Latest Posts by caramel-lita - Page 2

listening to the pronunciation samples wikipedia offers of different types of consonants and you know what, I don't believe some of these are actually different sounds. I think this is some audiophile shit like gold-plated cables.

He deserves it.

in guarani there's a standard greeting that literally translates to "are you happy" (ndevy'apa) and the natural reply is "i'm happy" (avy'a) and as americans learning the language we were so distressed like "but what if we're not happy....." and our teachers were like "that's so not the fucking point"

we kept trying to think of any other way to reply but our teachers kept trying to get it into our brains that it's an idiomatic greeting, it literally is not the time or place to traumadump, and as usamerican english speakers we are not some special exception for saying "what's up" with the reply being "not much" instead of "the ceiling"

but anyway while i was working in paraguay -- the country with the largest population of guarani speakers -- i got sent an article by some friends back home like "look! they're saying that paraguay is the happiest country in the world!"

and the methodology was "we went around and asked paraguayans if they're happy and recorded their responses" and i was like. oh. of course you did. and of course you got a 100% positive response rate.

This is your daily reminder to be kind to others. Always be kind to others. Fandoms are a safe space where people can relax and finally be themselves. Don't ruin that.

every so often im struck by the memory of one of my college professors getting very angry with our class (art history of pompeii 250) because when she excitedly detailed the ingenious roman invention of heated floors in bathhouses via hearths in small crawlspaces, we asked who was tending the fires. she said "oh, slaves i suppose. but that isnt the point". and we said that it actually very much was the point. she had just told us that in roman society there were dozens of people, maybe hundreds, who spent every day of their enslaved lives crawling in cramped, hot, smoky tunnels to light fires to warm pools of water (which they were not allowed to swim in). how could that not be the point?

she wanted us to focus on the art, on the innovation of heated plumbing, on the tiles and decorations of the bathhouses, and all we wanted to do was learn more about the people under the floors. and she didn't know anything more about that. in fact, she said she thought we were focusing too much on superfluous details.

it feels almost hokey to put too fine a point on the idea im getting at here but i will anyway: There are a lot of people who are still under the floors. all these beautiful, convenient, brilliant innovations of modern society (think fast fashion, chatgpt, uber, doordash) are still powered by people working in inhumane, untenable conditions.

the people who run these systems want you to focus on the good - who doesnt love warm water? - but if anything is going to improve or change in our lifetimes, you need to examine these things with an attentive, critical, and empathetic eye. and for fucks sake stop ordering from amazon

when your life is falling apart but you have to cram an assignment for uni

Ineffable Husbands really is that ship that has it all. They’re married. They’re divorced. They’ve never been together at all. They’ve been pining for 6000 years. They’re gay except they’re also not at all. They’re technically enemies to lovers but they’ve never been enemies nor lovers. Name any fanfic trope, they’ve probably been there, done that and they were entirely oblivious about it. Incredible ship.

#Suffering forever

Aziraphale loves Crowley so much that he is willing to rebuild heaven for him.

He loves him so much he is willing to give up everything if it means there is a chance he might smile again

Aziraphale loves Crowley so much that he will rewrite existence if Crowley can make stars again

Crowley loves Aziraphale so much that he doesn't need any of that

He loves him so much that he doesn't need heaven, or happiness, or the stars

Crowley loves Aziraphale so much that he is Crowley's heaven, or happiness, or stars

They love each other so much that it blinded them, and they never asked the other how they wanted to be loved

Here's the thing though right. What if Crowley didn't actually realize he was in love? He projects his very own "fall in love" scenario (sheltering from the rain) onto Maggie and Nina, but when Nina suggests that they're an item he looks quietly dumbstruck. He doesn't even think to say anything until the others tell him he needs to. We all know he fell in love on the walls of Eden, but I don't think he *does*.

