Latest Posts by pearlykissxoxo - Page 3

Dear Supporter,

I hope this message finds you and your family in good health. My name is Eman Zaqout from Gaza. I am reaching you out to seek your urgent help in spreading the word about our fundraiser. I lost both my home and my job due to the ongoing genocide in Gaza and we are facing catastrophic living conditions. 💔

I kindly ask you to visit my campaign. Your support, whether through donating or sharing, will help us reach more people who can make a difference. Thank you for your continued support for the Palestinian cause. Your dedication brings us closer to freedom. 🙏🕊

Note: Verified by several people as 90-ghost and aces-and-angels. ☑

Showing this in hopes of spreading awareness. 🕊️

I’m feeling extra daring today should I show off my list of Neopronouns?

Ok I know this is a primarily Jirai centered blog so you’re probably expecting Girly Kei esq fashion but I wanna take the time to share something that recently happened to me so bear with me.

I recently bought some Hot Topic pants and some earrings that are very much like emo/mall goth, they came today and I tried them on and my mom was trying to commentate on my style (which I don’t mind for the record) and was trying to say emo, but I guess since she’s Spanish and it’s her first language she couldn’t figure out how to say it, so that’s how I got the gold that is her calling my style choice “emu”.

I burst out laughing I’m not even joking that was the happiest I’ve been all week.

Of course I corrected her but I’m never gonna let her live that down that shit was so funny to me.

Also here’s the pants in case anyone was curious:

"suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem!" dude you are so right. give me a million dollars and fix the entire medical system right now.

Holy crap this is actually my body type?!

I was incredibly insecure literally this entire day but seeing this made me feel a little better about myself. ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

My first post on Tumblr! This is my latest doll sculpt, I have yet to name her~

Ngl even if I didn’t have it as bad as others it’s still really fucked up thinking about some of the things I went through.

Like maybe I should stop invalidating everything about myself and realize I actually am traumatized….

Holy shit I posted something as a silly little joke about chronically online discourse and then my notifications blew up for the past 2 or so days.

Now I managed to get 100 likes in the span of less than a week.

I just wanna say thanks for the recent support on my blog! Definitely have no regrets making this!

XOXO

･:*+.\(( °ω° ))/.:+

I am not me. I am an amalgamation of my interests, mental illness, and my kins all in one.

(credits to someone on pin!)

Most Stereotypical: Have severe mental illness, partake in destructive habits and generally am a ticking time bomb, explosive outbursts and everything. I’m also very chronically online.

Least Stereotypical: I don’t do drugs and never really go out and do anything fun. I don’t party or go to clubs or anything like that. I also don’t really dress in girly kei type fashion(even though I’d love to).

|||||||||. so fellow jiraizz im curious to know. 🖤 what is the most stereotypical jirai thing about yourself vs the least stereotypical jirai thing about yourself? 👀 (plz plz pleaseeee interact n answer or ill cry forever)

ill start 🤍.

most stereotypical ◇ i have everything in reach of my bed because i really just stay on my bed 99% of the time and am definitely super chronically online.

least stereotypical ◆ tbh i dont want to be famous and worshipped by like simps and weebs online tbh. the attention can be nice but i hate normies too much. i only really want attention from people who i think could actually understand me. basically fellow jirais 🖤.

(btw i use stereotypical here without any negative connotations moreso like neutral/for fun positive.)

÷.

WARNING:

OD MENTIONS; SH & SUI TALK

I keep seeing these posts on my feed saying things like “Please stay alive. It doesn’t matter if it’s for spite or for your own enjoyment. Just live.” Or something like that. As much as I want a reason to live and enjoy life, even if it’s to spite others…. I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this.

I’ve made lists of ways I could kick the bucket and so far I can’t even settle on what I wanna do if I do give up. I would’ve OD’d long ago if I wasn’t told that I could kill half my brain and leave myself paralyzed if I were to survive.

Death doesn’t even sound satisfying anymore because in general, I’m worried about how much I’ll make my parents pay out of pocket for things like my funeral n shit, and I don’t know how I feel about being put in a box 6 feet under. Plus I just don’t wanna give my parents an even harder time by doing it. They’ve already been through enough, especially my mom.

I mean the first time I told anyone how I truly felt, it was my brother and the poor guy started crying, something I haven’t seen him do in years. YEARS.

