ALRIGHT YOU LITTLE SHITS I’VE MADE YOUR SKIN SOFT AND YOUR LIPS RED AS BLOOD NOW IT’S TIME FOR SOME FINE ASS HOME FURNISHINGS CUZ YOU’RE ABOUT TO LEARN HOW TO MAKE
MUTHA
FUCKIN
STRING
BALLS
FIRST THINGS FIRST YOU NEED A BALLOON. IF YOU’RE BASIC LIKE ME YOU CAN USE NORMAL BALLOONS OR IF YOU WANT YOUR BALLS TO BE AS ROUND AS THE SOULS YOU HARVEST THEN GET SOME PUNCHING BALLOONS LIKE THIS
NOW THE FOLLOWING STEP IS OPTIONAL AND BY OPTIONAL I MEAN JUST DO IT LIKE A NIKE SHOE. GET SOME VASELINE AND SMEAR A THIN LAYER ALL OVER YOUR BALLOON I KNOW IT’S GOOEY GET OVER IT WEAR GLOVES IF YOU MUST OK NOW YOU NEED SOME STRING I LIKE THIS KIND
YOU CAN USE COTTON STRING OR YARN OR HEMP WHATEVER YOU LIKE YOU CAN GET IT IN COOL COLORS OR JUST PLAIN ASS WHITE
DID I MENTION YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT DOWN NEWSPAPER OR SOMETHING BECAUSE THIS SHIT COULD GET MESSY? YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO FIGURE THESE THINGS OUT. NOW THIS NEXT PART YOU CAN TOTALLY BUST OUT THOSE GLOVES AND I WONT EVEN JUDGE CUZ DAMN I HAVE MORE GLITTER ON MY FINGERNAILS THAN A DRAG QUEEN GET YOURSELF SOME MOD PODGE
I USED THE KIND WITH GLITTER OR YOU CAN USE ELMERS GLUE I GUESS IF YOU REALLY HAVE TO OR WHATEVER KIND OF CRAFT GLUE OR DECOUPAGE YOU LIKE TO USE. YOU CAN MIX IN GLITTER IF YOU WANT TO. NOW GET YOUR STRING AND CUT OFF HOW MUCH YOU THINK YOU WANT TO USE AND LAY IT ON A PAPER PLATE. NOW SOAK THE STRING IN MOD PODGE LIKE THE STRING IS A WHITE T-SHIRT AND THE MOD PODGE IS WATER.
NOW TIE THE STRING TO THE BALLOONS NECK LEAVING ABOUT A FOOT OF EXTRA STRING THEN WRAP IT AROUND UNTIL IT LOOKS LIKE A PIECE OF FUCKING ART AWWW YEAH YOU’RE SO GOOD AT ART NOW ALL THAT’S LEFT TO DO IS TIE IT SOMEWHERE TO DRY, TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS, AND CATAPULT INTO BED AND WAIT FOR TOMORROW
IS IT TOMORROW YET I SURE HOPE SO NOW THE NEXT STEP IS VERY IMPORTANT TAKE YOUR FINGERS AND WORK THE BALLOON AWAY FROM THE STRING BECUASE OTHERWISE IT WILL GET ALL CRUSHY LIKE THIS WHEN YOU POP THE BALLOON
SO JUST GET YOUR FINGERS IN THERE AND UNSTICK THE STRING FROM THE BALLOON THEN SNIP A HOLE IN THE BALLOONS NECK AND CAREFULLY LET THE AIR OUT AS YOU KEEP WORKING THE STRING OFF
NOW SLAM DUNK THAT BALLOON IN THE TRASH YOU HAVE YOURSELF ONE HELL OF A STRING BALL NOT REALLY YOUR FIRST ONE PROBABLY WONT LOOK THAT AMAZING BUT DAMN YOU MADE IT AND YOU’RE A FUCKING ALL STAR GET YOUR GAME ON GO PLAY
NOW YOU CAN MAKE A BUNCH AND STRING FAIRY LIGHTS THROUGH THEM OR JUST HANG THEM AS DECORATIVES TRY YSING DIFFERENT COLOR STRING OR EVEN STRIPS OF LACE THE WORLD IS YOUR STRING BALL CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS
7/? Favourite Supernatural Tumblr Posts
when no one in class is ready for the test
Dean’s been awake for a while when Sam’s labored breathing and thrashing limbs finally pull him from the nightmare they both know he’s having. For a moment, all he can hear is Sam’s pointed gasping directed at the ceiling. In this dark, anything could be there and they wouldn’t be able to tell. Dean likes it that way. He thinks Sam does too.
“Do you think she loved me?” Sam asks breathlessly.
