Can We Just Talk About This Lovely Relationship That Is YOONSEOK.

I don't think you understand when I say you broke my heart. No, no, no. You took a hammer to my heart and ground it into dust, until the only thing left was for the wind to blow it away. I don't believe in love anymore. There's no truth in that statement. "I loved a boy who didn't love me back" sounds tragic. But "I loved a boy who pretended to love me back" is even worse. Tears were wasted on an empty corpse, walking through the streets, telling me I'm beautiful, that I'm funny, that any guy would be lucky to have me. You say you keep your distance from people, but I think it's more of the fact that you don't want to rely on anyone when you're in trouble. You don't want your heart to hurt when someone dies. You don't want your thoughts to race when you don't know where she is or if she's safe. You'd rather pretend that everything's okay and then wait for the explosion. But while debris is raining down and blood is staining your clothes and the only sounds you hear are screams and the ringing in your ears, you'll still be able to smile. Because you didn't give a fuck about the victim. "Victim? I didn't even know her name..."

Melissa Rose

109.2

9 pounds away from goal weight.

50 sit-ups just because I had a slice of cake today.

I hate myself.

SING IT SUGA SING IT😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

IM SORRY for not posting yesterday 😢

Today I attempted my very first fast. I made it to 21 hours! I'm very proud of myself! Tomorrow I'll try for the full 24 and progress from there 👍

Me without You

I cannot tell if the reason I now want to be skin and bones is because you left me. I cannot tell if that was the match hitting the strike or just some kindle to a roaring flame. Did I always feel this way? There are no words left, because you stole them all. You could have saved me an explanation, but I guess my tears were answer enough. I thought I would become a person, but I’m less now than I ever was. Just a pebble in an ocean, instead of a boulder in a pond. When you feel deep in your heart and soul that you do not matter, things start to not matter. Life does not matter. Your health does not matter. So while I try to see the inside of my skeleton, I hope she was worth it, while I sit here and die.

I think I realized the ending of my story ten years ago when I sat in my room and cried over a lost soul and was never comforted. When the pain in my body became physical along with mental. When my empathy took control but stepped back at every possible moment. Who's to say we lead our own lives? When twisting bones and shattered minds get treated as though something were right instead of wrong. When doctors don't take a second glance at your pain or your suffering.

Melissa Rose

I thought for a while that maybe I could not handle being hurt again. That maybe my shattered heart would crack just one more time. But when in my deepest throws of sorrow, I remember that there cannot possibly be anything worse than what I've already gone through. That life has handed me the shortest stick in the pile that you cannot even use it as a matchstick. But maybe I'm okay with that. Maybe I need to lose grasp of that stick and let it fly away in the wind, like the ashes of a loved one or a dandelion for a wish. Maybe when you stop defining your life by limitations you will see that there are endless possibilities.

Melissa Rose

Favourite moments ♥ // Let’s Dance: History

I think the hardest part is convincing yourself that you are not hungry. 

So I've been super super anxious lately. Started a new job, went back to school after summer break. And now I'm not eating. Less in a purposeful way, but more in a im not hungry and I don't know what to do about it way. I need help. But I have no idea what to do. I can't go to inpatient hospitalization because I'll probably lose my job. And I can't miss school. But everything is getting so difficult. And I'm so lost and so confused. If you have any advice, please share. I could really use it.