Roachesandroaches - Untitled

‪sentenced for 12 years on two counts of goofin around, one count of manslaughter

*voice echoing through the subterranean caverns and halls of the catacombs* whatever man. are we gonna kiss or not.

like, a god of death or whatever, standing on my lawn: you’re about to experience the wrath of a god

me, who was watering my plants and turned at the sound of voice, thereby accidentally spraying them w/ the hose: oh, wow, i’m so sorry dude, shit

i walk into a room & several people yell "trigger warning: f slur!"

im going to be real i am pretty fucking surprised!

“uhhh i can’t find this book at my public library” that’s because you’re not going to the secret public library (stealing from barnes and noble)