Dean thinks of that week away from Stanford, with Sam in the passenger’s seat again, murmuring mindlessly along to Aerosmith. How he woke earlier than Dean and turned on all the lights while padding around the room, going through a half-awake routine of brushing his teeth and pulling clothes on. The way his eyes shone and the corners of his lips pulled up when he folded open his wallet to tip the diner waitress. That easy smile that Dean’s memory had almost forgotten, like a polaroid dulled and tattered at the edges, now back in vivid technicolor.
“Yeah,” he whispers back, voice hoarse from the tightness in his chest. It sounds rough in the quiet of morning, like someone's been rubbing sandpaper against his lungs. Like the words have been cutting up his throat where Dean's been holding them hostage.
“How can you be so sure?” Sam’s voice comes back from across the divide, so empty and unknowing. As if he can’t fathom how someone could possibly love him, just little ol’ Sammy. Dean wants to reach across the space between them, thrust his thumb onto the pulse there, hold Sam’s hand until he just sees, but even he can’t span four years of running in opposite directions. The gap between their beds has never seemed wider, not even when Dean used to still order two queens knowing that the other would never be used.
In the safety of the darkness he wants to say some sentimental shit like ‘ you have mom’s eyes’ or ‘ kinda hard not to with that laugh.’ He bites his tongue until the pain is a sharp reminder in the dull, soundless room. He's been quiet too long. The blood is bitter behind his lips. It reminds him that Sam’s would taste exactly the same.
“You’re you,” is what he says instead, and immediately regrets it, knows he said too much. The words were sharp in this paper-thin silence, slicing it open until all Dean can taste is blood, blood, blood. Sam stays quiet on the other bed, on the other side of the world from him. Dean can still hear his breathing, and knows he’s not asleep.
Does anyone else believe that women see Sam and just kinda go hot damn
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A
Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
A Death in the Family by James Agee
Money by Martin Amis
Lucky Jim by Kingsley Amis
Dreamless By Josephine Angelini
Goddess By Josephine Angelini
Starcrossed By Josephine Angelini
Thirteen Reasons Why By Jay Asher
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
The Blind Assassin, Margaret Atwood
Pride And Prejudice By Jane Austen
Mansfield Park By Jane Austen
Emma By Jane Austen
Persuasion By Jane Austen
Sense and Sensibility By Jane Austen
B
Go Tell It on the Mountain by James Baldwin
The Sot-Weed Factor by John Barth
Tithe By Holly Black
Valiant By Holly Black
Ironside By Holly Black
Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
Otherwise Known As Sheila The Great, Judy Blume
The Death of the Heart by Elizabeth Bowen
The Sheltering Sky by Paul Bowles
The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley
A Great And Terrible Beauty By Libba Bray
Rebel Angels By Libba Bray
The Sweet Far Thing By Libba Bray
Jane Eyre By Charlotte Bronte
Wuthering Heights By Emily Bronte
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee, Dee Brown
The Night Torn Mad With Footsteps, Charles Bukowski
A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs
Possession by A.S. Byatt
C
Ender’s Game By Scott Orson Card
The Elite By Kiera Cass
The Prince By Kiera Cass
The Selection By Kiera Cass
Death Comes for the Archbishop by Willa Cather
The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler
The Perks of Being A Wallflower By Stephen Chbosky
Falconer by John Cheever
City Of Bones By Cassandra Clare
City Of Ashes By Cassandra Clare
City Of Glass By Cassandra Clare
City Of Fallen Angels By Cassandra Clare
City Of Lost Souls By Cassandra Clare
Clockwork Angel By Cassandra Clare
Clockwork Prince By Cassandra Clare
Clockwork Princess By Cassandra Clare
The Hunger Games By Suzanne Collins
Catching Fire By Suzanne Collins
Mockingjay By Suzanne Collins
The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly
Skins By Ali Cronin
Breathe By Sarah Crossan
Complete Poems, (1904-1962), E.E. Cummings
The Hours, Michael Cunningham
D
House of Leaves, Mark Danielewski
The Death Cure By James Dashner
The Maze Runner By James Dashner
The Scorch Trials By James Dashner
White Noise by Don DeLillo
The Body Finder By Kimberly Derting
Desires of Dead By Kimberly Derting
The Last Echo By Kimberly Derting
