Pure Gold

I Got Worried

You should be worried about yourself

And yet you're worried about me

Even though you were in the ER the other day and still don't feel good

You worry about me staying up too late

And tell me, before you go to bed

To make sure that I don't stay up too late

When you're the one who is cold

You come to me with a pile of blankets

Even though it is you who is cold

And the same for when you're hungry

You come to me to ask if I'm hungry

Even if you know that I just ate

You worry about me choosing to walk alone

At night and in the dark

And you make me carry a flashlight because it makes you feel somewhat better

You turn the lights on

So that when I get home late from school

I am welcomed by light

And when I found out with morning confusion

That you were in the ER

That was when I got worried about you

Bear With Me

The weight is unbearable

No one you can tell

With your heart on your sleeve your shirt becomes unwearable

  Trapped and stuck

Can't decide if you're saved or caged by the bell

Luck but tough luck

  I want to let you in my shoes

For just a day

But if you took them you might catch on to all of my clues

  I knew you would have to break confidentiality

So?

Yes, that fear is my reality

  I can't tell you what's really up

I guess you think I'm fine so should I go?

A simple question with a hard answer is: supp?

  Too good of an actor I should leave

I just don't know I guess

My feelings, emotions, and problems are all in a creative, tight weave

  I hate to say

My head is a mess

It must stay this way

  There are plenty of things to be fixed

I don't know what to do

Pent up things and problems are all together scrambled and mixed

  And by the way don't make decisions for me

I would feel guilty if you tried on my stinky, sweaty shoe

Could you try and make me agree?

  You almost had me before

I want to talk about it but I can't seem to tell

You'd have to tell someone, I know that's a fact deep down in my core

  The internet friend can invigorate

She makes me think well

But you, I don't hate

No Heart Inside

Steady beat of the drum

Just the turn of the thumb

But I don't have the nerve

So I kick it to the curb

She doesn't seem to have a heart

Even if it hit her in between the eyes she wouldn't know art

Don't show

How in my world the cold wind blows

I tried to see it within her

But it's all a blur

You can tell that she doesn't root for the underdog

Even though she is older than I, she doesn't know how to see through the fog

I thought that you were one of the good guys

I now know the truth and the seemingly harmless lies

There's nothing you can do

I already wrote a poem about that too

I don't want her to see

The inside of me

The things about me that she doesn't get

Outside of her net

For not doing it, she thinks I'm crazy

She thinks that I'm just being lazy

She probably thinks that I'm dumber than dirt

But I'm just a bit broken and hurt

I got a second chance

Away that idea went as I danced

I've learned too late

But that's just my damn fate

So, I would prefer

If you please don't show my writing to her

Two Types of Fallen

Have I fallen out of love?

I hope not

Love is what I for so long have sought

Have we gotten out of the honey moon part of a relationship?

Maybe I should have stayed in doors with penny, used napkin and chip Or is it my depression and you trying to get over Alex?

I'm not giving up on our love yet

Will Wednesday solve our problems, when we have set?

What you don't know and might not understand is that it is normal for me to disappear

I will always come back, never fear Hopefully you'll be there

My heart beats like a drum

Sometimes I go numb

I wish that you could understand more

I don't complain to you because I don't want to be a bore When I become numb

Your love will be the first thing I'll feel

For now I must deal

I refuse to let you go

I love you, I want you to know No I'm not just saying that

Let's not forget that us and our double dates are a band

Let's not forget what it feels like to be poor but own all of earth's land

With my music

I won't totally lose it.  

Tick Tock

The time is ticking down

Ever wonder when you'll be buried in the kind ground?

Never knowing the complex answers,

To simple questions

How do you see, how do others see your reflection? Would you want to know your time?

What if it was after reading this very line?

How would you want to do?

I don't want to be forgotten

This world is rotten I desperately want to leave a good mark

Stardust going back to dark

Matter is neither created nor destroyed

Humans going back to blank

But this last time your aunt stank Earth magic

Turning people's lives into tragic

This world takes all back home

Tick tock

Are you friends or are you fighting the clock? Some can't wait

Others believe that they don't deserve the white gate

Poor nonbelievers

They take the tick tock truth how it is

That's why we miss

Observing

I sit here observing

Observing other people's lives

Observing my life Observing how the canoe

Hugs the dock

As if it knows it will be dark soon Observing the smell of the pines

And a pontoon boat going by

Observing a kid learning to scuba dive Observing the twilight sky reflected picassoed

On the fairly smooth

Glimmering water Observing a summer romance

Taking place on a tall rock

Observing my sunburnt skin peeling when I get the feeling... Observing how the mood of the water can change

So fast

So shifty The ducks already passed

Knowing this night is my last,

Probably for a while

Of this lake girl style

Paranoia

I'm not clean

I'm rusted

I'm so close to being busted

‘bout time I did

Did I really think I could make it,

Without falling into that pit?

Mount my head to the wall

Like I am a piece of art

And nothing more than a fart

Parading into my storm

In your way trying to make me happy

It’s leaving me feeling crappy

Ask me again

What it’s like to feel,

The spin of this lopsided wheel

Rationally shrugging

Give me away, Kenzie

Then I’ll call it more of a frenzy

A secret

If you're accepting, I don’t care if you know

I'm notorious for my one none existent greeting

Not to mention the fact

That I might not be what you think

With my virtual paper and ink

Out with failure being my success

In predicting my life, I didn’t really see this

With octopus camouflage, it’s hit or miss

Imagine me as you did before

To go and fix it back

Next time when I'm unable to, I’ll pick up my own heavy slack

Dead on the inside

I'm rotting, in my worn out shell

I think this just turned back into hell

Flit Flirt

You, little flit flirt

Back at my window

From bad to good, my feelings you convert

The wind blows, blows, blows

  Window, open, I still can’t hear you

Please stay

With you I think I’ll get through

My light of day

  Everything, you give

I’ll saver

Die for you, or live?

If you ever need a favor...

  You and I don’t have the clock,

Don’t rush

Love, my time torturously tick tocks

Me heart you better not crush

  I will succeed

Still you come and go

Love me?

You taught me how to go with the flow

Writer's Block :(

That moment when you can't get the pencil to write

When the paper bites

Writer's block

Is worse than getting stuck with your brother's smelly sock

Too many thoughts on my mind

I need to write so I'll know I'll be just fine

Into a ball I want to curl

I need to stop hiding from the world

The moment you are so numb that nothing helps, not even music

I know I have the power but I'm afraid to use it

It would just cause me trouble

Make my world as I know it crumble

You start to think

At writing you stink

You don't want to write it all

Can't risk another fall

You are plain 'ol stuck

Wishes on shooting stars for better luck

What you don't realize is that it's all there

You need to take the dare

Too many thoughts yet at the same time I have an empty head

So for now I'm off to bed

I’ll Just Be

Do you really want to know what gets me out of bed in the morning?

Fucking lies

I tell myself that I'm okay

But I'm secretly anticipating, and bracing for your goodbyes

How's life?

When my life is good, it's a fake kind of good

But I'm alright

I miss being in the woods where I once stood

Was I really ever there?

I think I was born guilty

Yet I know I'm always fine

My skin is filthy

I can't sleep,

Because of a haunting childhood

I'm seriously okay

I'd give it all up for poetry if I could

I don't want you

It's too late

I'll survive

I'm forced to carry a heavy slate

I secretly enjoy it

This way I'm free

I'm still alive

So for now, as I always am, I'll just be