Alone But Not Lonely - Blog Posts

Kind reminder that a degree will not get up one day and leave you, cheat on you, cut your funds, disrespect you or assault you. A degree will be worth a thousand sleepless nights and rivers of tears, because in the end it does matter more than anything else. A degree will make you an independent and undefeated woman, so stop belittling the importance of education nowadays. Every woman who studies is a woman who is ensuring a greater future for all women.

Unpopular opinion, but the moment I stopped listening to videos from self improvement channels like TheWizardLiz or Simonesquared is the moment I started improving.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with them, as I find some of their advices truly helpful, but consuming their media equals to trying to search to further “how to do x, y, z”, when in reality you are once again stopping yourself from doing better (or something at all).

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I am a leaver. I am a blocker. I will not stick around after disrespect. I will cut you off and you will be informed about that. I will remove myself the moment I see that a friendship or relationship makes me suffer. I will exit the situation at the first given opportunity. And I always do.

Babe, you don’t have to start at 5 AM after Pilates, at 8.30 after a matcha, or at 10.30 after the gym.

You can start at 7.16 at home, at 15,34 after a long nap, at 19.46 after an afternoon of doom scrolling, at 9.21 before a boring lecture in an ugly building and so on. The only thing that matters is that you start.

The “manifestation” agenda summarised in a few, simple words:

Book: Atomic Habits by James Clear.

If I may say, there is a exceptionally thin line between being unbothered and focused on yourself and being so out of touch with reality to a point even a legitimate critic that is not aligned with the persona you manufactured is seen as out of pocket.

In circumstances similar to the latter, please consider waking the fuck up.

Currently.

Rejection is redirection, not rout.

This morning, my therapist shared this really useful hack and I feel like it could be useful to share: it is the pie chart method.

Essentially, it is a great tool to identify the behaviours, situations and events that caused a certain effect, in order for you to truly understand what really happened.

You simply draw a circle, identify the circumstances that caused the outcome and give each situation a percentage of its influence on the outcome.

For example: you bake a cake but it turns out horribly. It could be that 45% of the fault could be given to the oven that has malfunctioned, 30% to the wrongly calculated measurements of the ingredients, and 25% of your inexperience baking a cake. In the end, you will realise that it may not be your fault, and therefore you should stop being so angry at yourself.

Disclaimer: sometimes the fault could be given to you. This is a useful method for those of you who may constantly be harsh to yourselves.

Chase yourself, and the rest will fall apart as it is meant to be.

Taller than me, richer than me, CHALANT, funny, manly, great sense of style, intelligent, pretty, smells good, kisses the floor I walk on, profound personality.

Some of you think way too much. You should be worried about who you are becoming rather than who you were. Nobody cares and nobody remembers, but you.

Academic advices from a (non american) law student.

Premise: I feel the urge to underline the fact that I am not American nor attend any university in America due to the fact that most tips and tricks I found, coming from Americans, were scarce in terms of concrete application. If you found them to be useful, then I am more than glad. All I wish to do is to share different experiences and approaches to the university world that are maybe differing from the usual content.

I. “Time restricted” spaced repetition: the great majority of the subject in my curriculum are quite complex and portray a large number of complex topics, Latin terms, and regulations that are specific. What I suggest here is to write down in a fun colour (to me it is red) the words, terms, names and phrases that are difficult for you to remember. We are not born all knowing, and some terms can be, at first glance, peculiar or unusual. That is completely normal. Therefore, write down anything that you may struggle to remember and every day, you do your best to recall those specific terms, and over the span of even two days you will most likely incorporate even the most difficult words.

II. Repeat out loud: in my university, we do not have written exams. Therefore, practicing your speech for the exam is fundamental for us. However, even if your exams are not oral, explaining out loud subjects helps you remember them better (even if you give a look to your notes from time to time). Do this from day one of preparation. My favourite way of doing so is to repeat everything when outside, while on a walk or at a cafe.

III. Mental connections: chances are, some topics will be repeated in different ways in the same subject. For instance, the concept of inter-subjective laws was discussed three times in this one course, and each time a different aspect was discussed. What I am suggesting is that, when a particular topic or word comes up often, you force yourself to do two things: first, you do a repetition exercise in which you repeat where and when was that topic already mentioned, and second, you differentiate between the two. Why are they different, how are they different and in what ways they are similar.

