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“Yoohoo?” Hanbin waved his hand in front of my face and I finally looked at him “I’ve been talking to you for five minutes now” he said as he put his hand back on his pocket. I looked away from him and blinked multiple times, trying to regain my consciousness. My tidily brushed hair was a mess by now. “Oh come on chill, you look like you just saw a ghost. Admit it it wasn’t that bad.” He added “I swear to God, I’m going to destroy you one day” I bluntly said to Hanbin and he stared at me for a moment before humming in realization “So this is your way of saying thanks, you’re welcome!” He sarcastically replied with a smile, then pushed my lower jaw up “now stop gagging or else you’ll get a fly stuck in your throat.” Hanbin added and put a hand over my shoulders, guiding me to wherever, and at some point I didn’t give a shit anymore. My soul embraced the skies already anyways. i was too numb he could throw me off a cliff and I wouldn’t feel a thing. was this really a part of whatever plan he had? Was I supposed to actually trust Kim Hanbin? Maybe and as crazy as his ideas sounded, he had something else in mind, so I just hoped for the best. soon I detached myself from Hanbin’s hold and walked away, looking nowhere but at the small stand selling snacks, where my beloved chocolate milk was. “One strawberry milk please” Hanbin told the seller from behind me “One chocolate milk please” i said “No just one strawberry milk” Hanbin said again and I made a face “Whats your problem” I grumbled “Rule number three: Never be afraid to try new things” was all I got from him as he paid for the beverage then gave it to me. “But I hate this” “Are you even listening to what I say” “I don’t want it” “Deal with it, goddamn.” Hanbin snapped and looked at me with an annoyed face. if there was some beverage I hated the most it’d be strawberry milk. and he sure knew it, or at least knew that I liked the chocolate flavored one. I’d slap him if he’s just playing around. Throwing Hanbin a disgusted look I quietly opened the packaging and started drinking, soon flinching at the ever so bothersome taste. “From now on you’re going to drink this only, or at least when you’re with me” he added as he walked somewhere else, me trailing behind him “You suck” I murmured and he seemed to hear me since he soon replied “you’ll thank me later” After a bit of walking Hanbin stopped and turned to me, “I think we should go on the Ferris wheel and wrap up this day, I’m sick of your whining, you’re a slow learner” he noted and I stared at the huge turning circle. Wasn’t this for kids? Or couples? Or anything Kim Hajin wasn’t? “What? Dont tell me you’re afraid of this too, cause that’d be really lame. come on let’s go” hanbin said after noticing I was staring at the ride before he grabbed my hand and walked towards it, intertwining our fingers soon after. “W-wait what the hell” I muttered as my heartbeat quickened. “What now” “People are watching” “Uhh, so what?” “You have a girlfriend for God’s sake” “Do they know that? No. Stop making life complicated for once, would you?” Hanbin snapped at me for the umpteenth time today and lead me by the shoulders We continued marching towards the ride, or more like Hanbin dragging me towards it, me biting my lips the whole way, I just hoped no one I knew was there. We got on one of the cabinets and soon the ride started, our cabinet gradually increasing in height as time passed. “the view is good from here” Hanbin commented “What’s good about it” “Are you serious” he gave me a look and I almost scowled “What kind of kid are you, it’s just the city you see everyday but from above” I reasoned and he looked outside again, as if confirming “But it really looks beautiful” he defended and I rolled my eyes, he can be such a five year old Hanbin suddenly cupped my cheeks and Forced me to look at the view, “look closely” he said “W-what are you doing! D-don’t touch me!” I freaked out as I felt my face getting red “Just look, look at how the tall treets look like small bushes, look at how the vehicles look like kids’ toys, look at the setting sun painting everything orange. And see that river? That’s probably where we hung out last time” Hanbin started pointing out every detail of the scenery and I gradually began to appreciate every part of it. I never knew it was this beautiful. I never knew the plain city i saw everyday would ever look so appealing to me. “.. it’s really beautiful” i found myself muttering in awe as my eyes got glued to the view, that before i felt a smack on my head “Of course you rascal! That’s what I’ve been trying to point out since earlier.” He sighed “it’s all about perspective, it depends on the glasses you’re wearing in order to see this world. If your glasses are blurry or broken, you can’t enjoy the beauty of your surroundings, therefore you can never appreciate it. This is what Rule number four is about: Fix your glasses.” “Yah all what you’re saying is good and all but it sounds weird coming from you” “Is this an insult” “Well you just don’t look that smart okay just saying ” “That