I just want someone to understand my internal suffering for once and not disregard it as me being too negative and overly dramatic for once, because so far the only proof I have of how bad it gets is in my arms. Literally. But I don’t want anyone to see that shit. I want people to know I never was ok, and I probably never will be.

If I can’t be normal like I want to be, I wanna at least let people know that I’m not a deranged freak and that I have my reasons to act the way I do.

Fuck Gyaru vs Jirai discourse I want a cute Gyaru at my door in 10 seconds and if that doesn’t happen I’m gonna throw a fit.

Anyone got any J-idol recommendations?

Here are a few of the ones I like atm to get an idea of what I’m looking for:

-BABYMETAL

-Candye Syrup

-Momiro Clover Z

-i☆Ris

-femme fatale

TFW your past self was happier and more stable than your current self despite all the cringe and morally questionable behavior.

Tho then again when was I every a morally superior person. I’ve been in the grey zone probably my whole life.

when you get this, list 5 songs you like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your followers (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

👏 Ok so I got a shit ton of songs I like so this is gonna be hard lmao

Darling Dance: Kairikibear

Monster: Dev

Fiona Apple: I want you to love me

Pierce the Veil: Bulls in the Bronx

Yeule: Daizies

WARNING:

SH MENTIONS

Genuinely scared to go to class because I feel like shit and I don’t wanna do anything today, especially after that fuckup I had yesterday. I hate how my scars look so much I wish I could just erase them.

Luckily I can cover them up but it doesn’t stop the fact that I know they’re there.

I don’t wanna go pretending like everything is normal because nothing is but… ugh I don’t want to bring suspicion to myself.

Why must I have a life?

Currently watching Carrie and I’m at the prom scene. Lowkey even though I know shit goes down, it makes me wish I went to my high school’s prom.

It’s probably for the better that I didn’t go, though. I was a lonely bitch who cried at homecoming due to having no friends(At least ones near me).

Friendships are such a hassle honestly but I’m so desperate to feel normal that I’d do anything for a sense of human connection.

WARNING:

SH + STARVING

It wasn’t even worth the trouble. I feel nothing. All that it did was leave an ugly mark and leave a burning sensation.

Fuck I’m such a hideous thing. These scars make it even worse.

I wish I was thinner and flatter and prettier and had a nice smile and didn’t have this goddamn lazy eye everytime I take a photo.

I wish I didn’t have to resort to doing this to feel something good and relieving because nothing feels like it’s working anymore.

I don’t even know if I wanna eat rn. My parents are calling for dinner and I’m hungry but I’m so desperate to lose weight. I’ll do anything at this point.

I just wish I was born a different person.

I made a bunch of collages of all the different styles I like & wear/want to wear.

90/2000s Grunge?? Not sure…

Mcbling/Trashy Y2K

Kawaii(with some possible jojifuku influences)

2020s Tiktok Alt

Mall Goth

Scenekid

Dark Coquette/Morute/Dollcore

Jirai Kei/Girly Kei

Imagine my struggle trying to figure out what to wear lmao

Finna put these on my wishlist for Christmas.

Just doing this to project my thoughts(as if that wasn’t the point of this whole ass blog).

I recently started thinking that I may be some form of dollkin. I used to identify as dollhearted/kith but I didn’t resonate with the term so I dropped it.

I made a little side note about why I feel a stronger sense of connection to dolls and why I lowkey wish I was one. I decided to take a look into porcelain dolls specifically because I didn’t really feel anything for other types of dolls. One of the notes I took down was that I always felt connected to vintage imagery and objects and like I was meant to be in a time that was not the time I actually was born in. Porcelain dolls are hella vintage and usually associated with elegance and the upper class of the time it was produced(1800s). I identify heavily with things associated with purity and elegance and all that jazz. That shit’s like peak gender to me among other things.

I know that otherkin identities are meant to be personal and so the experiences will also be personalized, but maybe if I hear the experiences of someone who is dollkin that’ll give me an idea of where I align.

Soooo….. PLEASE HELP!!!

Closest I could get to myself.

I wish there were picrews that have an option for split dye hair.

Also I wish I had an ita bag :(

I made myself in this picrew I found last night

I wish I looked this cool irl but wtvr

Here's the link:

Picrew

こぴのめーかー՞߹ - ߹՞

ヲタクちゃんを作れるメーカーです。 このピクルーで作った絵が無断商用されているとの報告がありました。悲C。正しい使い方をしてください♪

Repost with yours if you do it. I wanna see how you guys make yourselves.

