Nellie Bertram

Unequal, Shattered, Abandoned

The United States is Big as FUCK. While not reaching the billions such as China or India, the US is the 3rd most populated country in the world being 25% larger than the next largest country (Indonesia) more than one and a half times the size of the 5th largest (Brazil) and two and a half times larger than the 10th most populated country (Mexico). (1) Unable to discuss US public libraries in their entirety and not an official determinant of success, I’ve looked at the libraries between the state with the highest life expectancy (Hawaii: 81.5), the average (North Dakota: 78.6) and the lowest (Mississippi: 74.5)

Not the best example, Hawaii only has one public library located on the island of Honolulu. This makes some sense as Hawaii is an island-based state with a smaller population; however, in comparison North Dakota only had 5 registered public library districts and Mississippi had 14. In this context, it would seem those who live longer either read less  or fared better without library access; but when compared to much larger states NY (132) and California (155) quantity of libraries is more determined on population than other things to some degree as Texas (97) and Florida (65) have less libraries than their population should. Regardless, library access is very much linked to community and wealth as rural communities and the poorer parts of urban communities having little or no access. (2)

In a country of such prosperity, equal access and opportunity should be considered and implemented at a Federal level and not center on the self-fulfilling prophecy of only those who can afford the best opportunities are able to provide the best opportunities and resources for themselves. An additional note of importance is that part of the official Library Servers website, there is “Books You Really Should Have Read” advertisement, of noteworthy books and how to get them on Amazon

(1)    https://www.census.gov/popclock/

(2)    http://www.lib-web.org/united-states/public-libraries/

Libraries

I love libraries, I always have. The insurmountable access to books and all the information they contain and may provide, always makes my heart completely burst (especially the reference sections that discuss religion, culture, and historical past times). 

Here is Trinity college, a famous library. Most people don't appreciate their local library as much as they fawn over this one thou. My local library, the library I grew up with, that’s the one that just makes me happy and comfortable, just thinking about it as I am now. 

Whether it’s those little boxes on a yard where people can exchange books for free, a large historic university library inside an old castle or cathedral where some King once studied, or your modern library down the street that lets you take out electronic books: love your local library! GO to your local library! There are movies, there is music, there are boos, there are sessions about plays and scientific questions and just so much can be done at libraries. 

Think of a library as the Wood Between the Worlds, every book can take you to an entirely different place, and you won’t feel so bored, or lonely. Love your local library, be loving to your local library

Books for ourselves

It is important to remember that books are not always about just telling a story. Books can show us how others live--whether they be Stormtroopers, drug addicts, slaves or someone that has another different story from all the ones that are different from us. 

Yes, we learn about people from their stories, but it doesn’t have to stop there. In understanding one’s life and one’s struggles--we can choose to act, we can choose to push forward, we can choose to help, we can choose to learn more. 

In 15 days it’s Halloween, in 16 days it’s a day of really cheap candy and chocolate, and in 21 days you have the power to vote and make the world how you think it should be. But I hope that’s not your one day of using your voice, your power and the power of listening to someone else’s story. You may not have the best or easiest life, everyone struggles but “a rising tide lifts all boats”--be that tide, raise the condition for everyone

Best Pranks

1. Season Six, Episode Twenty-Four: The Cover-Up

When Pam and Jim learn Morse Code to not only speak about Dwight infront of him, but with the stapler and pens also can make up crazy stories and conspiracies that Dwight’s brain is “forced” to listen to.

2. Season Three, Episode Seventeen: Cocktails

When Karen spends the evening at the Corporate party apologizing to Jim for ALL the coworkers she dated before him

3. Season Six, Episode Twenty-Four: The Cover-Up

When Darryl pranks himself trying to get Andy back for blaming the warehouse for a late shipment he forgot to process, he ends up getting involved in the fire-printer expose with Andy.

