Vesperlf - Vesper

The Toa Voya.

And Dezalk.

(A live-updating list of stuff I use can be found here, feel free to suggest anything not on that list via my askbox.)

when i was a straight boy, i said so, at least to myself.

it was always "pretty girls" and "beautiful women" shown to me, described to me. men were "handsome", but that's not an aesthetic judgement. it's a recommendation for marriage that could be based on other traits.

a good-looking man's portrait was almost always painted to what would make him look good to straight men, not those who wanted to fuck.

it seemed like desire for men was alien, an unexplainable, unrelatable magical feeling that others were mind controlled by.

until, eventually, i found that desire.

yet, it still feels wrong to use the same descriptions. masculine men are still, generally, not pretty to me. but i. i want to kiss them so much. i want a better word. help.

being attracted to men is not shameful or regrettable and if you think this is a 'needlessly arguing for the norm in a community of outsiders' post then you're part of the problem

"Original" Sin is what i've titled this piece. by me. sorry if you don't have "collapse long posts" enabled. I have many thoughts.

Transcript - References

Headcanon: The specific wording here, “all the tales told by his species”, isn’t just a shorthand for “all the tales told about Irnakk by his species”. Rather, it’s a convention in Skakdi storytelling that the end of every story features a gruesome murder of all the characters by Irnakk, even if it has nothing to do with him. Not writing this scene indicates the author needs the characters alive for a sequel.

we should globally ban the introduction of more powerful computer hardware for 10-20 years, not as an AI safety thing (though we could frame it as that), but to force programmers to optimize their shit better

I think it needs to become common knowledge that "inability to read social cues" can show up as overcompensating.

You don't know how much misbehaviour is allowed, so you become the perfect child who never tests rules.

You don't know if someone is irritated with you, so you'll be extra generous and self-effacing.

You don't know how much is expected of you at work so you'll kill yourself in a minimum-wage job and not notice that nobody else is working like this.

"Hardworking and quiet" should be as much of an autism red flag as "ignores rules and doesn't know when to stop talking". Or why don't we just start using words to communicate so i can stop tracking everybody's eyebrow twitches, that would be great.

If you think having uncomfortable conversations is hard - wait until you see the result of not having them.

new episode of "revisiting random offputting short films that youtube showed me when i was 11"

Yeah I’m a white American I don’t really think there’s anything I can have for culture

You're so brave for saying this

day 6 / ???