One Summer Night

The Nights Drag On

The days drag on

They slip through my fingers

And dive under my legs

Running on that dang treadmill

Wake up and run

Repeat

A trillion tons of pressure

No thoughts

Halls that stretch on forever

Junior problems

Became senior ones

Goodness making me want to puke

Coldness

Eating away at my hollow bones

I feel like I’m the only hydrated piece of sand in the desert

The only dry fish in the sea

Someday I’ll get speared

Not spared

A book thrown down stairs

Forgetting sunrises

And not regretting it

Invisible issues are the atoms that make me up

Holding in and holding on and exploding

Walls are shaking with,

The darkness of given up days

(That’s all of them)

I don’t sleep because I can breathe at night

The nights drag on…

Situation Impossible

Just wishing and hoping ain't gonna do nothing

It’ll just make it worse

But I do it anyway because I'm cursed

  Desire equals suffering

So don’t wait and hope

Before you open your big mouth you might as well fill it with soap

  If I desire not to desire anything that’s a desire

I love you but I can't fully have you

What am I supposed to do?

  I can't win with fire

The things I wish I could tell

I want you to just know why I may not be so well

  When should I stop having just a spark of hope?

It's 1 in the morning

And I'm mourning

  I'm beginning to realize that enough is enough, no more of this nope!

I think about you a bunch

I probably never even cross your mind from time to time ever much

  You are only somewhat removed

Now it's 1:08

And you are what I now hate

  Out of my life my safe person always moves

I need someone like you

I can't really tell you but I wish and hope that you knew

  I feel like puking I don’t want to be seen

Needing you so much I'm sick

This sickness cannot be fixed with vicks

  1:13

By the minute I'm getting older

You are warm and I don’t think I can get much colder

  Wishing waiting and hoping

In this situation it is impossible

I'm so sick I need the hospital

  I don’t know what I'm thinking, I have to find a new way of coping

1:21

Thinking about you I should be done

Ends Are Beginnings

Ends are sometimes beginnings I need to get myself out of here Ends are the reflections of beginnings, it’s a simple mirror Is everything the same? Dead in the hall of lame Right now you and I are in between the beginning and the middle My bones are snapping, crackling and are brittle I need to know, what’s on the other side? For now I’ll let it slide Slide down my back, off my feet What is complete? Is it fullness of the heart? Or a lucky throw of the dart This reflection is not me, I’m lost But life is still well worth it’s cost So here I go and venture into the middle Me myself and I; piano, guitar and fiddle My one and only crew Some find me and my inanimate, music playing objects, infectious like the flu Just a lucky throw of the dart Is it fullness of the heart? My one and only crew Some find me and my inanimate music playing objects infectious like the flu Then on some days I find myself in between the middle and the end At writing I’m not that great, not to offend But life is still well worth it’s cost This reflection is not me, I’m lost I need a lucky throw of the dart Is it fullness of the heart? What is complete? Slide down my back, off my feet For now I’ll let it slide I need to know, what’s on the other side? Then I find myself in the end Things don’t always break sometimes they bend Dead in the hall of lame Is everything the same? Beginnings are the reflections of ends, it’s a simple mirror I need to get myself out of here Beginnings are sometimes ends

Yellow Lines

Staring into the yellow lines

Trying to go with the flow

I cannot bring myself to look up at the pines

Delirious depression in this mechanical car is a light load Sitting next to one of my discombobulating demons

Unable to run or fight it

Inside I am scream'n

This makes me want to fuck shit Staring at the two yellow lines, I think...

About last year when I climbed the walls

I should take leaps for the fun of the falls

Onto the sun warmed tar I desire to sink Thinking about two people who give me hope

That is for whatever is next to come

I feel the slope,

That leads into my own personal slum

Two lines, two women who are fierce

How far will I get with the uneven yellows?

Bright yellow does pierce

Stuck like a baby in the backseat type of mellow What to do when I turn the stone of 18?

My enemy has me trapped and constantly, greedily coming back

I have to hold the slack

What do I even know? One thing is for certain

I will keep moving forwards

Hopefully I'll stick with my words

I will go wherever the yellow snakes take me, in order to see the man behind the curtain

Voice

Voice in my ear

Telling me how you’re trying hard

You’re way too near

Get out of my ear

Voice on my face

Asking if I’m mad at you and why

You’re too much on my case

Get out of my place

Voice in my nose

Smelling the sickening sweetness

Waiting for the next tissue blow

You can’t know, you can’t know

Voice in the strands of my hair

Tickling my scalp, fooling it

Looking good when I’m in a helpless flare

Why do I care anymore? Why do I care?

Voice behind my eyes

Fucking causing me a headache

Are these voices lies?

When I’m an idiot, I’m buying; I buy

Voice in my own songs

I have to find a way to exterminate the exterminator!

I may be wrong,

But in me you do not belong

I’m Done!

I no longer hope youwould just text me

Have you known the whole time that all of this was to happen?

