videos, I am glad I managed to bring churro back. But everything in my spirit feels miserable, it's pretty obvious I am not cutout for humanity's methodology. I haven't made any friends nor any partner, I do not have any form of support at all. Not even one of family. And with my personality, with my way of being, I doubt I'll ever be able to get any. My ego is in shambles and anger as of right now. It's funny right? It's a small detail but if I said 21 it would have made me FEEL as if I accomplished a little of something. By taking a date one year further now it makes me feel like I am REALLY LATE. After all, I took a while to condition myself to the premise of "atmosphere", this is how "things are supposed to be or play out". I feel insignificant today and like the world is jusjt gonna step on me to death and there's nothing I can do. I am people pleaser, because i felt socially forced to act like one. Like that was a means of survival that I half-hazardly accepted while not feeling it in my heart. Now even complaining makes me feel like age is crawling as penalty for speaking words here. Indeed, nobody really cares. It's all fake, people only care about things that cost zero risk. Associating yourself with something weak makes you weak, isn't that right?
So, what will be my priorities for the rest of my life?
I am definitely alone and I am also not strong to defeat the world on my own, I am tired of ironyposting. I am fucking tired of watching shit youtube content. I am tired of social media hijacking my mind (when really i would've preferred living in a tribe than this fucking -technocratic place) well.. 1. I will try to work on churro as much as I can so this site works and I will use my finance to support it. Since I won't ever have a child, I can share it with the site. It can be costly for future servers and for advertising on whenever I can, but it is my genuine goal to both spend my time and money on the site. That said, I cannot do it while also working, because a few hours aren't enough to code any substantial changes or fix bugs. I will work on trying to take a gambit of perfecting the site while NEET at the moment. My second goal is touhouposting, I thought that I will have periods where I upload videos on youtube and continue doing it. Playing videogames might not be good way to spend free time, but nobody really liked me and I don't communicate so I feel this is better efficient way than all these times I tried making friends. I will probably upload touhou videos every 4 days if my time allows it, but I will eventually run out of time to edit.
So, the touhou thing isn't eternal, give it like 5 years maybe max, I hope to end it at 3. They will be published even if I die but they ought to be entertaining videos.
With that said, gym and training play huge role of my daily life. So that also takes a lot of time.
And procrastinating, I gotta talk about the worst. I am bad at dealing with abstract things, they waste my time more than anything. I am already a loser incel the way I am but when I deal with something that doesn't have a clear goal it will be bothering me. I need to manage my time so I spend the LEAST time on things that requrie entertainment over work. This stuff is something that is hard to fight when you got addicted to brainrot.
As for drawing, drawing is genuine effort workoholic example, so I priotize drawing in free time over meaningless conversations with people who only care about themselves anyway + doom feedscrolling (awful i hate it i am not gonna do it anymroe notgonnadoit My life looks pretty shady according to human standard, but I never went to bars or anything like that, in fact maybe its peopel who are shady and they have the majority. So, what do I do after I get churro perfect and upload all vids I wanted? hm....
yep, I'm probably gonna die. I wouldn't know anything anymore, it'd be nice to have son who would manage churro, maybe I can adopt somebody at very late age as ultra-cuck or something, I am getting tired of typing....
The Bots:
Hi! Just wanted to pop in here because lately, my activity has been flooded with a bunch of random bots following me, i'm sure those that have more experience with tumblr can related, but for an example, here is a recent account that has followed me:
All of them have a username that sounds like a name generator came up with it (Bonus points if there's a number added) have a random picture of a female as its pfp, and nothing on their blog. Same thing over and over at nauseam.
I wanted to bring this up because i've gotten follows from these accounts for what feels like forever at this rate, even though I haven't posted much since the sunky zalgo drawing a while back. If you just so happen to have a similar experience with such bots let me know
That's about all I have for now, uh, stay awesome and don't get zapped by the terminator.
Turned on light mode for the first time in months. Immediately regretted it.
