Plot: Regulus And Sirius Are Secretly On The Facetime With Each Other.

james: what’s the shadiest thing you’ve ever seen someone do?

remus: turn a bunch of kids into werewolves, just to start an army.

lily: being prejudiced against half-bloods and muggle borns whilst being a half-blood themselves.

sirius: try to conceive for years, then become abusive to the very kids they were dying to have.

james: o-oh, i was just gonna say nick my sweaters right after they said that their fashion sense is nothing like mine…

regulus: i never said, nor did such a thing.

plot: the slytherins are failing to get into the gryffindor common room to get sirius and james who just pulled another prank on them, while the two potter boys blast “insane in the brain” by cypress hill.

james: *dancing on a table* cops, come and try to snatch my crops.

sirius: *twerking by the portrait hole* these pigs wanna blow my house down.

regulus: care to explain what happened pour moi?

james: uh- oui oui, so i had a little too much café on an empty túmmy, so i had a - how do you say - panique attaque.

remus lupin would 100% wear sandals with socks and think it’s peak fashion, sue me.

plot: regulus is talking to sirius about his new boyfriend.

regulus: i’m trying to come up with a new nickname for him, but nothing’s sticking with me.

sirius: alright, what reminds you of him? like something pleasant.

regulus:

regulus: …rugs.

sirius: what?

regulus: i like…rugs.

regulus: rugs are fluffy, they sometimes come in cute shapes too. he’s pretty cute, and he’s got fluffy hair.

sirius: you’re nicknaming your boyfriend after a type of carpet?

regulus: rug…reg and rug…rug and reg…i like it.

sirius: *groans into a pillow*

plot: sirius is texting remus and james while he’s at a family gathering.

sirius: fuck me i hate it here.

remus: isn’t that lovely.

sirius: feeling h i g h k e y judged by some boomers for my band-tee.

james: well, you would’ve been judged whether you wore it or not.

sirius: BAHAHA FUCK-

remus: there’s this thing, idk if u know it, but it’s called the subtle art of not giving a fuck.

sirius: yeah no, i prefer to not give any fucks loudly and boldly.

remus, replying to himself: it’s very low key, i have it, and it saves me.

james: forget them, they’re probably reptiles anyways.

sirius: yeah, no, they’re too unsuccessful to be reptiles, but their dry skin is really backing up your point there prongsie.

sirius: OKAYGTGTHEYRESUMMONINGME.

*sirius and james having a discussion in the afterlife*

james: he named his kid albus severus, ALBUS FUCKING SEVERUS!!

sirius: you’re kidding.

james: i’m dead serious.

sirius: no…i’m dead sirius, you’re dead james.

the owner of this account, along with the marauders, would like to wish all their muslim supporters a very happy eid 🤍🤍

plot: sirius got dumped.

james: do you feel like you weren’t enough? is that why you feel so choked by your emotions?

sirius: i know i’m not enough, otherwise he wouldn’t have left me.

marlene: did you get the weird breathing trouble yet?

sirius: what, asthma? i’ve had that for ages.

james and marlene: *burst out laughing*

sirius: *gives in and starts laughing through his tears*

the marauders as the types of people you’d see on eid day! (eid at the prongs household)

wakes everyone up at 6am bc family is coming over: james.

is having the time of their life cooking in the kitchen or making all kinds of desserts: peter

spends HOURS getting ready, so they have to be woken up extra early: sirius and marlene.

gets dragged by their feet to go to eid prayers: sirius

“give me the fucking money” : remus and regulus.

hands out money in cute little envelopes: mary and lily.

uses a money shooter and enjoys watching the battle royale as everyone dives to the ground to collect as much money as possible: sirius and regulus // euphemia and fleamont.

steals all the money from the kids: dorcas.