Tydr2gun - Tyler Smiler

applying for academic jobs is a horrifying combo of forcing yourself to overinflate your accomplishments to show why you are the top qualified absolute total best choice for the position when you may be already fighting the uphill battle that is imposter syndrome and of embarrassing masochistic self-debasing near-begging for a job that may not actually even hit the self sufficiency income minimum in the area where the job is located

quick study tips now that I've almost finished my masters: follow study with me videos on youtube. download cold turkey website blocker on your laptop and liberate website blocker on your phone. chew gum while studying. play an instrument, knit/crochet, or move while on study breaks instead of going on your phone. always keep your study space clean. wear noise cancelling headphones with no music playing (that's my cue to focus). eat plenty always and bring snacks. know when to stop. learn when you focus best, and only plan to be able to work during those times- schedule errands / meetings / hobbies / rest during times when you know you won't be focused. schedule at least one full day per week where you have no responsibilities. if you're too tired to work, take a nap instead of sitting there numb and exhausted with dry eyes. you can skip class sometimes (trust me). know when "good enough" is enough (and when it's not).

I heard so many people talk about romanticizing your life and at first it was annoying but then I was eating an apple and it was red and sweet and I was making an effort to conciously and slowly enjoy my apple because that's what my therapist told me to try to be more in the moment and it was the best apple I ever ate. I ate it slow and really payed attention to the sweetness and the sourness and I was sitting outside under some trees and there was a breeze and I thought: This is a perfect moment, and one day I will wish I had the opportunity to sit here and conciously eat this apple and be happy. Anyways. Try making a big deal out of small things.

Day 68 • 100 Days of Productivity

some pictures from yesterday and today. we started using microscopes in bio lab yesterday, and WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN i’ve only ever had to share but i got one all to myself hell yeah. anyway, today i had precalc and took notes on the inverse of trigonometric function. finally i had my foundations of education class and we talked about assessments and we’ll start talking about grading next week. i have my practicum tomorrow instead of friday because friday is a county-wide teacher work day so i won’t have any classes i can observe.

🎶 get down - SIX: the musical 🎶

You’ve grown into someone who would have protected you as a child. And that is the most powerful move you made.

shoutout to the people that like learning, who love learning, who want to learn and understand and create things on their own terms, but can’t go to college/university. not for lack of money or access (although those are obviously valid and understandable), but because their disabilities prevent them from doing it. who don’t have enough spoons to take a university course and complete the amount of mental and physical work it entails. who are too anxious to leave home and don’t have the resources to combat that anxiety. who get burned out quickly and easily and can’t handle the amount of effort university takes. it’s not your fault and does not determine your worth - you are allowed to do what makes you comfortable. for those that mourn the loss of their college experience, i understand and your feelings are valid. whatever the reason may be, i see you.