4. Season Three, Episode Seven: Branch Closing

When Jim uses set of Dwight’s stationery that he uses

“From time to time, I send Dwight Faxes. From himself. From the future

PS—Also mentioned in Season Nine, Episode Twenty-Two: AARM when he references that as part of their no nonsense streak that if anyone is expecting a fax they shouldn’t yell out “Michael J Fax, from Fax to the Future!”

5. Season Nine, Episode Three: Andy’s Ancestry

Asian Jim

6. Season Seven, Episode Twelve: Classy Christmas Part 2

Jim coming out into the parking lot with Pam after the ‘Classy Christmas Party’ with Pam and it’s covered in snowmen and he doesn’t know which one has Dwight or anyone else to attack him with snowballs. It’s awful, but it’s brilliant

7. Season Six, Episode Seven: The Lover

The Mallard

How Jim discovers the Mallard (possibly purposefully by Dwight)

How Jim blasts Opera and talks with Andy to mess with Dwight

How Jim gives the Mallard to Kelly

How Jim talks to Dwight directly through the Mallard to ‘catch’ Dwight (also probably purposefully done by Dwight)

But in the end, the Mallard was a decoy

8. Season Three, Episode One: Gay Witch Hunt

When Jim sends Dwight “Gaydar” machine (metal detector) and it lights up when Dwight scans Oscar because of his belt. But Dwight is also wearing a belt so “Gaydar” tells him he’s gay too.

9. Season Seven, Episode Eight: Viewing Party

When Michael runs around the office pretending to be too busy to even speak to Erin, let alone attend her party.

10. Season Seven, Episode Eighteen: Todd Packer

After Dwight blows off Jim’s idea of cramming Todd Packer’s desk so he can only open it two inches and Dwight makes fun of it, Dwight gets very frustrated when Jim, unknowingly at the time, does it to him.

Bonus: The Best Prank we didn’t see:

Dwight knocking himself in the head with his phone, after Jim slowly fills his headset with more and more nickels. 

I’m happy for her an all, but notably sad for myself. I gasped when I saw this on the News. Love her, holding it in for her Netflix stuff. 

BREAKING: Leslie Jones will not be returning for SNL’s 45th season

Today we, a we of those meeting up in 842 cities around the world, gather to march as promised by the leaders of March for Our Lives announced back on February 18th. We March with them as they ask for simple, common sense gun measures: banning AR-15s, 3-day waiting periods, and universal background checks.

We March with them because thoughts and prayers don’t work for those in their last moments as they are gunned down by old partners, by strangers, by officers or by accident; and it doesn’t work for us after.

Others with guns should not infringe on our right to move forward, our want to express equality, and our loved ones desires for us to see another day

Today We March because they should never have had to, because we want to show what true power is and that change is coming; because they outnumber us, and they know it

Be safe everyone

PS–> these victims are survivors who are still processing, these children who weren’t even born when Columbine happened, these youth who are rising above the hate and rhetoric, these students who are learning as they go and are going to win

Best Company moments

1. Season Seven, Episode Two: Counseling

When they all support and try to help Dwight with the mall fiasco even before they knew what happened. After first storming in and demanding everyone “Boycott the Steamtown Mall” and then again when help him prepare to Pretty Woman the salesclerk (per Kelly’s suggestion).

Kelly “You shirt and tie are disgusto-barfo”

Oscar “Maybe not so monochromatic, not so matching”

Ryan, Kelly, Pam and then Ryan again “The glasses are a little….I liked them…I thought they were kinda cute…yeah I liked them too”

Darryl "Say Stuff like ‘good morning, good afternoon. People appreciate that’” Darryl

Andy “If someone offers you a cocktail, accept, but keeps your wits about you” Andy

Angela “Please and Thank you go a long way”

2. Season Seven, Episode Twenty-Two: Goodbye Michael

When they all sing Rent, and calculated the actual minutes (9,986,000)  that he had been at the company

3. Season Five, Episode Fourteen: Stress Relief Part 1

When, more than those you’d expect, began dancing to them singing ‘staying alive’ to know when to pump for CPR. First Andy joining in singing, then Kelly dancing, Phyllis and Creed bopping their heads, then Michael stops with the CPR and gets up to also dance as does Andy later dancing with the instructor and even Meredith and Dwight bopping their heads as well.