IS an insult! look at this ungrateful rascal” “… Thanks” I chuckled and looked away - “So, what did you learn today” Hanbin started as we finally walked back home after the Ferris wheel ride. “Hmm, forget about one two three, never be afraid to try new things, and fix your glasses. On a side note from where did you get these cliche phrases though” I answered, recapitulating the main ideas of what that mad man was saying all day. “I just made them up. And from now you’re going to keep every rule I mention in mind” Hanbin answered cockily, sounding too amused probably by the fact that he was controlling me, what a kid. “Including drinking strawberry milk” he added and I groaned but he suddenly got a freaking strawberry milk package from his jacket’s pocket and handed it to me “From where the hell did you get this” “You don’t need to know” was all I got. I pouted and opened the package because did I even have another option. I could only follow what Hanbin says even when he’s just saying whatever comes up first in his head “Hey” Hanbin started again “Hmm” I replied, making a face after taking another sip from the unpleasant beverage in my hand “I’m not trying to sound creepy or I don’t know but that guy you always stay with- what was his name?” “Byungjoo?” “Yeah” “what is it about him” “You… are you guys dating” “No, what makes you think that” “Just saying, because you never really spend time with anyone else but him” “Because he’s my best friend, and my only friend” “What about me” “Are you really comparing” “Sure, why not” I stopped “You’re spending more time with me lately, doesn’t that mean I’m close to you now” Hanbin said and I rolled my eyes in disbelief “So just because you’re bothering me more often lately you think we’re close?” “Don’t close people bother each other” “We’re not close Hanbin. No such thing would ever happen” I muttered. Because really being close to Hanbin in a status other than dating him wasn’t and would never be on my list “Why are you this secretive” he bluntly asked “I’m not secretive. I’m just telling you to not get too interfered with me.” “Then stop doing that.” Hanbin stopped walking and eyed me “I want to get closer to you, more than him.” he added “Byungjoo was also at the amusement park. That’s why I was acting that way before we got on the Ferris wheel.” My jaw dropped as my brain replayed what happened back at the amusement park. If someone was watching from afar they would legit only see a quarrelling couple. And to think that Byungjoo was there, I felt more than horrible. “I think it makes no sense that we’re hanging out but you still saying that we aren’t close. You’re overflowing with secrets. And I hate it.” He snapped and left me dumbfounded. Well fuck.
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“Its okay, cry” Byungjoo almost whispered above my head “it’s okay to let out from time to time” he added I honestly had no idea how long have we been standing like this, but I couldn’t care less. It felt really good to cry against Byungjoo as his hand soothingly caressed my back in silence. I had tried to form a coherent sentence several times but ended up giving up as my sobs and hiccups took over and my brain was a whole mess. Gradually, my sobs silenced as I had enough from crying; I felt like my whole body drained and my head would explode at any moment then. The bell had rung a few moments ago but I couldn’t care less, I had History class and even when our teacher was good I was in no state to assist. After a few moments, Byungjoo detached his arms from me and ruffled my hair “Go home now okay? You need to rest and everything will be alright” he softly whispered, “I need to go now, my math teacher will skin me if I arrive later than this” he added and unwillingly stepped backwards. “Take care” Byungjoo finally said and left the rooftop. It felt good crying after all, I felt like I let out a bit. I had too much kept in, and it felt better to let out some. and as much as I wanted to pass out from the massive headache, I decided to stay more in the rooftop. The cold weather helped cool down my burning head, plus I couldn’t just go down the halls with this mess of a face. just as I started appreciating the silence and loneliness again, I could see a figure from the corner of my eye; a figure that soon halted his steps as he looked taken aback at what seemed to be my face, a figure that I immediately recognized. “Get out” I coldly muttered. This wasn’t the time for Kim Hanbin. This just wasn’t. “Whats wrong, hey don’t cry” hanbin said, almost sounding worried as his right thumb ran smooth against my red cheek attempting to wipe the remaining tears I had on my face. And as much as I would’ve appreciated his touch if I was in a good mood, it felt more than bothering at that moment that I found myself pushing his arm away, no eye contact made. I could feel Hanbin staring down at me for a moment before he awkwardly put his hand back in his pocket and sat next to me. “Bother to tell me what happened?” He asked again after some time “No” I simply replied, tone as cold as earlier. He just needed to leave. I was