I’m Going To Crash Out Omfg

Everything is so wack

Like I don’t feel anything really it happens all the time

it’s so horrible

if I feel I feel horrible

and gross

and fat

and ugly

I need to die

I need to throw up

I need to feel

I eat to feel just to throw up to feel

Never thought there’d be a day in cussing at my phone because it’s showing me skinny fuckin girls eating all these desserts and talking about how good they are

FUCK YOU LET ME FAST IN PIECE WITHOUT A REMINDER OF WHAT I CANT HAVE

"you are not even fat"

BUT I'M NOT SKINNY

I feel so horrible throwing out food that was made/bought for me

I don’t want to fucking eat it but I feel like such a bad person for doing it

like oh my god just started sobbing and smashed a sandwich my mom made me

I want to be so fucking thin that I don’t even look real

like fucking art dude

Ryan Ross is my favorite thinspo

Bulimia wins and now my makeup is fucked up

still have two and a half hours of school left

KMS

Tried recovery and realized how much I missed my ED

it’s just so much more fun being dizzy and feeling empty rather then having the weight of food :P

Main downside is I gained like ten pounds sense I’ve been eating normally well more like eating more then I should

I wish there was a in between my EDs like I don’t want to binge when I try to eat normally

I’d rather just starve then eat a million things

I wish fictional characters were real

Just threw my guts up and I lost weight^^

two days ago I was 194 now I’m 188

best day ever

still a lot but like during last summer I bindgee so much I went from 176-210 and it just got worse until January my ass locked back in

so sense January I’ve gone from 215-188 and I lost most of it in April!! Like beginning of April I was 204 now I’m here

IM SO HAPPY

I’m getting close to my first gw of 170