Consent - Blog Posts

“I’m that bitch” - Ella Dawson while schooling an ignorant troll

Ella Dawson has genital herpes, and she wants to tell you about it. 

She’s not speaking up for the shock value — she’s telling you because she wants all of us to be able to talk about STIs without shame or stigma. When we make it okay to talk about, she says, people are more likely to get tested and less likely to be afraid to share their status. 

In her badass talk at TEDxConnecticut College, Ella tells the story of her diagnosis, how she overcame feeling like “human trash,” and why we need to end the stigma — now. It’s packed with information (and a shot of humor), and if you didn’t already agree with her, you will by the time she’s done.

Watch the full talk or read the transcript here.

(Full disclosure: Ella is TED’s social media manager. This post was written by her boss who is so incredibly proud of how fearlessly she speaks out.)

Usually by inquiring why, as this does, based on the definition of feminism, seem a little bit strange.

You mean by saying that sex should be consensual? Because that’s basically all that feminists are saying.

I've never seen anyone try to control women like a group of feminists

Teaching kids consent is so important, even if you don’t know them

I work with kids almost every day. I like to give high fives and fist bumps. If I ask a kid for a high five and they don’t give me one? I’m not gonna force them to, even if the parent tried. I just go “eh, they’re not feeling it! That’s okay” and move on

It’s that easy

We’ve taught our children this and it’s amazing to watch them grow into emotionally healthy people.

Can we normalize asking children if we can hug them?

Children deserve a right to make decisions about this sort of thing. Forcing children to hug or kiss relatives they don’t want to can not only be upsetting, but also teaches them that they should do things they’re not comfortable with to not hurt someone’s feelings. I don’t think I have to spell out why that’s a problem.

Teaching children about this is good for their emotional well being but also teaches them about consent both giving and receiving it.

A lot of people like to think that people with intellectual disabilities shouldn’t know about adult topics. Or that all of us aren’t able to consent, or that we shouldnt be allowed to be involved with adult topics, events, situations.

So here’s your reminder that yes, people with intellectual disabilities can consent. We can drink alcohol. We can talk about adult topics. We can do all these things.

I would also like to remind people that even though some of us can do these things, there are also some of us with intellectual disabilities who can’t. And that’s ok.