I Dont Consider Myself A 'fashion Guru' By Any Means But One Thing I Will Say Is Guys You Dont Need To

---

Daily "avoiding hopelessness" checklist

Hey, friends. I know I've been really struggling to look towards the future with any kind of hope, so here are some little things I've been trying to do every day that might help you, too.

Accept that your productivity might look weird right now. Don't expect yourself to act as if nothing is wrong.

Make art. I try to write something every day, even if I don't really feel like it, and I've found that once I get into it, I'm grateful I did.

Do something to plan for the future. Doesn't have to be big. Even getting some ice cream you know future you will thank you for counts.

Eat. Even if you're not hungry. I keep skipping meals because I don't feel like eating, and then I force myself to make something and realize I was absolutely starving.

Clean up one thing in your space. If doing all the dishes and sweeping the floors and putting away laundry all feel too overwhelming, try just doing one of those things.

Lean on your online and offline communities. I live in a county that voted trump by a margin of eighty percent. My world feels scary and hostile right now, and it's my communities that are helping me feel hopeful.

Try to find one thing that feels normal. One thing that feels safe and normal and helps you feel a bit more grounded. My local grocery store just got their shipment of chocolate oranges in for the season. That's my thing.

Try to find one thing to look forward to, no matter how small. My thing is checking my ao3 inbox for comments on my fics.

Love you all <3

---

Give-away shops

I’d like to tell you all the story of Jan’s give-away shop.

The story:

Jan was a guy who lived in my hometown. Financially speaking, he was well-off: he owned the house in which he lived alone, and had gathered a lot of stuff throughout the years.

One day, Jan realised all of this stuff wasn’t making him happy. He decided to move to a small apartment and to get rid of most of his possessions.

Jan also realised the privileged life he led: he owned much more than he needed, and was able to move on the fly just because he felt like it.

All of this made Jan decide to open up a give-away shop. He moved everything he didn’t need to his living room, simply opened up his front door, and told everyone they could come and pick up whatever they wanted for free.

His friends declared him an idiot: humans are selfish, they said, and would just take his valuables and sell everything they’d gotten from him. They were wrong. Sure, some people did this, but they were only a small part of those who came.

Those who had less than Jan (including yours truly) came by and found things they needed but had been postponing to buy because they couldn’t afford to. Others came to pick up things they could use for their charities, or for the classrooms they had to teach on a too low budget.

The biggest surprise was how Jan never ran out of things to give away: rather than taking things, a lot of people started donating items they didn’t need anymore!

Objects weren’t the only thing people donated: Jan quickly amassed a team of dedicated volunteers to run the shop for him whenever he was absent.

And that’s the story of how my town got its first give-away shop. Unfortunately, the shop doesn’t exist anymore: they closed down after about five years because Jan eventually had to sell his house.

His shop has left an important impact on my town: inspired by his shop, we now have a thriving freecycle community, town hall frequently hosts give-away markets (flee markets where everything’s free), and individuals have been putting up give-away cabinets, fridges, and libraries all over where people can leave their unused goods, leftover food, and unread books for others to enjoy.

The take-away:

Not all of us are as privileged as Jan: if we were, we wouldn’t have much need for projects like these. However, we can still learn from his story!

If you’ve got an unused cabinet lying around, why not turn it into your own give-away corner? If you work in event planning, maybe consider hosting a give-away market some time. Do you work at a library or a community centre? Those are the perfect spots to put a give-away library or a leftovers fridge: just make sure to keep an eye on anything food-related and to clean out expired goods when necessary.

Another popular variation on this idea are plant cuttings corners and seed banks. These are a great way to share native plants with fellow gardeners to improve the biodiversity in your neighbourhood.

If this post has inspired you, try petitioning your town for projects like these: they’re often welcomed because they don’t cost much to set up and can have a big positive impact on both your community and the environment.

(Image source) [ID: a small outdoors wooden construction with a see-through plastic roof containing a cupboard with toys, cookwares, and shoes, a hanging rail with clothes, a shelf with books, a bulletin board, and a box and a bag. The text “Give Box: sharing is caring” is painted at the top of the shed, and purple flowers and red hearts are painted on its sides.]

