Knightsheln - [insert Text Here]

You know those posts about one of Bruce’s kids getting kidnapped and him having no idea which kid they have based on the vague descriptions he’s given? Well now I can’t only imagine Bruce getting the dreaded call and immediately pulling out a guess who board filled entirely with his kids. Like

kidnapper: we have one of your children

Bruce: I have so many of those you need to be more specific

kidnapper: the loud and annoying one

Bruce, flipping down Cass and Duke: that does not help as much as you think it does

kidnapper: well he has black hair?

Bruce, flips down Steph: keep going

kidnapper: uhhhh? He’s short?

Bruce, flips down Dick and Jason leaving Tim and Damian: more specific

kidnapper: he’s been condescending and judgmental since we got him

Bruce: yeah they both tend to do that

kidnapper: he keeps throwing around words I don’t understand

Bruce, realizing that Damian and Tim are significantly more similar than he thought: uhh more specific?

kidnapper: more?? look just wore us the mon— WHERE’D HE HIDE A KATANA???

Bruce: ah you have Damian

Gripping him tight or something like that

Ref

accidentally ate god's primordial beasts

like I have to respect it. of course the week It Happens I get my period and have a Big Social Event mo-fri. how else could it go.

Oliver listening to the Smith Sisters narrate the Wanna Go for the Title scene

buck eddie and ravi at a bar (hen and chim went home to their wives like an HOUR ago) and buck is yapping to eddie all night and ravi is like "oh my god buck is in love with eddie when will this nightmare end" and then buck is like "okay one second eddie i'm going to get a refresh on the drinks" with the biggest widest smile on his face and ravi goes "oh thank fuck a break from evan 'pathetic for his man' buckley" but oh ho ho...

as soon as buck is out of earshot eddie goes "oh my god he's so great isn't he he just brightnens every room hes in i think he's so neat i could listen to him for hours" and ravi is just like FUCK THERES ANOTHER ONE (boss music) EDDIE 'HEART EYES FOR MY MAN' DIAZ APPROACHES

i think ravi just puts his head on the table. when he asks hen (the next time their at work) like "hey when are they gonna get their shit together" hen just deadpan goes "do you want to put a bet in the buddie betting pool" and ravi is like "THE FUCKING WHAT" and she goes "it's been going since before you did your probie days" and ravi goes "...... oh my god those loser idots" and chim chimes in from the couch going "OUR loser idots, tho"

Metgala had passed once again, and I can't stop thinking about how badly the Batsiblings would judge every look they see. Bruce Wayne taught them to style themselves and be dolls, NOT for this.

Dick, throwing chips in TV: Go, Kylie, go! Give us nothing!

Tim: As the most fashionable sibling out of all of us, I can't stress enough how this pains me.

Stephanie: Be fr, Cass is the most fashionable one, lol.

Damian: Not to appear as Drake's supporter, but Brown, I know that you are not joining us to judge this humiliation ritual, when you wear violet converses with yellow capri pants.

Duke: This year's topic, and the way they handle it, offend me personally. Like. Please. Cassandra, nodding: You would... Slay. Jason: God, I will slay these idiots with my sword, WHAT IS THIS? Another black suit?!

Everyone: *dead silence for a whole minute* Dick, swallowing: That is surely not what I think it is. Jason: I am starting to shoot in a minute. Tim, closing his eyes: I am speechless. Bruce Wayne on their screens, who was invited to the Metgala, but was suggested by the PR-team to wear the most boring outfit, so people would still perceive him as a bimbo with no thoughts behind his big blue eyes: *waving at the camera* Stephanie, scrolling her phone: Oh, that's not a thirst trap edits with this look on my timeline that I see. Everyone: *terrified screech*

A very normal day at the Watchtower

Clark : B, I want you to fuck me six ways to Sunday till I can't walk straight.

Bruce :

Clark :

Bruce :

The JL :

Diana : *surreptitiously removing the end of her lasso from where she had dropped it on Superman's lap*

Clark : *turning twelve shades of red and slapping a hand to his mouth*

Bruce : How does eight tonight sound?

Clark : *turning another twelve shades darker*

The JL : *quietly exchanging money underneath the table*

Diana : *evil grin and a thumbs up*

Random BatFam (reference: Leverage, Season 3)

HAPPY BUDDIE CANON DAY