And then Aziraphale, who takes longer to get there, gets his revelation when Crowley saves his books. He's known how he feels since 1941, with all the fear and quiet devastation that goes with it. And now, now that they're free, he's ready. He wants to move on with Crowley, he touches and flirts and dances and says "our car". He's *ready*. And he's trying to show it the best way he knows how.

But Crowley doesn't know. Crowley who's loved him so well from the very beginning, DOESN'T EVEN KNOW IT'S LOVE HE'S FEELING, and he doesn't understand what Aziraphale's been trying to tell him. And now he's alone.

The truths that Crowley hides from Aziraphale are really stacking up.

Crowley never told him the details of the archangels trying to execute him.

Crowley didnt tell him that Gabriel said "shut your stupid mouth and die"

Crowley didnt tell him about the Book of Life punishment.

Crowley hasn't told him what he learned in Heaven about Armageddon 2.0

Crowley hasn't told him about Gabriel's trial either

Crowley hasn't told Aziraphale why he is so sure that even as Supreme Archangel, Aziraphale won't be able to change anything meaningful about Heaven, how Crowley knows that Aziraphale is actually putting himself in a vulnerable position by going back. (My theory is that Crowley was formerly the Supreme Archangel before he Fell, which I have a lot to say about.)

Sometimes Crowley's desire to protect Aziraphale from harm, even from the harm of knowing too much, is so strong it makes him act illogically. This absolutely has to be resolved in order for their relationship to be repaired and I can't wait to see how it plays out.

I'm not really getting the Aziraphale hate because even without all the pressures of religious brainwashing etc etc we've literally just seen through his eyes:

- Crowley radiating joy at the sheer wonder of the universe only to be crushed by orders from up high

- Those orders being the ONLY reason Crowley fell. Aziraphale knows (and has always known) that Crowley fell simply because no one wanted to listen to his ideas.

- 6000 of Crowley clearly aching to do good in defiance of his own nature

- Crowley admitting how desperately lonely that defiance is for him

- Crowley being BETTER than Aziraphale at morality and making Aziraphale better as a result

- Evidence that no one is ever going to be chill with Angel/Demon relationships unless they are too powerful to be stopped and/or willing to vanish

- That they are never going to escape the monitoring of heaven/hell (they literally were *stalked* by both sides the entire season) so they can't just live unnoticed among humans

- Even during their last few years of 'freedom' Crowley has still been desperately unhappy. He's at the 'what's the point of it all???' stage BEFORE anything bad happens in S2. For all he talks about the preciousness of their life, Crowley is radiating misery during his freedom whereas Aziraphale actually seems happy.

Like why WOULDN'T Aziraphale see this offer as the perfect solution? Crowley can get what he always wanted - to do good without anyone stopping him, with Aziraphale helping. It can be exactly like the nebula scene forever - only this time Aziraphale can just bask in Crowley's joy.

From his pov he is sacrificing his own life on Earth for THAT.

Oof we are in the last 20% of a very angsty slow burn, kiddos.

can we talk about how sweet crowley was this whole season. he told gabriel to jump from the window, regretted it, and made him cocoa. he saved a woman from suicide. he saved a bunch of goats and 3 kids by turning them into birds or lizards. he bumped muriel on the shoulder like a dad would when they told him they were 37th not 38th. he wanted aziraphale to be safe. he told that one guy not to feed the ducks bread because he wanted the ducks to be safe. he sheltered aziraphale, who he’d only known for a few minutes, under his wing. he helped aziraphale with his magic trick and supported him the whole season—his only condition being that aziraphale was safe.

crowley is a good person. even if he hates that, it’s true. and more than anything he wants aziraphale to be safe because he knows what it’s like to lose him. and he wants to protect aziraphale from heaven, because he knows how terrible they can be.

Boxfly. Maybe. I didn't watch the show.

I hate how in character Aziraphales decision in the finale was. Like I wish I could believe the coffee theory or say that the writing was out of character but it wasn’t. Aziraphale has never gotten over the good vs evil heaven vs hell black and white morality thing and that’s shown throughout the series. It hurts so much more because he really would make that decision.