having a good time alone. Did he have to interrupt it “It’s not of you to ditch History. I mean, I was ditching that too but had other plans before I went past the classroom and didn’t see you there” Hanbin started again, he sounded too awkward and desperate to start a conversation which left me wondering why the heck did he even come to talk to me. “Why” I replied shortly again “Don’t I have the right to worry” Hanbin chuckled and said “No” I answered, finally looking at him after noticing his weird gaze towards me, “what are you looking at?” I confusedly asked “Are you even hearing yourself? You’re looking like a beaten squirrel, ditching classes, answering what I say with a single word or silence and tell me I don’t have the right to worry?” “BECAUSE NO ONE ASKED YOU TO” I finally snapped. Loudly. Holy shit I messed up. I fucking messed up. But guess what? I couldn’t care less. “Stop acting like you know me or anything!!” I added and I honestly think this is the first time I had spoken this loud to anyone. Well at least as far as I remember. “I told you to get out earlier” I said again, sounding more restrained “Alright.. ” Hanbin finally spoke up after staying quiet for a moment, and I would be lying if I said his tone didn’t frighten me. “I see then. But just saying, I won’t be leaving till you’re feeling better” he added, looking nowhere but at the ceiling and I almost snarled, fishing out my earphones out of my pocket and plugging them on. - I had no idea how much time passed and how long have I been staying here, around eight replays of my favorite song. But one thing was sure and it’s that Kim Hanbin was still sitting there. I slightly turned his way, giving him an aren’t-you-giving-up look when we locked eyes, to which he replied with a small childish smile and I rolled my eyes, looking away. What a kid. a few moments later and I got used to ignoring Hanbin’s existence, and he was nice for staying quiet which helped in so. I was totally sad, pissed, frustrated, I didn’t know what was it but I sure as hell wasn’t in a good mood, and I didn’t know why. I relieved stress with Byungjoo’s help, why was I still like this? Maybe I just need time to be alone then reboot. “Maybe you just need to play this” okay, did I just say that out loud? Because Hanbin was back to sticking to me again and this time, he extended his hand, showing me his phone. I glanced at the screen trying my best to ignore the fact that he was way too close to me that I could hear his excited breathing. It was a weird game full of colors, and there was this little white round bouncy thing in the middle of the screen, its numerous arms kept swirling around, it even had a face. I snickered “What’s this” I said and it didn’t even sound like a question, I was way too done with Kim Hanbin for having this sort of ridiculous game in his phone. “Just play alright, the instructions are in the screen” he urged and put the device between my hands “W-what are you doing” I said and almost hit myself for stuttering, but he just casually touched me so suddenly and I really wasn’t ready for it, I ducked my head down and pretended to be immersed in whatever was displayed in his phone. it was a weird game indeed, you had to move that bouncy thing by pressing left and right and dodge some black creepy round things which I guessed were evil by the way they were drawn. And in a matter of seconds I got so concentrated on the game as I got a hold of how it went. It was rather fun after all. “You’re doing well” Hanbin commented after watching me play for some time, sounding rather impressed “look, I died, happy now?” I made a face at him as my creature hit an evil one and died Hanbin extended his hand to retrieve his phone but I was quicker and yanked it away “Wait, I want to play more” I almost whined, as I tapped the Play button again “This thing is way too cute” I said between my chuckles as the white ball was so squishy and adorable, and as much as I was concentrated on the game, I didn’t fail to notice Hanbin actually creeping at me and not staring at the screen, and I honestly felt hella uncomfortable considering the fact that he was already too close. “Yay highscore!” I cheered as I made a new highscore in the game, satisfied by the fact that I scored better than him “Tell me the name of this game I’ll download it” I asked Hanbin as I handed him back his phone “You wish, I’ll only let you play it in my phone” he snapped and placed the device back in his pocket “Why? So you’d brag about MY scores to your friends?” I frowned “No, so I’d watch you fangirling ridiculously at it, you should’ve seen your face” hanbin simply answered and stood up. I bit the inner of my mouth as I averted his gaze, feeling blood rush up to my cheeks.
“Get up, you shouldn’t stay here more” he added and I did as told, Hanbin was right, it was getting cloder and the rooftop wasn’t really the best place to stay in. I followed behind Hanbin downstairs, making sure to keep a safe distance from him. - This had been in my notes for like a month and I was lazy to post it, it actually didn’t end up the way I wanted but well.