All i need is holding by like this
I collect things
I've been collecting things for a long time now
Especially if they resemble turtles, bees, relate to any of my interests, are teddy bears, rocks, or pins
it's so weird to me that everyone on this website is a human person outside of their weird internet niche so rb this with a random bit of your lore
People on Tumblr are seriously arguing about the pronunciation of sauce. Hey why don't you ask the Chinese how to pronounce this guy's name?
#I roast my marshmallows with the fires of Hades
The way my life flashed before my eyes
Does anyone else agonize over their tags when they reblog stuff? I never know what to add.
is everyone else seeing all of the amazon job posts?? whats going on with them?
how tf do people keep their main blogs aesthetic? side blogs are easy when its focused on a topic and curated but MAIN?!?! are you a mad man?!?!
My New Pfp
This took two hours if you can believe it. Originally, I was gonna use a pastel color palette to draw a random character until I got more into it and decided to make it my main OC. Funny how life works, huh?
Wouldn't say I'm “proud” of it, since to me its just another artwork on my phone and another post on tumblr. I think its good but that's about it. Idk if this is bc of autism, ADHD, depression, or if its just me; does anyone else feel this way????
To be clear, this isn't a vent or anything, just a small rant. Wasn't planning on writing this much and might delete it later so who knows?
Again, life is weird like that lol
Mandala Art - 50 Mandala di Piccoli Uccelli da Colorare per Adulti e Bambini
Colorare Mandala è un momento di pace e serenità interiore che dovremmo sempre ritagliarci, in questa vita stressante e caotica. Mentre di colora un Mandala, il cervello entra in uno stato di profondo rilassamento. In questo libro la tematica è "Piccoli uccelli". Potete comprarlo in versione cartacea su Amazon.
ok since i don't think i've seen any semi-comprehensive lists of the tumblr holidays for the reddit refugees, here it is.
IT JUST HAPPENS
DAY 15 GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15
Thursday the 20th
The Fifth of Wednesday
Sometime in June: That One Halloween Post Starts Circulating
Sometime in July: Dancing Pumpkin Man Video/Gif
WEEKLY EVENTS
Every Monday: El Muchacho Monday
Every Tuesday: Tuesday Again? No Problem...
Every Wednesday: Wet Beast Wednesday
Every Thursday: Out of Touch Thursday
Every Friday: Flat Fuck Friday
Every Saturday: Don't @ Me, I'm Chilling/Caturday
Every Sunday: Fingers In His Ass Sunday
YEARLY EVENTS
January 16: Appreciate a Dragon Day
January 29: Threshold Day
All of February: Funguary
February 14: Aromantic/Asexual Day
March 9: Miku Day
March 10: Mario Day
March 14: Pi Day
March 15: Ides of March
March 23: Ever Given Got Stuck Today
April 1: Mishapocalypse
April 2: Dashcon Announcement Anniversary
April 3: Dannypocalypse
April 8: Rex Manning Day
ALSO April 8: MARGARET THATCHER IS DEAD
April 13: Neil Banging Out The Tunes
ALSO April 13: Homestuck Day
April 20: haha 420 blaze it
April 25: The Perfect Date
April 28: Ed Balls Day
April 30: It's Gonna Be May
All of May: Mermay
May 3: Beginning of Dracula Daily
May 4: May the 4th Be With You
May 5: Revenge of the Fifth
May 25: The Glorious 25th of May
All of June: Pride Month
ALSO All of June: IT'S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY
June 5: Barricade Day
June 16: Let Papyrus Say Fuck
July 20: Moon Landing
September 8: The Queen Is Dead and Sans Undertale Killed Her
September 21: DO YOU REMEMBER-
All of October: SKELETON WAR
ALSO All of October: Inktober
October 3: Mean Girls Day
ALSO October 3: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood Day
October 20: Unnecessary Feelings Day
October 31: HALLOWEEN
November 5: honestly what didn't happen that day
November 19: Goncharov
All of December: Will the Gävle Goat Get Destroyed Again?
December 10: Please, It's Christmas
December 24: ALMOST CHRISTMAS MEANS IT WASN'T CHRISTMAS