Aziraphale was not miracled by the coffee you guys. He legit thinks he’s doing the right thing. That’s what makes it so sad.

He wants to go with Crowley but he can’t because the opportunity to fix everything is too important and how does Crowley not understand??? Why won’t he just COME WITH ME TO FIX EVERYTHING!???

Then Crowley kisses him and that just completely shatters him because he can’t go with him. In his eyes, he can’t pass up this chance no matter how much he doesn’t want to hurt Crowley. “I forgive you” for not coming to fix things with me. And Crowley knows the moment he says that he’s not going to change his mind and says “don’t bother”. Don’t bother forgiving me, don’t bother explaining why you won’t come with me. Just don’t bother. I’m done trying to convince you.

Perfectly in character. Horribly tragic. Poetic cinema.

Torn between duty and love. One chooses love, one chooses duty.

Classic.

Okay, so I’m on my second watch of s2 and I think people are really being too harsh on Aziraphale. Here’s the receipts:

1 - He said to Metatron that he didn’t want to go back to heaven, he only accepted the job after Metatron said he could take Crowley with him

2 - When Crowley says “If Gabriel and Belzebu can go off together, then we can […].We need to get away from them, just be an us. You and me.”, Aziraphale answers “Come with me to heaven. […] We can make a difference.[…] We can be together, angels, doing good.” He is not rejecting Crowley nor the idea of them being together, he is rejecting the idea of doing nothing to make things better. He’s saying “let’s be an us in heaven, where we can be together and look after this planet that we both love instead of abandoning it”

(Of course that he is seeing heaven through rose-tinted glasses, but this is a whole different rant)

3 - The dialogue in the book shop is very similar to S1 when Crowley say they can go off together and let the Armageddon happen: While Crowley wants to run away and save them both, Aziraphale wants to try saving Earth, the only difference is that now Aziraphale recognizes that he needs Crowley and wants to be with Crowley.

4 - Just before EVERY, Crowley says “You idiot, we could have been us”, Aziraphale turns away from him to cry. In this scene I believe they are both thinking the same thing “He might even want to be with me but only on his terms.” 

5 - The “I FORGIVE YOU” scene, he meant “I forgive you for not wanting to come with me and trying to change my mind, instead breaking my heart even more”

Aziraphale LOVES Earth and will try to do everything to save it and he knows Crowley loves Earth too, they are not Gabriel and Belzebu who never cared for Earth nor humans. He knows Crowley didn’t want to work for Hell anymore and that he is good and he can finally do good without being punished.

Crowley (and the viewers) has a much clearer and realistic vision of how things work, because heaven has already betrayed him. He doesn’t want to go back there because he already knows all of its flaws. 

Crowley is a realist (and a bit of a pessimist), he believes Earth will end because heaven and hell cannot be trusted, so the best solution is to run away while they can.

 Aziraphale is an idealistic, he is going to heaven, he is going to fix the system, Earth will be happy and safe forever, Crowley will realize that and go to heaven after him and they will live happily ever after. 

SO WHEN Metatron said about the second coming Aziraphale REALIZED Crowley was right about heaven, but he still had to try to save Earth instead of taking the easy way out.

SO STOP TALKING SHIT ABOUT THE ANGEL, HE LOVES CROWLEY AND LOVES EARTH AND IS JUST TRYING TO SAVE EVERYONE

I can understand why people want to think the coffee was laced or something but the answer is a lot more simple. It was a thought out, calculated manipulation. The Metatron took Aziraphale away from his home and the one person he trusts. He begins to praise him, saying he’d be a much better fit to lead heaven. He used Crowley as a bargaining chip. Well we can bring him with us of course! He can be forgiven and you two can be happy and safe! Of course Aziraphale wouldn’t see past that. He wants nothing more than to do good and be with the person he loves the most.