#7
#1
I knew he liked me, Byungjoo did. He wasn’t really that obvious, but I’ve known him enough to figure out. He was my neighbor for thirteen years now, and the first and only friend I made when I came to their neighborhood when I was four. We were quite close as kids I mean I used to do everything with him, play together, study together, I used to rely on him in everything, and had to buy him the same thing of anything I bought, he defended me the whole time and never left my side as we grew up together. I honestly felt grateful, no lie, but now we grew up, and things changed. We aren’t kids anymore. A simple touch isn’t meaningless anymore. Since we graduated middle school I started noticing, Byungjoo wasn’t the same anymore, he eyed me differently, behaved around me differently, even his tone of talking to me changed. That was enough for me to realize that it’s not the same anymore. Byungjoo didn’t see me as a best friend anymore, but as a girl. And I honestly felt guilty because I really didn’t mirror those feelings. I liked Hanbin. Though I knew I had no chance with him, my heart kept longing for him pathetically. I knew this was going to finish some day by me rejecting Byungjoo and never having Hanbin. And I’m sure Byungjoo would start distancing himself from me after and I really don’t want that. I only had Byungjoo. And loosing him wasn’t on my to do list. I actually lied, heh, I’m sorry. I haven’t always been alone after all. Byungjoo was always there, at least in the background. Checking on me between periods -as we studied in different classes-, having lunch with me, walking me home often and having the weirdest viber conversations. Byungjoo was actually the only person I was opened up with. I could freely talk without fearing him nor his reaction. I honestly felt comfortable around him because I could show my real self in front of him. What I liked about Byungjoo the most was how he was different from the others. Although he had known me for a long while, he wouldn’t just barge in when I’m sitting alone in silence. I almost think he reads my face. Whether I’m alone and liking it, or needing someone to talk to, or just a silent company. He knew me way too well. Although I was never the talkitive type. Yet I guess he just got used to my system, and unfortunately grew affectionate towards it. I sat almost cross legged -I was never good at that- over the a/c unit’s brick shade, slowly and gradually taking bites of my sandwich. Byungjoo had apparently thought it was nice to go to the rooftop and have lunch. This is both of us’ first time getting up here and if we get into trouble it’s totally his fault. Well it was pretty and comfortable here though, it was quiet and refreshing. Something Byungjoo knew I liked and that’s probably why he brought me here. And I was feeling glad he never really talked unless it was necessary. And that he got me up here because I honestly would never do that alone. I zoned out staring at the ceiling, well I pretended to, trying to look oblivious of Byungjoo intensly staring at me, I never really liked to ‘catch’ him while he’s at it, I didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable around me so I’ve always let him be. Biting the inner of my mouth I secretly wished he disliked me instead because I totally hated the idea of hurting him, I hated it so much that I refuse the occurrence of the process. I had finished eating by the time Byungjoo called me, offering a sweet. “Don’t even try to say no because I’m not taking that as an answer” he said as I opened my mouth to refuse. I chuckled. “Sassy. Thanks” I silently replied, placing the candy in my pocket. He knew well that I needed something sugary between sessions. he probably won’t be attending class this afternoon that’s why he’s handing it to me now, he never came on Wednesday afternoons. He needs to stop ditching secondary subjects. Me and Byungjoo stayed in silence for a good while. Just enjoying each other’s company. This time he was more of concentrating on the floor, suddenly finding it more attractive than me, well honestly it was, I’m funny I know. His straight eyebrows furrowed and his pink lips slightly perked up; the typical face Kim Byungjoo made when he was in deep thoughts. I guess this time it was my turn to stare at him. From how the soft winds gently played with his blond hair and to how he rested his back on the edge of where I was sitting, legs crossed and hands in his pockets. Byungjoo was good looking, I’m not even going to lie about it. He was so good looking I actually questioned why didn’t I fall for him instead. I mean I’m not that superficial but let’s be honest, he’s nice, senseful, funny and responsible, and being good looking was like the icing on the cake. The cake that had been in front of me since I was four yet I never thought of tasting it. “What?” Did I stare for too long? “nothing. Just being creepy” I quickly averted his gaze and heard him chuckle “Ugh it’s cold” I muttered after few moments but soon regretted it because I had Byungjoo’s attention focused on me as he quickly took off his blazer and placed it over my shoulders “Hey I was just saying” “Just wear it, I don’t wanted to be blamed if you get sick” he hinted at how mom always told him to look after me as if I was five. “Lets go down” he said as he pushed himself off the short wall and started walking to the door, not even bothering to look back as he knew I was following behind him. “Hey” he turned “Your jacket” I said as I approached him more. He was going out now so he technically needed it more than me who’s going to stay under a roof. “Keep it on” he answered as soon as I laid my hands over the blazer to take it off “But people will misunder–” I started as I pushed it off but was soon cut off by Byungjoo placing both of his hand firmly on my shoulders, putting the jacket back on “Let them be.” he replied, intensely looking straight at my eyes and I felt terrified for a second to be honest. “Take care” Byungjoo added before letting go of me, then inserted his hands back in his pockets, quickly descending the stairs as I stood there like an idiot. I bit my lip.
#3