I Mean I Could Just Drink Another One But Because I Had This One On An Empty Stomach And The Weird Adrenaline

just watched an american werewolf in London, and I think I need to rethink my life and touch grass because what the fuck did I just watch??

"I enjoy getting presents from strange men." Horror Character Appreciation - Lesley Ann Warren as Miss Scarlet in Clue (1985) dir. Jonathan Lynn

You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison

while retaking the year I'm taking a new subject (because one of the one I had last year was HORRIBLE for me), so basically I'm taking biology (but like it's harder because it's a specialty thing, anyway not the time to explain french school system)

the thing is in 10th grade I didn't study my biology at all because I didn't care, but I'll need the knowledge now. So I took my 10th grade lesson and now I've to study :(

i just shotgun a monster energy and okay that's actually kinda fun (weird way to give dopamine) BUT it also is frustrating because I love drinking my monster and all but in this case it's over in like 30sec :(

IK IT'S THE GOAL BUT STILL

okay so there's my favorite french book (it's kinda cliché gang romance lmao) that I read back when it was on wattpad (it's The Devil's Sons by Chloe Wallerand), now it's a published book!!!

and the song 'bloodline' by Alex Warren made me think of it again!!

"the devil's sons" follow Avalone and basically she gonna end up joining a norse pagan gang (the author of the book is pagan!!) and it's really found family and everything and i remember loving it so much!!!

it's a serie and i remember that on one of the later book we see my favorite character for the first time and the fact is, the book saved my life

Now I'm just thinking about the fact that I need to find the physical books one day as a way to give my 15yo self what they wanted, and to honor the fact that fuck I'm alive ??

Anyway I'm getting so nostalgic over this books like i don't even know if they were that good; but I miss my family you know?

the way im genuinely thinking about just not going to the 2 next days of exams, but I know I'll regret not going more than going like I don't have the energy to study for them, or to do them, but i prefer burning myself out, than not trying

im just so tired

it's 3am and I'm exhausted, i should so make pizza

I've exams on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday (May 26th-28th)

and then in mid June (13th) and early July (2nd)

Monday is just one but it's a presentation at 8:30am and I'm not ready at all for it

Tuesday is 3 exams, there's the english exam that's gonna be easy, there's history/geography and well I'm not ready, and physic/chemestry/biology/maths this one I think I can do fine

Wednesday is spanish and philosophy and this one is gonna just be the death of me because I don't know ANYTHING at all about it and my spanish got bad after not using it for 2 years

Anyway I don't know how im supposed to go about that

never realized how much internalized transphobia I've until I started thinking that I may be transmasc and not just genderfluid

that's so weird to be honest, the way being genderfluid is kind of, a 'safety' for me, I'm scared to accept that im transmac, and I'm scared of everything it'd change?