4. Season Eight, Episode Five: Garden Party

When they all come together to cheer Andy up after the Garden party; even to where they ignore him as he tries to leave and apologize with Darryl asking him he wants a “Cheeseburger or Hamburger” and Oscar calling him “Nard-dog” before tossing him a beer.

5. Season Seven, Episode Seven: Christening

When they all shit on the churchgoers at the Christening; they are their own type of family

Ryan “Teach for America girls are way hotter—but their nuts”

Phyliis “Who takes a kid to Mexico”

Stanley” I would run to Mexico if that’s where the sandwiches are”

Dwight “You wanna know my 11th Commandment, I will not be undersold”

Andy “What if the Moon was your car and Jupiter was your hairbrush”

Ending with half-assed claps and Ryan playing with his cup

6. Season Six, Episode Fifteen: Sabre

When they work together to repackage the Sabre box

7. Season Seven, Episode Nine: WUPHF.com

When they figured out the server password first thinking of things topical for when it was set, IT guys, and then that it made Michael laugh when he heard it, but Pam got offended.

8. Season Seven, Episode Six: Costume Contest

“Is there no limit to what Stanley won’t notice?”

Jim’s OJ wasn’t his hot coffee

Kevin dressed up as Phyllis

Andy naked except for his tie

The computer monitor being replaced by a cardboard box with a picture on it

Michael with fake teeth

The conference meeting having everyone but him sitting backwards and the meeting talking about the projections on Jupiter

Pam with a mustache

and Dwight with a pony

 Except—he notices the clock is slow and it’s after 5pm

9. Season Nine, Episode Eight: The Target

When Pete, Kevin, Erin, Meredith, Creed, Nellie and Darryl all work together to build the complaint tower and support Pam getting a complaint

10. Season Nine, Episode Eighteen: Promos

When they realize the camera crew followed them more than they realized, and all looked at the camera simultaneously

Snarkiest Lines

1. Season Two, Episode Ten: Christmas Party (Ryan)

“What line of work are you in, Bob?”

2. Season Three, Episode Eleven: Back from Vacation (Angela)

“Did you try the petting zoo?”

3. Season Three, Episode Twenty-Three: The Job (Stanley)

“The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.”

4. Season Two, Episode Six: The Fight (Pam)

“Could you practice on the forms?”

5. Season Six, Episode Three: The Promotion (Oscar)

“Where would Catholicism be without the Popes?”

6. Season Six, Episode Five: Mafia (Dwight)

"That’s why they call it Murder, not Muckduck”

7. Season Four, Episode One: Fun Run (Jim)

“One day Michael came in complaining about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then”.

8. Season Three, Episode One: Gay Witch Hunt (Stanley)

“I got them a toaster. They called off the wedding and gave the toaster back to me. I tried to return the toaster to the store, and they said they no longer sold that kind of toaster. So now my house has got two toasters”.

9. Season Five, Episode Four: Baby Shower (Dwight)

"Jan had the baby, and Michael wasn’t there to mark it. So the baby could be anybody’s. Except Michael’s”.

10. Season Two, Episode One: The Dundies (Pam)

“You know what they say about a car wreck, where it’s so awful you can’t look away? The Dundies are like a car wreck that, you wanna look away, but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you”

How can I learn this power?

Closed

Ahhhhh! As someone who loves a local library and rare bookstores, getting up early in the morning to get to the next book in a series, or because a book you’ve been waiting for has come in or just  thinking you want to reread a favorite you don’t own and then you see the “uh-oh” group of patrons who also forgot a schedule change, random holiday, short day the library is closed group is crushing. 

I’ll never get over that feeling. I ended up looking forward to the summer being over because that’s when the library had better hours.