The Fia Hated Him Because Of His Whimsy

how my brain picks a new favorite character who sucks

fuck it. new jersey grand prix. cancel any european races you have to. this will change lives. think of the media they’d make them do. men who have lived in actual italy attempt to translate jersey italian slang. boardwalk vlog where they almost die on the water slide. get to the track but there’s 17 jughandles and pumping your own gas is illegal. think of the jersey devil special helmets. the cheetah print special helmets. multiple real housewives cast members died in the battle for who gets to wave the checkered flag. the national anthems are played live by mcr. the trophies are shaped like new jersey and bedazzled to hell and back. the entire event is sponsored by wawa. bruce springsteen is there. guys please i have a vision. 

compilation of nico and kevin pictures more people need to see. heavy on the bottom 4 (I have honestly been itching to make that peace sign + glasses + cross necklace force india nico pic my pfp but then I'd have to re-theme the entire blog and I cannot be arsed so we stick to blue and yellow)

The Indy 500 craves Violence and Bloodshed today

ik my goat didnt 💪💪💪💪

who has NOT been noted by race control at this point

i know there’s an f1 version of this so. indycar!

I find it kind of stupid how 'half full' vs 'half empty' is framed as an optimist/pessimist thing. If it starts full and gets halfway drained, it's half empty. If it starts empty and gets halfway filled, it's half full. If you don't know the starting state it's both simultaneously.

I see your “Paul is Pokotho’s favorite” theory and raise you “Paul is Pokotho’s nemesis”

So here’s the thing about Pokey: he hates any voice that isn’t his own. He sees Hatchetfield and all their drama and he feels superior because he KNOWS there’s not a single person in this world whose part he can’t play better than them.

He knows their little wants and deepest desires. He understands their character motivations more deeply than those miserable ants ever could. 

Except here’s the thing. Thousands of timelines, countless different scenarios he and his brothers have dreamed up, and in all of that there’s still one question that remains unanswered:

Who the fuck is Paul?

No seriously who the hell is this guy. Like, he’s in every story but what’s his deal. What does Paul want? He wants a date with a barista. And seemingly, that’s it.

Great. Fucking riveting.

The man is nothing, he’s set dressing, he’s a total non sequitur. Plot threads walk up to him and he goes “no thanks I have better things to do” and prattles off

He doesn’t have better things to do. He never has better things to do. He’s going to go home and browse Wikipedia for an hour and then go to bed. Pokey goddamn checked. 

Even in the universe where he gets replaced with a goddamn time traveling clone, that clone’s ambition start and end with marrying that same fucking barista because he is seemingly programmed in his DNA to be BORING

He doesn’t even like musicals, the uncultured cuck.

But now Paul’s gone and made Pokey waste valuable brainpower pondering the inner life of stupid nothing mortal like he’s fucking Tinky. And Pokey’s not gonna stand for that kind of slight. 

Paul’s just like every other worthless person in his universe and Pokey’s going to prove it. He’ll wrench a story from Paul’s bloody corpse if it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. 

And he’s going to do it in SONG

I say have a type (men with dark curly hair, big eyes, heavy accent who can cook) and then nico rosberg blesses my eyes and everything is out the window

louis foster i will fistfight you let that man PASS