Worrying Is Like Worshipping The Problem

joints will see you taking a step & be like "i bet i could improve on this with my Cool New Trick." & theyre wrong

i will never stop bringing up this screenshot its actually the funniest thing ever

I'm sorry sir but no a "shrimp" did not in fact fry this rice. you're lumping crustaceans together in a very unhelpful and bigoted manner. our chef is a giant freshwater crayfish.

f(x) tribute band called f'(x). you'd think the point would be to be derivative but it's actually quite easy to differentiate the two.

can u give me a moment i'm being tormented by my chemically imbalanced brain

i'm so sorry, i walked marginally more than a mile in your shoes. my understanding of you has subsumed my own consciousness, i am you to a greater extent than you ever were, and you are merely a simulacrum to the true you, which is me.

i love when they draw a carrot on top of the carrot cake just to remind you this aint no ordinary fuckin cake youre dealing with