Tydr2gun - Tyler Smiler

Midnights is for the girls who worked hard to get a life of their own, but now feel empty, it's the album you listen to when you're alone in the kitchen with no partner to cook with, no friends to go out with, no parents to comfort you. It's for the jo march girls, who gave up everything and everyone and pretend like it's alright but cry themselves to sleep every night, it's for the girls who stare at the ceiling for hours after coming home, it's for the masterminds, the people pleasers, for the girls who think they're unlovable, it's for the autumn/winter girls, it's for the girls who love rain and gloom, it's for the girls who read the most gut wrenching books to feel emotions, it's the ultimate sad girl album.

gloomy challenge // 270923

i woke up before the sunrise and feel as if i'm slowly becoming those people that like dawn more than dusk. the stillness of morning before sunrise is something else

How I prep for a new semester at uni:

I make a new time block sheet. I put all my classes in, then my commute time. From there I plan study hours, when I need to wake up to not feel rushed, work hours, etc. This plan helps to keep me from getting too overwhelmed and let me feel like I have everything under control.

I do my school shopping on prime day or after the back to school rush. You'll find those nice multi subject notebooks on sale for cheap and fun stationary and backpacks a lot cheaper like this!

I try to get a head start in classes. If I know we're reading a book or something I'll start a couple weeks before school starts. I try to take notes on as many chapters/subjects as I can and all that. This not only helps me get ahead, but it also helps me for when I inevitably fall behind.

I get all the routine maintenance done on my car. I drive over an hour to get to classes so this is very important. Oil change, tire rotation, balance, filters, etc. I save up my summer tips to get all this done.

I stock up on easy and fast foods. Instant noodles, granola bars, frozen meals, etc. Between working a lot and doing classes I don't have the energy to cook and do dishes so this saves me.

I give myself little reasons to get excited. The teacher or the campus or a friend. Whatever it may be. I HAVE to have a reason to drive that long to attend a class for an hour and come back and not get stressed.

I make a food budget. It's so easy to spend $150 a week on snacks and treats and coffees and such. So I have to set a budget and a plan for myself so I can actually pay my rent haha

I plan my walks to classes on campus. Where I'll park, how much time I have between classes, how to get there, etc.

If I have late classes, I make sure that I can call someone after every class as I walk to my car to make sure I'm safe.

Plan little treats and rewards. If I realize there's a week that's going to be super hard on me, I'll plan a little early morning walk or something special I don't do often after as a reward.

I try to be more positive to myself the closer the semester comes. I have to be proud of me and my work. I have to be confident in my abilities. So I have to have that mindset. Which is super hard as someone with severe anxiety and depression and who has been conditioned growing up to be quiet and a background character essentially. But I AM good. I AM smart. I can ace these classes. I deserve to be here and I deserve good things.

I triple check with my job to make sure they have my updated availability and will give me the flexibility I require due to my classes.

Overall, I just get my shit together once again and try and get myself excited. I have the opportunity to study at a university and that in itself is absolutely amazing and something I don't take for granted.

There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.

BPD culture is actively warning people that you are unstable and mentally ill. They tell you it's okay and they don't mind, and then call you hurtful names and tell you you're a monster for... *checks paper*... showing symptoms that you warned them about?

.

@lovesdaya

𝗕𝗲𝗮𝘂𝘁𝘆 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀 ・。*.

🎀📖₊✧ 🖋