While Retaking The Year I'm Taking A New Subject (because One Of The One I Had Last Year Was HORRIBLE

I have so much crap to do but all I want to do is draw sambucky and read ao3 fics

I hate life lmfao

I've exams on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday (May 26th-28th)

and then in mid June (13th) and early July (2nd)

Monday is just one but it's a presentation at 8:30am and I'm not ready at all for it

Tuesday is 3 exams, there's the english exam that's gonna be easy, there's history/geography and well I'm not ready, and physic/chemestry/biology/maths this one I think I can do fine

Wednesday is spanish and philosophy and this one is gonna just be the death of me because I don't know ANYTHING at all about it and my spanish got bad after not using it for 2 years

Anyway I don't know how im supposed to go about that

hii introduction introduction introduction

Okay so you guys can call me Blue !!

I use any pronouns but im mainly stuck on he/they at the moment

I'm 17yo (I'll be 18 in 5 months)

I'm in 11th grade (I took 10th grade two times, and I'm retaking 11th grade, thanks my mental health)

I'm kinda awkward so I'm sorry if my way of speaking can be weird, i just overthink words like A LOT so

I've a lot of interest, they come and go and it's like A LOT (list under the cut)

Some of my interest are:

music (can go from kpop, to emo, to pop, to metal, litteraly everything, just goes by phases) (rn its mainly mcr, twenty one pilots, p!atd, all the stuff i used to obsessed over basically)

marvel (especially fanon and comics, i dont really fuck with where the mcu is going)

the 80s till the mid 2000s

history, religion, humanities in general

languages!! i love learning languages

creating and personalizing!!! i love it so much i can't stand to own things and them to not be mine

fast and furious (a weird obsession of mine, i am obsessed with the 2nd and 5th movie, suki is the love of my life and i survive for found family)

L'etranger by Albert Camus

Cartoons and animation (mainly paw patrol, but i love every animations so much)

queer content and queer history!!!!!!!

my letterboxd

I was supposed to see my bestfriend and our friend tomorrow and I was so so happy about it BUT THEN I GET SICK, A FEVER???

so yeah I can't go because their exams are soon and we were gonna go shopping for their prom and all

I'm so sad now

i mean I know I said no at many different stuff and all but because I said no once it doesn't mean no for everything?? especially over 3 years???

I've to walk 45min downtown when they have time and want to see me, but when I ask if they want to come to my house one time to watch a movie they 'don't feel comfy, don't like my house' while they never came??

When they were alone for Halloween and I forced myself to go there even if i was exhausted and go at their house even if i was so anxious I thought I was gonna faint??

Why does it always feels like I'm the one doing most of the friendship....

realizing how many times my bestfriend failed to invite me to stuff because 'I forgot to tell you' 'I didn't think you'd want to come' or just not even realizing that I'm sad they didn't invite me even if I tell them makes me think that maybe I'm the only one really caring at this point

IT'S JUNE MF

I want to smoke

I decide, vent season is over, now we make life whimsical and we are happy because AHHHHHH

"I enjoy getting presents from strange men." Horror Character Appreciation - Lesley Ann Warren as Miss Scarlet in Clue (1985) dir. Jonathan Lynn

Can't stop thinking about The Contract