Billy's Mom Lost Billy Privileges Hes Our Son Now

And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves

"Him so sweet", I say, in a baby voice, about an 80s rockstar over twice my age who needs therapy and rehab

The sluttiest thing a man can do is play the guitar/bass

Nothing will ever be more funny to me than Billy straight up fighting his way through a crowd of drunk, dancing teenagers just to mess with Steve

I like to imagine 50 year old Billy Hargrove going on and on about how theres no good music anymore only to mumble WAP as he cooks breakfast

canon

Eddie and Steve take their six children (Dustin mike el will Lucas and max) (with Robin of course) on a family trip to see lord of the rings when it comes out and Steve cries

Billy the type of guy to find a pitbull behind a dumpster eating trash and take it home and spoil it and Steve just has to go along with it

Billy definitely naming her princess and trimming her nails and giving her pretty collars with bows and carrying her around the house like she's a baby

girl dinner

national holiday

I love the idea of everyone saying Steve is hot, attractive, has great hair, etc — but Eddie always has the most out of nowhere/blunt compliments for Steve because he is genuinely in love with every part of Steve and unable to help himself.

So here’s a compilation of compliments I think Eddie would give to/about Steve (feel free to reblog with more):

• “Steve’s best feature? Probably his spots. He’s got like two on his face, a few on his neck, but he is covered in them under that shirt. Like a Dalmatian.”

• “Dude, your scar looks awesome. Kind of looks like a bunch of hearts.”

“Eddie that’s where they bit me, and that’s where they clawed at me.”

“And they did it with love apparently.”

• “God, it gets me hot and bothered when he does the mom thing. Hands on his hips, towel over the shoulder, sign me up. Am I like, a MILF lover now?”

• “I’ll admit, he’s a good driver. Better than me. Also suuuuuper attractive when he reverses. Makes me feel like a proper lady, you know?”

“Oh my god, please ignore him.”

• *Steve rambling during movie night* “I’m sorry, I’m talking over the movie, just tell me to shut up.”

“You are a hundred times more interesting than any movie, Steve, keep going. I wanna hear your monologue on this next scene too.”

• “You are the best gift giver ever.”

“It’s…my apron?”

“‘Kiss the Cook’ is a gift to me, baby, now lift the kitchen ban so I can come inside and smooch you.”

“No. Absolutely not.”

• “I love your hands. They’re so cold.”

“How is that a good thing?”

“Because I am an steaming cauldron of sexual desire, now get those hands on me, lover boy.”

• “Your hair smells nice.”

“What?”

“Smells good.”

“Stop smelling me???”

• “I can always hear when you enter a room.”

“Oh. Sorry?”

“No, I like it.”

• “Your hands are bigger than mine.”

“Jealous?”

“No. They’re perfect.”

“Oh…*flustered Steve noises*”

• “You move a lot in your sleep.”

“Oh shit, my bad.”

“You talk too.”

“Aw fuck, really? I can sleep elsewhere if I’m keeping you up…”

“No, stay, stay. Keeps me entertained when I can’t sleep myself. It’s cute.”

• “Your toes are so ugly.”

“Dude, leave my feet out of this.”

“They’re ugly in like, a cute way.”

“What???”

“Just stop using your talons to tear up my legs.”

• “I like your nose.”

“It’s kinda crooked. Broke it one too many times.”

“I love it. It’s attached to you.”

• “You’re getting wrinkles.”

“Oh god, already?”

“Mm. Happy lines.”

“Happy lines?”

“All the crinkles and lines you get from smiling a bunch.” *grins, tracing them* “They make you extra pretty.”

Just Eddie showering Steve with praise in his weirdly blunt way and Steve being unable to handle it <3