Dead Silence By Kimberly Derting
The Pledge By Kimberly Derting
Ubik by Philip K. Dick
Deliverance by James Dickey
Play It As It Lays By Joan Didion
Salvador By Joan Didion
The Last Thing He Wanted By Joan Didion
The Year Of Magical Thinking By Joan Didion
Blue Nights By Joan Didion
Run River By Joan Didion
Ragtime by E.L. Doctorow
Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Before I Die, Jenny Downham
An American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser
E
Angel Fall By Susan EE
How We are Hungry, Dave Eggers
You Shall Know Our Velocity By Dave Eggers
The Wild Things, Dave Eggers
Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
The Round House, Louise Erdrich
Four Souls, Louise Erdrich
Like Water for Chocolate, Laura Esquivel
The Virgin Suicides By Jeffrey Eugenides
Middlesex By Jeffrey Eugenides
F
Light in August by William Faulkner
The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner
White Oleander By Janet Fitch
The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald
Hush Hush By Becca Fitzpatrick
Crescendo By Becca Fitzpatrick
Finale By Becca Fitzpatrick
Silence By Becca Fitzpatrick
The Sportswriter by Richard Ford
A Passage to India by E.M. Forster
Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace
The French Lieutenant’s Woman by John Fowles
The Diary of a Young Girl, Anne Frank
The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen
Inkheart By Cornelia Funke
Inkspell By Cornelia Funke
Inkdeath By Cornelia Funke
G
The Recognitions by William Gaddis
American Gods, Neil Gaiman
Beautiful Chaos By Kami Garcia
Beautiful Creatures By Kami Garcia
Beautiful Darkness By Kami Garcia
Beautiful Redemption By Kami Garcia
Ruby Red By Kerstin Gier
Sapphire Blue By Kerstin Gier
Emerald Green By Kerstin Gier
Neuromancer by William Gibson
Memoirs of A Geisha By Arthur Golden
Lord Of The Flies By William Golding
I, Claudius by Robert Graves
Looking For Alaska By John Green
The Fault In Our Stars By John Green
Will Grayson, Will Grayson By John Green
Loving by Henry Green
The Power and the Glory by Graham Greene
The Heart of the Matter by Graham Greene
H
Red Harvest by Dashiell Hammett
Boundless By Cynthia Hand
Hallowed By Cynthia Hand
Unearthly By Cynthia Hand
Radiant By Cynthia Hand
Why We Broke Up, Daniel Handler
Adverbs, Daniel Handler
Watch Your Mouth, Daniel Handler
The Basic Eight, Daniel Handler
Tess of the D’Urbervilles, Thomas Hardy
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
A Farewell to Arms, Ernest Hemingway
The Garden Of Eden, Ernest Hemingway
Men Without Women, Ernest Hemingway
Across The River And Into The Trees, Ernest Hemingway
The Old Man And The Sea, Ernest Hemingway
The Sun Also Rises, Ernest Hemingway
Dune, Frank Herbert
Siddhartha by Herman Hesse
The Outsiders By S.E Hinton
The River King, Alice Hoffman
A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
Les Misérables by Victor Hugo
Awake At Dawn By C.C Hunter
Born At Midnight By C.C. Hunter
Chosen At Nightfall By C.C. Hunter
Taken At Dusk By C.C. Hunter
Whispers At Moonrise By C.C. Hunter
Saved At Sunrise By C.C. Hunter
Turned At Dark By C.C. Hunter
I
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
K
Fallen By Lauren Kate
Torment By Lauren Kate
Passion By Lauren Kate
Rapture By Lauren Kate
On the Road, Jack Kerouac
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey
The Painted Bird by Jerzy Kosiński
The Unbearable Lightness of Being, Milan Kundera
L
Daughter Of Smoke And Bone By Taylor Laini
Days Of Blood And Starlight By Taylor Laini
In the Garden of Beasts, Erik Larson
To Kill A Mockingbird, Harper Lee
The Phantom of the Opera By Gaston Leroux
The Magician’s Nephew By C.S. Lewis
The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe By C.S. Lewis
The Horse And His Boy By C.S. Lewis
Prince Caspian By C.S. Lewis
The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader By C.S. Lewis
The Silver Chair By C.S. Lewis
The Last Battle By C.S. Lewis
The Lover’s Dictionary, David Levithan
The Giver by Lois Lowry
Gathering Blue By Lois Lowry
Messenger By Lois Lowry
Under the Volcano by Malcolm Lowry
Legend By Marie Lu
Prodigy By Marie Lu
Life Before Legend By Marie Lu
M
Shatter Me By Tahereh Mafi
Unravel Me By Tahereh Mafi
Wicked, Gregory Maguire
Wicked Lovely By Melissa Marr
Ink Exchange By Melissa Marr
Fragile Eternity By Melissa Marr
A Game Of Thrones By George R. R. Martin
A Clash Of Kings By George R. R. Martin
A Storm Of Swords By George R. R. Martin
A Feast For Crows By George R. R. Martin