---

this is gonna sound like a shitpost but the best advice i have if youre consistently coming off wrong is to start talking like an elcor

you will feel like a dumdum at first, but once you get used to it youll realize that telling people what kind of thing you're about to say ahead of time flattens their anxiety a huge amount

ive been starting every question with "question:" for awhile now and i almost never get people reading too much into what i mean anymore

it seems super dumb, but "what are your plans tomorrow?" gets people asking me what i have planned despite me obviously being in the process of figuring that out, whereas "question: what are your plans tomorrow?" gets me a quick rundown of their schedule, followed by "why?"

it also makes it really easy to work tone indicators into your verbal speech. if you're always saying "question: [your question here]?" then no one blinks when you say "genuine question: [question that could read as sarcastic]?"

it also gets you out of your own way for any types of things you struggle to say. "can you make sure to do the dishes before you go to bed?" feels like an argument waiting to happen, but "request: can you make sure to do the dishes before you go to bed?" gets the words flowing on a neutral word while making it clear that you're not looking for a fight

so yeah. suggestion: talk like an elcor

---

I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?

HI darling,

I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:

Home

what the hell is a mortgage?

first apartment essentials checklist

how to care for cacti and succulents

the care and keeping of plants

Getting an apartment

Money

earn rewards by taking polls

how to coupon

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

how to save money

How to Balance a Check Book

How to do Your Own Taxes

Health

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

things to bring to a doctor’s appointment

how to get free therapy

what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment

how to make a doctor’s appointment

how to pick a health insurance plan

how to avoid a hangover

a list of stress relievers

how to remove a splinter

Emergency

what to do if you get pulled over by a cop

a list of hotlines in a crisis

things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Job

time management

create a resume

find the right career

how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters

Travel

ULTIMATE PACKING LIST

Traveling for Cheap

Travel Accessories

The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase

How To Read A Map

How to Apply For A Passport

How to Make A Travel Budget

Better You

read the news

leave your childhood traumas behind

how to quit smoking

how to knit

how to stop biting your nails

how to stop procrastinating

how to stop skipping breakfast

how to stop micromanaging

how to stop avoiding asking for help

how to stop swearing constantly

how to stop being a pushover

learn another language

how to improve your self-esteem

how to sew

learn how to embroider

how to love yourself

100 tips for life

Apartments/Houses/Moving

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)

How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)

Education

How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)

How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)

Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)

How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)

Finances

How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)

How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)

Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)

What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)

Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)

Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting

How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)

How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)

How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)

10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)

Life Skills

Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)

Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)

Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)

How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)

How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)

How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)

Miscellaneous

What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)

Relationships

Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)

How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple  and catastrofries)

Travel & Vehicles

How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)

How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)

Other Blog Features

Apps for Asshats

Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders

Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later

Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)

Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)

Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)

Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)

Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)

Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)

Adult Cheat Sheet:

what to do if your pet gets lost

removing stains from your carpet

how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps

throwing a dinner party

i’m pregnant, now what?

first aid tools to keep in your house

how to keep a clean kitchen

learning how to become independent from your parents

job interview tips

opening your first bank account

what to do if you lose your wallet

tips for cheap furniture

easy ways to cut your spending

selecting the right tires for your car

taking out your first loan

picking out the right credit card

how to get out of parking tickets

how to fix a leaky faucet

get all of your news in one place

getting rid of mice & rats in your house

when to go to the e.r.

buying your first home

how to buy your first stocks

guide to brewing coffee

first apartment essentials checklist

coping with a job you hate

30 books to read before you’re 30

what’s the deal with retirement?

difference between insurances

Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:

Reasons to move out of home

You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:

wishing to live independently

location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university

conflict with your parents

being asked to leave by your parents.

Issues to consider when moving out of home

It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:

Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.

Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.

Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.

Your parents may be worried

Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:

They may worry that you are not ready.

They may be sad because they will miss you.

They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.

They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.

Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.

Tips for a successful move

Tips include:

Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?

Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.

Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.

Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.

Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.

If your family home does not provide support

Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.

If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.

If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.

Where to get help

Your doctor

Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800

Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44

Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325

Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277

Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50

Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577

Things to remember

Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.

Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations. 

(source)

Keep me updated? xx

---

see the THING IS I don't feel like I ever worked hard enough to have "earned" the burnout, which is. probably how we got here.

---

What Can I Do For Climate?

[Pinned post]

1. Inform yourself

2. Become politically active

3. Transform your own life

4. Spread the word

———————–

1. Inform yourself - Reading up on climate can be very difficult because the news is so grim, and it can be very upsetting. I do most of my reading focused on possible solutions. I try to know the basics of the issue as well, but I am aware of not pushing my boundaries. Upsetting yourself is not the goal. Knowledge is the foundation that leads to the other steps.

2. Become politically active - Some options:

1) Volunteer for and/or donate to campaigns of candidates who will support climate legislation. As unexciting as it is to support politicians who keep on disappointing, and to wade into electoral politics in general, these are the folks who will actually vote on legislation. Just the effort of replacing any Republican with almost any Democrat is worth doing, even if it makes one sigh. (Sorry, this is going to be US-centric.) Volunteering can include canvassing, phone banking, writing letters, attending campaign rallies and events. Act locally, but if you’re not sure where to start, Swing Left tracks the most significant US races.

2) Go to protests. Showing up is one of the most significant things we can do.

3) Join a climate activism group, like Extinction Rebellion, the Sunrise Movement, Fridays for Future, and participate in their events. If there is nothing near you, there are some things you can participate in online. Check their websites. Other groups you can help: 350, Rainforest Action Network, NRDC, Stop Line 3, Oxfam, stand.earth, League of Conservation Voters…  Use these organizations to choose actions to take (from signing petitions to sending letters to politicians to becoming an organizer). They have many to choose from. You don’t have to re-invent the wheel.

4) Avoid burnout or guilt. Do what you can, when you can. It’s okay if you can’t. It’s not all on you.

3. Transform your own life - Transforming consumption habits among the world’s more-affluent is necessary to reduce emissions. Collectively, our impact on heating the climate is huge. (People who make $38,000 a year and up are the 10% who contribute 50% of global emissions.) Each individual effort to reduce is so tiny it’s insignificant, but it’s part of a bigger whole that needs to happen. But again, you can only do what you can, and the choices involved are complicated. It’s okay if you can’t. It’s not all on you. (The super-rich are the ones who really need to be doing this, because their contribution to GHG emissions goes hand-in-hand with their wealth.)

These are the most impactful actions, adapted from various sources. “If possible” is implied in all of these:

1) Live car-free. Walk, bike, use public transportation. If buying a car, buy electric or used, and drive less. (”Used” because the significant emissions of manufacturing a car can be avoided by driving an existing car.)

2) Take no more than one short flight every three years and one long flight every eight years.

3) Switch electricity provider to one that provides solar or wind energy. More challenging: also convert your house to using only electricity (no natural gas) and install a heat pump.

4) Switch to a vegan diet or greatly reduce meat – especially beef – and dairy consumption.

5) Buy no more than three new items of clothing a year. Avoid buying newly manufactured things whenever possible. Use what you already have for seven years or longer. A big chunk of consumer emissions are embedded in the things that we buy.

4. Spread the word - This may be the most important and possibly the hardest. Do what you can. Avoid heated and probably pointless arguments. As a general rule, say your piece and then let it go, without expecting to change anyone’s mind right in that moment. I try to focus on talking about solutions, which many people surprisingly don’t know. And use your piece of the internet, write letters to the editor, comment on articles, etc.

---

I can't stress enough how much I miss StumbleUpon

---

It's very endearing to me how many people are willing to keep an eye on a video feed so they can push a button and let a fish in the Netherlands get to the other side of a dam.

---

I have to do this every year or two, when vertigo strikes. Every time, I'm in awe of Dr. Foster for inventing this. That she did it while in the throes of vertigo herself is fucking superhuman.

---