Fallen out of love is exactly what I have done

Out of the k-i-s-s-i-n-g tree I have run

Of course in the back of my head I knew

Love, I do not miss you

With this relationship, I'm done!

You knew, didn't you?

But I was naive enough to let myself fall

I don’t have a hard time when I see you in the hall

Still, I can’t believe that I got over you

Hope is how I know I can do

You'd better not stay with her or,

Text her and tell her that you love her

Me without you is like a bladder without piss

Like it or not, it doesn't get better than this

You were such a bad boy

Did you never realize that I wasn't just a toy?

With this poem

Alex won't be upset

Dreams

The boat left without you, you were too late

What would you do?

Just to chase your dream

Would you go to the extremes?

Would you jump into the water?

Would you do that even if you risked the chance of hypothermia, and just swim?

Does your dream fill you to the brim?

The bus left without you

What would you do?

Just to chase an easily broken dream

Would you go to the extremes?

Would you start running?

Would you do that with hurting side stitches?

Dreams can be b*tches

The train left without you

What would you do?

Just to chase your dream

Would you go to the extremes?

Would you try to follow the train tracks?

You’d never be able to keep up with the train

Dreams can take away your spoons, and drain

The plane left without you

What would you do?

Just to chase your already pulverized dream

Would you go to the extremes?

Would you drive?

You’d be late

Someone could steal your shattered fate

The team left without you

What would you do?

Just to chase you nearly impossible dream

Would you go to the extremes?

Would you push too hard and make yourself sick

Dreams can be d*cks

So what you missed your dream?, find a new one!

What do you think is fun?

Find one that you’re not too late for

Open your eyes there’s many doors

Protect you dream with your life, with the fire in your eyes, you’ll never get stuck

To life’s troubles you can just say f*ck!

Thank

Thank you for saving me another night

I now see a little bitty light

At the end of the tunnel

I'm just starting the loooong climb out of the funnel

That drains into the black, empty hole of eternal sadness

My parents just think I'm full of badness

Depression is like a black hole that is always going to be tapping on your shoulder

It makes sure that you know if you trip it will come back and hit like boulder

Maybe you were lying

If you were and I find out, you might find me slowly dying

And sliding back down again

I'm not writing this with a pen

You are my idol

My mom wants me to believe in the bible

But she can’t make me believe in something that I'm not so sure about

This is why I sometimes pout

Well I'm writing this to you so back to it

I love you, I have to admit           

Not in the creepy way

You’ve brought me back to bay

I think that is the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me

I'm not kidding, you now have my secret key

I hope you don’t lose it

Please don’t quit

Everyone who has told me they would be there for me, forever

Always ended in a never

I'm slightly scared to love you

I might end up, not just blue but dark blue

It almost seems every time I love someone

I always get shunned

Thanks

For putting some of your spare change in my vacant bank

I've been staring at what you wrote in complete disbelief

I'm as lonely as a shrived up leaf

However, I do have many sides just like you think 

Everyone who only sees the quiet side really needs to blink

Or get better glasses

I hope that their phase passes

This poem has finished quickly

I hope you don’t find it sh*tty

Forever

Though I am stressed more than a rubber band about to snap

I have you beside me which

Makes me think that I am the luckiest person to live

As I lay here tonight, staring at your back

I realize that you are better

Than any dream I could have ever dreamed

So beautiful I feel like I'm ruining you

You're like a good book

And I'm the gum stuck in between your pages

I will forever be very thankful that you like me

And puzzled

I just can’t comprehend why you would like this piece of abc gum

Maybe I can’t understand because I'm dum

Even though

You would argue with me all day about that

I'm sorry that I sometimes have a habit of staring at you

Its just, goddamn girl

How did you ever fall into me, out of everyone else

I find that I feel so fucking awesome

When my hand is in yours

Whatever mistakes I made that lead me to you I would make over and over again

If it meant that we’d be together

Wherever and

Forever

Buried Deep

Die

Survive

Die

Survive

It's already buried deep down there

I hide it behind a secret glare

"Maybe someday we'll talk"

Could you just take a walk?

Fuck off

Step off

I'm fine

What I'm thinking is all mine

Tell? Never

Whatever

I'm fine I tried to portray

Just go away

Why must you ask every time?

The answer is always going to be no, and that I'm fine

The more you bring it up the more I'm going to think

I don't want to think about it, tears no longer on the brink

It's all over and done

It's buried all the way, just leave it, if you get pushier trust me I'll run

Some relationships I don't want to mend

That hand don't lend

It's been too long

What's wrong?

I'll never tell

It's already buried deep in a well

You've said that you've been there

And everywhere

But you don't know

Just go

You wouldn't get it

But it's already buried in a pit

In your office, pure,

Adrenaline, you'll never know what I endure

In there my mask 

Will always last

I'll never tell, clenched teeth

It's already buried beneath

Just give it up

Because I'll never throw it up

Solid living death

Forever hold my breath