A Dance With Dragons By George R. R. Martin
One Hundred Years of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud
Sweet Tooth By Ian McEwan
Atonement, Ian McEwan
Blood Promise By Richelle Mead
Frostbite By Richelle Mead
Last Sacrifice By Richelle Mead
Spirit Bound By Richelle Mead
The Indigo Spell By Richelle Mead
Vampire Academy By Richelle Mead
The Golden Lily By Richelle Mead
Shadow Kiss By Richelle Mead
Bloodlines By Richelle Mead
Twilight By Stephenie Meyer
New Moon By Stephenie Meyer
Eclipse By Stephenie Meyer
Breaking Dawn By Stephenie Meyer
The Host By Stephenie Meyer
Fugitive Pieces, Anne Michaels
The Winter Fault, Anne Michaels
Watchmen by Alan Moore
Beloved, Toni Morrison
Kafka on the Shore, Haruki Murakami
N
"Lolita" by Vladimir Nabokov
"The Original of Laura" by Vladimir Nabokov
"Laughter in the Dark" by Vladimir Nabokov
"A Nursery Tale" by Vladimir Nabokov
Speak, Memory, Vladimir Nabokov
Delta of Venus, Anais Nin
House of Incest, Anais Nin
O
Delirium By Lauren Oliver
Pandemonium By Lauren Oliver
Requiem By Lauren Oliver
The English Patient, Michael Ondaatje
Divisadero, Michael Ondaatje
1984 By George Orwell
Animal Farm by George Orwell
P
Eragon By Christopher Paolini
Eldest By Christopher Paolini
Brisingr By Christopher Paolini
Inheritence By Christopher Paolini
Bel Canto By Ann Patchett
State of Wonder, Ann Patchett
The Bell Jar By Sylvia Plath
The Unabridged Journals of Slvyia Plath
Ariel By Sylvia Plath
The Collected Poems Of Sylvia Plath
The Symposium, Plato
The Light-House By Edgar Allen Poe
R
Wide Sargasso Sea, Jean Rhys
The Lightning Thief By Rick Riordan
The Sea Of Monsters By Rick Riordan
The Titan’s Curse By Rick Riordan
The Battle of the Labyrinth By Rick Riordan
The Last Olympian By Rick Riordan
Divergent By Veronica Roth
Insurgent By Veronica Roth
The Sorcerer’s Stone By J.K. Rowling
The Chamber Of Secrets By J.K. Rowling
The Prisoner Of Azkaban By J.K. Rowling
The Goblet Of Fire By J.K. Rowling
The Order of the Phoenix By J.K. Rowling
The Half Blood Prince By J.K. Rowling
The Deathly Hallows By J.K. Rowling
The God of Small Things By Arundhati Roy
S
Cosmos, Carl Sagan
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Reader, Bernard Schlink
The Lovely Bones By Alice Sebold
Lucky By Alice Sebold
The Almost Moon, Alice Sebold
The Art of Hearing Heartbeats, Jan-Phillip Sendker
Schaduwliefde,
Ruta Sepetys
The Complete Poems, Anne Sexton
Frankenstein By Mary Shelley
White Teeth, Zadie Smith
The Bad Beginning By Lemony Snicket
The Reptile Room By Lemony Snicket
The Wide Window By Lemony Snicket
The Miserable Mill By Lemony Snicket
The Austere Academy By Lemony Snicket
The Ersatz Elevator By Lemony Snicket
The Vile Village By Lemony Snicket
The Hostile Hospital By Lemony Snicket
The Carnivorous Carnival By Lemony Snicket
The Slippery Slope By Lemony Snicket
The Grim Grotto By Lemony Snicket
The Penultimate Peril By Lemony Snicket
The End By Lemony Snicket
The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
Shiver By Maggie Stiefvater
Linger By Maggie Stiefvater
Forever By Maggie Stiefvater
T
"The Sleeping Beauty" by Elizabeth Taylor
Fellowship of the Ring By J.R. R. Tolkien
The Two Towers By J.R. R. Tolkien
Return of the King By J.R. R. Tolkien
The Hobbit (or There and Back Again) By J.R. R. Tolkien
The Silmarillion By J.R. R. Tolkien
War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy
V
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
W
The World Without Us, Alan Weisman
Uglies By Scott Westerfeld
Pretties By Scott Westerfeld
Specials By Scott Westerfeld
Extras By Scott Westerfeld
The House of Mirth, Edith Wharton
The Once and Future King by T.H. White
Night, Elie Wiesel
The Picture of Dorian Gray By Oscar Wilde
Written on the Body By Jeanette Winterson
Sexing the Cherry, Jeanette Winterson
Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit By Jeanette Winterson
Lighthousekeeping, Jeanette Winterson
The Passion, Jeanette Winterson
Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf
Z
The Book Thief By Markus Zusak
I Am The Messenger By Markus Zusak
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the dubious philosophy of salmon
if your blog doesn’t have room for baby Jensen holding a puppy you’re doing it wrong.
breath in for 4 seconds
hold your breath for 7 seconds
exhale breath for 8 seconds
repeat once or twice more.
This causes an autonomic nervous system shift from a sympathetic (fight or flight reaction) state to a parasympathetic response.
Use this for panic/anxiety attacks, exams, presentations.