I took this not expecting much out of it and to get a lower score because I feel like whatever trauma I have is milder or even nonexistent in some areas.(Even though it literally changed my brain chemistry forever but we don’t talk about that..)

Imagine my surprise.

Tags: Anyone who sees this

WOOOOO LETS LOOK AT OUR CHILDHOODS

starting a chain if i can lol

IDRlabs

Trauma Profile Test

Trauma Profile Test, giving you your score on nine different scales.

JOIN ME MY FRIENDS!!!

@loser-otaku-girll @scyphozia @sad-girl-shit11 @liv-wants-to-live @dietc0kecherry @raven0317 @veryverydemureghost @tinkerbell24sfairy @strawberri-bomb-bomb @charcharbink333 @thecoolest69 @r1pputmygvtz @snakewithknees @starving4winter @unheardscreamsofa15yearold @cocaine-cass anyone of my moots or ANYONE TBH LMAO JOIN THE CHAOS

NO PRESSURE BTW

I feel like making a post about my alterhuman identities outside of fictionkins so here’s a list of the like 3 different identities I have plus some that I’ve recently been kinsidering recently.

♡Kin: Angel♡

♡Kin: Wolf♡

♡Kin: House Cat♡

♡Kinsidering: Doll♡

♡Kinsidering: Rabbit♡

Fuck I was listening to a song that triggered a phantom shift and I felt like I had wings for the first time on my back.

I knew that it was just a phantom shift and it made me wanna start crying lowkey.

I know I’m not a picture perfect person and I know I don’t take care of myself that well, but fuck I’d be so happy if I just had wings. I promise that I will take care of them and tend to them and preen them just please let me have some.

I hate this human body of mine so much and everything that it entails. I wish I were made out of light and purity instead of out of the ribs of a pile of dirt.

I wish I were made an angel.

Born to be a heavenly concept forced to be a deadbeat mortal.

Getting flashbacks to when I genuinely was convinced that I there was a chance I had some form of a Bipolar Disorder except I now cannot tell if it’s Bipolar or BPD that I exhibit the most symptoms of.

I was doing one of those tests for BPD symptoms out of boredom/curiosity and my attitudes aligned a little too much with some attitudes found in BPD.

Here’s the test I did btw<3

I’m very much aware it’s just a little test done for shits n giggles but Idk I remember taking like 10+ different tests for bipolar and being worried because they all came out with the same results.

I backed out of telling a professional about this because my mom convinced me by that point that I’m probably overthinking and that It’s probably a piss poor mix of having an emotional form of autism & severe depression.

Now that I’m coming back to this.. Idk I’m still not sure what to do.

The only thing I know is that something is wrong with me(what a shocker). It’s a matter of what the hell it is that’s wrong with me.

Anxious jirais, could you reblog this if it's alright to interact with you? Sending asks/messages/reblogs/etc. too!

heyaaa jirais!! 🖤🪽 i wanna make another tag game but before that, i would like to find more landmine mutuals (⁠つ⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)⁠つ

interact with this post if you wanna be moots and also if you wanna be spammed with likes/reblogs!! 🩷🩷🩷

Shit I forgot also kin this bitch.

♡Kinlist♡

Feel free to judge me based on who I kin/kith/kinsider. XD

These aren’t in any particular order except for the very top one.

Also disclaimer I am very aware that some of these characters are very morally ambiguous. Just because I kin/kith/kinsider a character doesn’t mean that I exhibit their morals.

Anywho, here they are!

♡Kin: Ame-Chan(Needy Streamer Overload)

♡Kin: Aubrey(Omori)

♡Kin: Stocking Anarchy(Panty & Stocking)

♡Kin: Kotoko Utsugi(Danganronpa)

♡Kin: Konata Izumi(Lucky Star)

♡Kith: Shadow the Hedgehog(Sonic the Hedgehog)

♡Kith: Riamu Yumemi(iDOLM@STER)

♡Kin: Lain Iwakura(Serial Experiments Lain)

♡Kinsidering: Fluttershy(My Little Pony)

♡Kinsidering: Satou Matsuzaka(Happy Sugar Life)