IV. During the lectures: our professors do not record lectures, nor do they use any platform to “stream” them. If it is possible for you, attend the lectures! Take careful notes and correct them right away, after the lectures has finished! Ask those questions, no matter how “silly” they may be! The professor is right there for you, so you might as well use the opportunity to enrich your knowledge.

V. The notes: print them. Not only will your eyes thank you, but I find studying from paper more effective and it is easier to focus. Call me a grandma, but that is the truth. And if correcting some parts is the reason you prefer digital, try to simply cover the parts tg at you wish to rewrite eight plain paper and write the correction on it. This way the topic will be easier to be remembered.

VI. Audiobook: this may sound unusual, but listening to your notes can be quite beneficial. Due to me being a student, I have free access to the Microsoft package: world has this “read aloud” feature, and I play the audio during the night. The subconscious mind is much more powerful than what you may think of it.

VII. Grades: obviously we all aim for the greatest grades, but often the way we are graded may be out of your control. Sometimes you may get sick right before the exam, sometimes the examiner may be irritated and got up already upset with the world, sometimes we could have given better performances. It happens, and it will inevitably make you feel awful and out of place: please, remember to be kind and gentle with yourself. It will be better the next time, but in that moment remember that you are never alone. If you do not wish to talk it out with someone, ask ChatGPT. It really gives comfort and great advices in moments of frustration and disappointment. Do not ruin your life for a temporary moment.

Louise Hay: How to love yourself.

Curate everything.

Curate your hygiene routine, curate your clothing items, curate your home, curate your habits, curate your nutrition, curate your environment, curate your circles, curate you socials, curate the content you consume, curate your social skills, curate your financial situation, curate your emotions, curate the version of you that shows up in public, curate your hobbies, curate your knowledge.

Stop sharing your goals, vision boards, new year resolutions with the public. Share the results and the accomplishments only.

My dear,

What they said is exactly what you heard. What they did is exactly what you saw. Do not look for further confirmation of their actions - or lack of action.

God and the Universe will reveal us the truth, and it is often difficult to digest. But that is the simple reality of the matter. Swift away, cut them off and do not allow any further access to you and your precious time.

Pain is temporary, but self preservation and recovery are forever.

“But investing is hard! But I do not want to break up, because then I’ll be alone! But learning is for few selected people! But I do not have time! But people will stare! But that sounds hard!”

But struggling is alright? K.

If there is only one tip you should incorporate into your daily life, that is simply taking action.

If you wish to attract a more sophisticated and curated life, you have to take the steps necessary to get there. Simply thinking of such life will not bring you there and I am so tired of this agenda.

You have to put the effort and energy into the life you want and deserve, and you should not settle for less. Build those habits that will benefit you in the long term, learn what can concretely transform your life and apply all those qualities to your current self.

In no way, shape or form does God or the Universe wish you to struggle. God and the Universe, however, respond with the same energy you put into your life. Make that energy higher in quality and watch how great your life will become.

Do not fool yourself into believing that cutting ties with people who do not meet your criteria of living is a selfish performance.

To create an environment in which you can thrive is to curate the environment you are living in.

The people you surround yourself with are most likely to shape your future, and that is a fact: colliding mindsets and opinions are normal, but staying because you fear to lose somebody is not.

Choose the people who surround you wisely, and never feel ashamed to do so. Your peace is your priority.

Get aggressive with your goals, lazy people stay behind.

I keep telling myself I am going to give guys a chance, but every single time the opportunity presents itself I shut it down. I do not think it has anything to do with fear of intimacy at this point. I have so much going on right now with getting my degree, doing lab research, learning a new language, getting all 3 of my healthcare certification renewed, working out 5 days a week, etc, etc. I just do not have the time or the patience to entertain anyone right now. What's crazy is when I tell people that I never been in a relationship, and do not plan on being in one anytime soon, I get side eyed. But it's like I am so young, and I feel like I have all my life to fall in love and go on dates and do all that relationship stuff. Maybe I am missing out, maybe I'm not. But I do know that I am in a good place in my life and I am super excited for what the next couple of years of my life have in store in me.