Latest Posts by vesperlf - Page 5

The way I see it, there are two kinds of shame:

Shame for doing something actually bad

Shame for doing something others/society has told you is bad

The first includes things that actually cause harm to someone, like a thoughtless comment or stepping on your dog's paw, etc. These are actions which require acknowledgement and amends.

The second is much broader, and includes everything from liking bad movies to being queer. These are things that may be unusual but are ultimately harmless. Someone or something in your life has just treated that oddity as a transgression, and one way or another you've internalized that perspective.

In my opinion it is crucially important for your well-being to be able to separate the two. If you don't, and you're treating the shame of having punched someone identically to liking a critically-panned movie, you're going to be a anxious wreck. You'll be constantly over-analyzing and policing yourself, feeling like a bad person who's just been really good at hiding it so far.

In the worst cases you might lash out at other people enjoying harmless things, redirecting your shame outward and becoming unable to distinguish truly harmful actions from those you’ve just been taught are bad.

Shame is a feeling that can really eat away at you if you let it. It's best to know when it's appropriate. If it is, you can act on it to resolve what's happened. If it's not, you can let that feeling go so it doesn't take any more from you.

"There's a radio,

Playing the same old songs,

If you don't pay attention,

Then you might think that nothing's wrong,

But if you look up high, into the empty sky,

Everything's the same in a way that don't seem right."

AI art images are not categorically plagiarism but like, in the cases that it does overfit the output to its data, it won't tell you.

IN A WORLD WHERE BEAUTY AND ATTRACTIVENESS HAVE BECOME SO COMMONPLACE AND MUNDANE THE EXCEPTIONAL UGLINESS HAS BECOME DIVINE

THIS 👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻

I literally had my pussy sewn shut I deserve k cup tits as compensation

walkable cities also means sittable cities send tweet

Alice Te Punga Somerville, Always Italicise: How to Write While Colonised - Kupu rere kē

So many people do not understand the relationship between climate change and cold weather.

Why are fascists so much better at imagining left-wing utopias than we are?

perhaps some will disagree, but i think the world got worse when we changed the colour of the night

hey sorry if i was offputting and strange and bizarre and weird as fuck last night i was just being myself

it fucking sucks how you can do all the therapy and self healing in the world and you still have to wake up living under a capitalist death cult that's killed community and crushes your soul

when i was a straight boy, i said so, at least to myself.

it was always "pretty girls" and "beautiful women" shown to me, described to me. men were "handsome", but that's not an aesthetic judgement. it's a recommendation for marriage that could be based on other traits.

a good-looking man's portrait was almost always painted to what would make him look good to straight men, not those who wanted to fuck.

it seemed like desire for men was alien, an unexplainable, unrelatable magical feeling that others were mind controlled by.

until, eventually, i found that desire.

yet, it still feels wrong to use the same descriptions. masculine men are still, generally, not pretty to me. but i. i want to kiss them so much. i want a better word. help.

being attracted to men is not shameful or regrettable and if you think this is a 'needlessly arguing for the norm in a community of outsiders' post then you're part of the problem

sobbing into my plate after overhearing a conversation between a mom and her tiny daughter in this shopping centre food court

Post-9/11 kids nowadays

— Ursula K. Le Guin, from “A Rant About ‘Technology’”

"Original" Sin is what i've titled this piece. by me. sorry if you don't have "collapse long posts" enabled. I have many thoughts.

Transcript - References

probably for the best Kotu as a Toa would've been an absolute menace

i want casual, everyday autism in shows. i want autistic characters who need sensory symmetry, who casually mimic anyone's touch on one side of their bodies on the other (or who have friends who do it for them). i want a friend with flashcards or signals for when their friend loses speech. i want people on video calls and body doubling when they do jobs. i want people having conversations without eye contact. i want excited stimming. i want to see someone getting really excited about the tiniest thing thats related to a safefood or a special interest. i want casual, everyday autism.

(edit: october 22, 11:04am - "nonverbal" -> "nonspeaking") (edit: october 24, 9:44pm - "nonspeaking" -> "loses speech")

so judging by how astonished people are by it every time we explain it to anybody, it seems like my wife and I might really be onto something here

during the pandemic, we invented something we call "astronaut time."

when it's astronaut time, it's like we are two astronauts wearing the big helmets, moving around the station on totally separate tasks. one of us is outside the space station and one of us is inside the space station. our radios do not work and we have no way of communicating with each other. we might see each other through the lil porthole windows, but we ignore each other because we both have different things to do.

"astronaut time" is how we get total privacy when we live in the same apartment. I will pretend you don't exist. You will pretend I don't exist. we have a nonverbal, zero-contact signal for when astronaut time is over (usually "I'll draw a smiley-face on the whiteboard in the kitchen when I'm done"). No talking, stay out of each other's line of sight, we are actively avoiding each other, unless you are currently experiencing a medical emergency goodbye.

it has been. a godsend. imagine living with your partner and being able to close every single tab in your brain related to social interaction. no fear of being interrupted by a "hey, quick question--" or "sorry to bother you, but do you know where the scissors are?" or "did you want something to eat, too?" Once or twice a month, we look at each other lovingly, hold hands, and say "baby I think I need some astronaut time tonight," and the other person goes "okay cool. bye! have a nice night!" and nobody's feelings are hurt and we both go and have a lovely evening completely by ourselves.

like idk it's a small thing but it's made our lives so much nicer, so if you and your partner/roommate are both people who sometimes need total privacy in order to recharge, maybe try it

we should globally ban the introduction of more powerful computer hardware for 10-20 years, not as an AI safety thing (though we could frame it as that), but to force programmers to optimize their shit better

Throw back to when I posted this on twitter with a comment about how completely stupid it is that if your boobs are a specific shape they're deemed inappropriate or inherently sexual and I had people telling me how much the message resonated with them and how misogyny sucks, followed by " I couldn't hit like and I'm dming you about it because i have minors following me"

Like, my friend I don't think we're on the same page actually.

it's only one sample because the sample taken is an Atomic Thing. you can't separate it into the samples it was made of and use each of those in different ways from the first sampler without failing to sample the first sampler.

(context for this one: I'm talking mostly about long medleys that sample or quote a couple dozen different songs, a genre where it's normal to indicate precisely how many songs have been sampled, and to assign a number to each sample used. see ryuupekosi for an example of this in my own work.)

Every time you mention bionicle I get flashbacks to the 2006 music video commercial that used that all American rejects song, in a good way

and even when your hope is gone

Having icons on the dashboard increases community. I don't take the time to read every username, but with a quick glance, I know who posted something. It means I can associate what they posted with them. Otherwise it's just Stuff. (It's also fun to see the icons. It's a unique personalization that makes people happy, and their prominence makes tumblr unique.) It doesn't take up space. Why take that away?

it's honestly alarming that they're making this shift to depersonalize and disintegrate community.

part of me feels like this is the progression they want:

can't tell who posts -> don't care who posts -> no connection to who is on your dash -> FYP/algorithm

and it's horrible that they seem to be taking such a beloved website and sending it in these directions. probably overreacting but it's sad and frustrating to watch it go

anyway. it's a good reminder to reblog the posts you love, because that's how the website can keep functioning like it does