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today i was told i was taking to much food. it felt like a stab in my stomach because i was taking a piece of watermelon. did the person that said that mean i didn’t need to eat anymore food than she thinks i do? probably, i just want to be skinny. :(

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FAT

Age 6

I was called fat by a boy a year older than me I wasn’t even fat then I cried all night when I found out what ‘fat’ meant

Age 7

I had a crush on one of my best friends He always told me that I wasn’t fat He even once sat in a way to make it look like he had rolls in his stomach so that I didn’t feel bad

Age 10

I stepped on a boy’s toe by accident He asked how much I weighed out of anger I didn’t say anything Too ashamed to admit that I weighed 67 kilograms

The boy that called me fat when I was 6 was right I am fat

Age 12

I absolutely hated myself I weighed near 80 kilograms Somehow the boys seemed to be kind to me Everyone were It felt strange

Age 13

I’m a teenager now I need to be perfect I wasn’t close to it I never kept track of my weight

Age 14

I hit 100 kilograms by February I hated my body a lot It made me depressed

Do you know what I do when I’m depressed? I eat And eat And eat And I don’t stop

Age 15

I hit 120 kilograms Disgusting If February I turned to Tumblr I discovered ‘Ana’ I lost a few kilograms But I didn’t have enough self control and gained it all back

Age 16

I went back to Tumblr I rediscovered ‘Ana’ I made a commitment I had hit 130 kilograms before I started I started counting calories I exercised two hours a day I fasted often I lost weight

Age 17

I’m back to 80 kilograms I feel amazing I look so much better My mom and dad are so proud My uncle even took me shopping for new clothes

Age 18

I’m was close to 60 kilograms in January I had to lose more Ana told me it was best I believed her

Age 19

I often pass out I’m pale I’m bony I’m in the 40’s now But it’s worth it I look beautiful Dainty Ethereal Small

Age 20

I practically live in the hospital My BMI is much lower than my age My organs are failing I’m dying But it’s all worth it Right? At least I’m not fat anymore 

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5 minutes goes by slower than a whole day

You’ve noticed it right? Five minutes feels like forever but a day doesn’t. So if you can get past a five minute craving, the days will pass just like that.

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Apparently apple cider vinegar is really effective for weightloss. Thing is I HATE THE TASTE so I put one table spoon in a cup of tea with some honey. I will drink that twice a day ( never go above two table spoons cause it could damage your teeth If I see any results I’ll tell you What is your goal weight ?

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Reblog if you're not eating for the rest of the day.

I rb this a lot

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mine✨ please give credit! stay safe loves💕

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Wasted

Mom found out everything. And now she is triying to help me. I don’t want it. Save me.

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I’m sorry you’re here, I’m sorry you had to read this, I’m sorry you’re doing this to yourself, I’m sorry that girl called you fat in year 6, or your dad told you you needed to lose weight when you were 10, I’m sorry you felt their stares like knifes in your back, or you cried in the toilets alone at lunch, I’m sorry you had to deal with that shit you haven’t told anyone about, or you’re still affected by the trauma no one else understands, I’m sorry you feel lonely, or empty inside, Im sorry you stay awake all night, or spend the day waiting for it to end, I’m sorry your life didn’t turn out as planned, or you feel it’s not worth living anymore. If there’s one thing my abuser did, it was make me say sorry for shit I didn’t do, I know I didn’t do any of these things to you, but I’m just so fucking sorry.

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Yo Yo Yo

Guess who’s mom just called them fat?? That’s right :))))) I want to fucking die. I’m just gonna fast for the rest of the week.

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