It wasn’t coffee that made him do what he did, it’s being stuck and a toxic and manipulative relationship with Heaven. He took the first chance he got to go back because it’s what’s familiar to him. Even though he knows how bad it is. He thinks, if I can just change it, it can all be better! It’s a parallel to toxic human relationships. The idea that you can change the other for the better, but in doing so you sacrifice everything important to you.

Hope this made sense (not the best at writing my thoughts down)

I can’t believe I went through all of Season 2 assuming Nina was the stand-in for Crowley when you actually pay attention it’s so CLEAR that she’s Aziraphale. I was tricked by her spiky, sarcastic, cynical outer shell and lulled into a false sense of security by Maggie’s bubbly optimism and wholesome goodness, because on the surface they reflect the ineffable husbands perfectly, in their personalities, their aesthetics, even many of their actions and morals. but not, and this is the real key, when it comes to their “relationship”. but those first impressions really had me damn fooled. 

I missed the blatantness of Nina’s “we’re just friends. actually we’re not friends. we barely know each other.” the same thing Aziraphale said in season 1.  the way he still struggles to quantify their friendship when Nina asks. Nina’s sarcasm when Crowley asks about rain and awnings because it worked for him (we all know it LMAO). hell, that whole convo the girls have in the rain is so AziraCrow (“I know. I’m not your type” “…You have no idea” hits so much harder the second time, help meeeee.) “Lindsay” maybe being symbolic of Heaven and Aziraphale’s toxic relationship with them and their abuse? (the handwritten text messages in red pen make me think of angry notes on paperwork, anyone else?) because Crowley has never actually cared about what Hell thinks of him, just not getting into trouble (or him or Aziraphale getting hurt). Maggie is always chasing Nina. NINA NEVER GOES IN THE RECORD STORE. Just like Crowley always goes to the bookstore, to Aziraphale, Zira NEVER WENT TO THE FLAT (apart from The Swap but that doesn’t count imo). Crowley has always chased Zira, not the other way around. Always there to rescue him, always going to him for company, always relying on their shared connection, always US. OUR SIDE. All through season one, he comes to Zira every time to work together, never trying to work alongside Hell in any way that isn’t to save their skins or Earth, while Zira hides things from Crowley because he STILL thinks Heaven is ultimately good and will do the right thing if he can just show them. fix it from the inside. 

Maggie working up the courage to finally say something, to put herself out there, while Nina is utterly oblivious and then when she does realise Maggie has feelings, becoming standoffish, putting up that barrier, fighting it, denying it, ITS SO CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE IN THAT ORDER. the way I was fooled into thinking Nina’s trust issues are Crowley because he does have trust issues ofc he does BUT Crowley has ALWAYS TRUSTED AZIRAPHALE. has always relied on him. has always been hurt when Aziraphale doesn’t immediately reciprocate the way he expects (the holy water request, the bandstand, the “off in the stars” etc). he’s always the one putting himself forward. Aziraphale has always been the one to second guess everything, to fight their connection, their similarities, their friendship. the girls really made me think it was going to be okay when they sat Crowley down, even as my inner sirens were going haywire about Metatron interfering, they were telling Crowley he just needs to open up and it’ll all work out BUT HE’S ALREADY AT THAT POINT. he may not say it, and by gosh is that part of their damn problem, but he’s always SHOWN IT. he’s not Nina who needs time to heal and recover from her broken trust, he’s always been Maggie believing it doesn’t matter, they’ll end up together in the end anyway AND I WALKED RIGHT INTO THE TRAP THAT THIS MEANT THEY WERE GOING TO BE OKAYYYYYYYYYYY

Also what the fuck was the im sorry dance. They really just did that and there was no further context. One of them said "do a silly little jig for my forgiveness" one day and they both just. Committed. What is wrong with them I wanna study them under a microscope

no but it's the way for aziraphale "nothing lasts forever" meant "i'm willing to give up the bookshop if it means i can be with you safely" and for crowley it meant "nothing lasts forever, not the bookshop, not earth, not us"

Two sign memes in one day! Wow!