One Thing I Need To Start Living By Is “become The Thing That You Want” If I Want Friends Who Throw

Me, most days: Astronomy is so beautiful! Science is so wonderful! I love being a human and getting to pursue my innate curiosity about the nature of the world around me! I am so lucky!

Me, the night before an exam: fuck this fuck you fuck me fuck everything I’m 24 fucking years old and I have a test tomorrow what the fuck

How I prep for a new semester at uni:

I make a new time block sheet. I put all my classes in, then my commute time. From there I plan study hours, when I need to wake up to not feel rushed, work hours, etc. This plan helps to keep me from getting too overwhelmed and let me feel like I have everything under control.

I do my school shopping on prime day or after the back to school rush. You'll find those nice multi subject notebooks on sale for cheap and fun stationary and backpacks a lot cheaper like this!

I try to get a head start in classes. If I know we're reading a book or something I'll start a couple weeks before school starts. I try to take notes on as many chapters/subjects as I can and all that. This not only helps me get ahead, but it also helps me for when I inevitably fall behind.

I get all the routine maintenance done on my car. I drive over an hour to get to classes so this is very important. Oil change, tire rotation, balance, filters, etc. I save up my summer tips to get all this done.

I stock up on easy and fast foods. Instant noodles, granola bars, frozen meals, etc. Between working a lot and doing classes I don't have the energy to cook and do dishes so this saves me.

I give myself little reasons to get excited. The teacher or the campus or a friend. Whatever it may be. I HAVE to have a reason to drive that long to attend a class for an hour and come back and not get stressed.

I make a food budget. It's so easy to spend $150 a week on snacks and treats and coffees and such. So I have to set a budget and a plan for myself so I can actually pay my rent haha

I plan my walks to classes on campus. Where I'll park, how much time I have between classes, how to get there, etc.

If I have late classes, I make sure that I can call someone after every class as I walk to my car to make sure I'm safe.

Plan little treats and rewards. If I realize there's a week that's going to be super hard on me, I'll plan a little early morning walk or something special I don't do often after as a reward.

I try to be more positive to myself the closer the semester comes. I have to be proud of me and my work. I have to be confident in my abilities. So I have to have that mindset. Which is super hard as someone with severe anxiety and depression and who has been conditioned growing up to be quiet and a background character essentially. But I AM good. I AM smart. I can ace these classes. I deserve to be here and I deserve good things.

I triple check with my job to make sure they have my updated availability and will give me the flexibility I require due to my classes.

Overall, I just get my shit together once again and try and get myself excited. I have the opportunity to study at a university and that in itself is absolutely amazing and something I don't take for granted.

100 posts!

I am going to submit my bachelor thesis next week!! Only the defense and my internship left ☺️🍀

my mentor's trust in my abilities (unstoppable force) vs. my crippling self doubt (immovable object)

About People Pleasing:

Do you keep changing yourself and pushing yourself to satisfy everyone around you? Yes, you might have more friends if you change yourself to meet other's expectations, but you will have REAL friends if you stay true to yourself. It might be hard to accept, but a "friend" who always nags you and constantly asks favours and expects things from you, they are not a friend, they are a parasite. It's impossible to please everyone. If people get offended if you make boundaries, it reflects their selfishness instead of your own. Taking care of yourself and prioritising yourself is NEVER selfish, it shows you value yourself instead . Besides, not everyone is even worth pleasing in the first place. Manipulative people can immediately see when someone is a people pleaser or is too nice for their own good, and they will abuse these qualities to fit their own needs. The second you start prioritising yourself, toxic people will start disappearing from your life and you will start living the life you truly deserve. If you constantly feel the need to say "yes" to requests even though they are back-breaking, realise that you will have to pay for what you are putting yourself through. It is actually much easier to say "no" to something you can't handle or makes you uncomfortable instead of sacrificing your health, time and patience just because you felt the need to say "yes" constantly. It is time to take care of yourself and prioritise your mental and physical health, you deserve it <3

the touchpad of my laptop stopped working a whole year ago (i use a mouse so not a big deal but still annoying) and it. just. started to work again ? out of the blue ??? HOW ?