Working The Night Shift

A New Start

I feel the warmth

Of the light at the end of the tunnel

I think this is the last

Of the darkness

Well at least for a while

So here's to a new start

Here's to a change

That will make my future self scream,

Plot twist!

Plot twist!

One so well written by the insanity of reality

That it catches god by surprise

A castle of freshly grown hope

A castle that I built out of the crap in my life

A new life of being alone

I must learn to stretch my wings once in a while

I must learn to stop

Beating myself up

I think

That i should be brave enough

To be me

Which is a simple task for some

I think that this is the last

Of the darkness for now

Frozen

Even though I gave you the secret key

To me

I can still very easily lock you out

Don't you doubt

You have the key but I can change the lock

Then all you would be able to do is walk

Away

Dismay

No one will be able to get in

I'll grin

Every time you fail to get in

I will win

I won't let you see

Me

I'll slam the door

And you'll be crying on the floor

If you declare war

I know how to make a bulletproof door

You won't be able to bribe me out

So you shout

Nothing is getting out or in

No mocking jay pin

Once I'm inside that locked door

I'll soar

I'll run as fast as I can

To where the land

Ends

But that depends

I must keep my storms

Inside more

Maybe that's why people leave

My storm puts them inside a blizzard, I believe

“Conceal don't feel”

That's what I've always done, it's real

The cold of the storm never bothered me anyway

I'll make all the fakes pay

"Let it go"

No!

The door is closed

I'll be completely enclosed

You can't save me

If I don't want to be

Wholeness

I feel comfortable right now

In this moment

I’m warm

I’m tired

I’m not freaking out

I feel like a little kid in this state of innocence

But this moment has just been ruined by my colon

In other words

I have to poop

Fucking mother nature

You must be laughing at me

But since tomorrow is my birthday

I suppose I should let you have a laugh

But please be careful

With your volcanoes

And your avalanches

But thank you for this moment

Full of my favorite things,

Music,

Warmth,

Fuzzy blanket,

Yarn,

Silly conversations with friends,

A head of ideas,

And lastly,

A feeling of completeness

Or wholeness

Tired

Tired

No thoughts Tired

Empty headed I need a rest

Since I'm a little different form the rest Fucked with fatigue

Exercised by life to exhaustion Not happy

Sad with the sluggishness

Drained by my dreams

Pooped out of perky, proper posture Weary with work

Worn out and weak without winning The bags under my eyes

Are filled with rocks I've got lead legs

And iron eyelids

I Can't

I can't

Stupid head

I should be thankful

While writing this others feel as if they were lying in their death bed I can't

What is wrong with me

I'm so messed up

I wish someone could get me but their middle name is absentee I can't

I should be lucky I have an umbrella for the rain

But I'm too befouled

Others are in pain I can't

It feels like I'm cheating

You can find rhyming words on the Internet

A "good enough mother" is what I'm needing I can't

I used to despise being called honey

I'm going to be thinking about both of you for eternity

You are mine if I pay you money I can't

I can't stand it

The same thing every time

I can't throw a fit I can't

I can't write

Who can help?

For once I'm ready to fight I can't

In my life I'm confused

This little pointless poem

My heart severely bruised I can't

My life I find perplexing

I am vinegar to myself

My feelings I keep deflecting

Mornings

Tomorrow morning is going to be a rude awakening

I think sleepily

Like clockwork it's backbreaking

Soon dawn disturbs the night

My alarm clock boggles my eardrums forcefully out of my ears

I take my nasty spit damned retainers out to catch a breakfast bite

I command open my heavy eyes

From my eyes the sleep falls

And I ask myself, Why?

I make myself pretty

Daring to look at my reflection

Time to wing it and be witty

As I listen for a rhyme or reason

I get punched in the stomach because of the cheeky cold

Why must it be this season?

I click my frozen stiff seat belt into place

I zone out to the tune of the car motor

I put on my happy face

I walk into school

Feeling alone and judged

Dreaming a future where my poetry will rule

Summer

Summer will not make me dumber

With no stress, I'm more depressed

Biased people with remainders of my past, in my brain it will never last

I can't breath; It's debilitating but I'm not suffocating

Give me a car and I'll take it far

Wishing things were different, kissing your black shoe

Waiting for that day, knowing you'll be hesitating

Waking up without a mission, then going fish'n

Feeling like you're not going to get there, life is only so fair

Dreamers with their silly fantasy dreams, fighting for them but not getting ice creams

They became depressed, while they were back in their nest

They stopped fighting, and tried rewriting

Their progress plateaued, and started the downhill flow

Then out of nowhere their flame relit, and found the way out of the pit

They wrote of sugar coated endings, to deal with the god sendings

Of summer never being a bummer

NCCC

Never

Certain

Correctness

Current

Now

Cognitive

Correlation

Censor

New

College

Care

Collection

Noticed

Color

Confuse

Create

Trip

Swat

Soot

Positive

Treacherous

Stretch

Strengthen

Progress

All’s Not Lost

All's not lost

Until I have lost my mind

Now I will write

Into the night As if I am some sort of time lord

I will write

Until I feel alright

A poet’s tailbone

Is where they keep their tales

My tailbone is tired

I shall steal my sleep

From tomorrow

I am a true night time poet

With dry, tangled hair

Who knows where I’ll be able to take myself

Some is lost

And I'll admit that I fucked up

But I can almost trust

That this shall continue

I shall continue on this journey

That is full of losing

And gaining

Lachrymorose

Seconds away from crying

This Hoover Dam of an eyelid is doing a good job

But it’s seconds away from breaking

All these tears dammed up inside could make Lake Lachrymose,

Leeches, Aunt Josephine and all

That was until she took the fall...

Tears on a cliff

Stacked up on a penny

About to spill over the thin edge

My hot tears

Have the potential

To set this place on fire

I know that

If I were to let them tumble down

They would burn my flesh with streams of lava

Droplets from the sun

Rain from Venus

This salt water is boiling within

Like tears from Rappaccini’s daughter

I am on my own

For I am poison

But I refuse to let them fall

Like pieces of hell

Raining from the ceiling