Motherhood - Blog Posts

I just went to go see The Wild Robot and, damn it fucked me up. It made my soul ache. I love me some found family.

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It's so so important to show badass female characters being moms. It's important to write intelligent cool female characters with deep inner lives also being good parents to their kids. It's actually essential to the future of our society, I think.

Because when people either a.) write mothers as only there to play supporting character to the kid, or b.) write badass women only choosing to be childless, it sends the message that being a mom is for lame loser women who don't have or deserve personalities and lives. And who would want to be that?

And it's not impossible. We do it all the time for men, male characters frequently get to be awesome and also be dads. There's even a whole trope about Badass Dads raising Badass Kids while they trek across the post-apocalypse or whatever. Why can't we give women the same treatment?

I just want to say, "I'm alive!" After a three-day temperature marathon with one of the twins. I'll admit, the 40s on the thermometer were a bit scary.

I seemed to get lost in the days and nights, alternating between medicines and other things to do.

As they say, what is "trouble" for one is "good" for the other, and the second twin enjoyed mum's separate attention on our rare walks. And the eldest son was given almost unlimited access to the internet in his spare time. Not ideal motherhood 🩷

Today I left the house alone for the first time, for an hour. Answered all my messages, bought a coffee at the coffee shop nearby.

Yes, I tried to read at nights, but Dostoyevsky has always been difficult for me.

I tried to write a chapter, and I'm getting better at it, but it was not without struggling.

Anyway, with humour, juggling medicines, I'm at this point now and waiting to see who gets sick next 🥲

If I am to become another berry picked too ripe so I can be sold to the masses I will use the cut I was given so you can rot away in the warm sun on the vines. I won't let you, my daughter, be eaten by the people even if you must eat me alive in exchange.

snippet of Dear Daughter I Never Wanted

I have decided that if I have a child, it’s name, regardless of gender, will be Perry. It’s perfectly gender neutral and meaningful to me as it is the name of one of my role models in life. They are protective, smart and overall caring to the people that love them.

to have a babygirl called Maria and a babyboy called José ✨

"hormonal"

when I have birthed a child,

when I have slaved away

my time and tears,

dimes and fears,

I hope they never say

that my worth is complete.

my life, obsolete.

I swear it, my

time and tears,

dimes and fears

are not an investment put to play.

I may grow stretch marks and pimples,

may sag in places unseen.

but if past a birth, that word is thrown out-

know that my call for your respect

has always been a thing.

Was Kenyan a Bad Mum?

I was thinking about Ethan’s childhood and how chaotic it was. He was spoiled, could do almost everything he wanted, he had everything he asked, he questioned every concept, he was a smart ass at school…

And you ask, “why”? Because Kenyan taught him to be like this, of course. Her idea of motherhood was different from the normal; she raised Ethan as a person, not just a kid. This is why she afforded his desires, wishes, and demands—because she wanted him to live at max capacity while he didn’t have responsibilities and huge consequences to care about.

Then you think, “wow, this is wrong. This kid will grow to be a spoiled adult, thinking life works exactly as he wants; then when things go bad, he will get mad and won’t know how to fix it.”

But if we look through Kenyan’s POV, we can understand why she’d think this is okay.

Let’s check her life stage:

As you can see, Auvies take their time to do things in life; maturity and independence comes around at 40 years old. At the age she got pregnant, she was supposed to start thinking about her future and what she wanted to try (in studies and work). She was a princess, so it was half decided, but she still would need to think about what kind of authority she’d be in the future.

But then she skipped (not by her choice) 100 years of her life, had to run away (she was a sacred figure, pregnancy out of marriage wouldn’t sound good…), started a life from scratch in a strange place, had no support, and all of it with a hyperactive kid. It’s clear she wouldn’t know how to raise a child in this situation.

And her maturity wasn’t that different of a child, so she was deeply empathetic of Ethan. If he asked for something, she’d give it to him because she thought “I also wanted to have things when I was a kid, so it's only fair I give it to him”, or even “he will just have me, so I should be a thousand times better than a normal mother, and to be a better mother, I should do this and that”.

There's also her culture.

Until 12 years old, Auvies have all the right to be curious and innocent, exploring the world and not dealing with consequences. The parents should allow it, only being careful about really dangerous actions; in this case, the parents should be present to instruct, but they still couldn’t forbid the kid from doing what they want.

Ethan was at this stage, so Kenyan just followed what she knew. But, for being on Earth and hearing advice all the time about how to raise him, she started allowing consequences on Ethan’s life, so he’d know what to do and what to avoid. (Example: he can climb the tree, but if he gets afraid of heights or gets stuck, Kenyan wouldn’t save him—she’d teach him how to get down. At the end, he would know it’s not a good idea to climb again because it’s scary, but if he ever need to climb down again, he wouldn’t be powerless)

So, we can conclude that Kenyan did a great job at raising Ethan! She could have done better? Probably. But she did what she could as a solo-teen-Auvie mother raising a child.

Unfortunately, we won’t know how she would raise a teen.

She didn’t stay long enough.

Monster Hunt - I (AU)

Let’s gooooooo Kenyan will be purified of all evil 😇 I’ll make three parts (I guess), each one fighting her according to their beliefs (she’s a vampire, witch or alien?)

Kenyan despises plants, but she hates with more passion the ones that stink. And she has great senses, so she knew the food was doomed since the start, she just sniffed because it’s a habit.

As I said, she might be able to eat it, but the consequences can be hard… anyway, she just gotta pose “human” for everyone outside home.

(I’m not forgetting to draw her pointy ears. She uses magic to disguise them when people are around)

Afternoon Snack (AU)

That’s how those theories started!

Ethan’s so done… but what can she do? Kenyan will never get used to processed meat and bland plants. It feels like eating plastic and poison.

Rest in peace, cute blue bird 🕊️🪻

Yeah, my style is gradually degrading its quality 😝 Comics take too much time for something useless (it’s not relevant for the main story) and I will not spend more than a day to do it. And I know if I decide to continue it another day, I’ll never finish it ❤️

(If you don’t know, Auvies are carnivores. They might be able to eat plants, but it tastes really bad.)

Motherhood AU

I’ll see if I’m with enough motivation to draw some “what if?” comics, with especial focus in “what if Kenyan didn’t left?” (but I’ll pretend she’d have Maivtre’s appearance cuz she’s prettier that way).

The gossip in neighborhood was about the birds’ disappearance! Suddenly, they weren’t appearing often, and they got worried some man was hunting them illegally.

Little they know that this adorable, innocent mum was just hungry. Earth’s food tastes awful, you know? Her tastebuds aren’t made for this.

Baby Health & Hygiene

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Baby Health & Hygiene

Who will you think of?

Who will you think of?As your whole life flashes, right before your eyes?” A quote I recently came across. Who will I think of? I will think of my mother

memoirs of a muse...

Who Will You Think Of?

SolOctober 11, 2024 Who will you think of?“Who will you think of? As your whole life flashes, right before your eyes?” A quote I recently ca

it is a parent's job to love their children invariably, to encourage them to follow their dreams, to teach them to respect themselves and others. it is not a parent's job to shame their children for not meeting the expectations for their life that their parent had drawn up for them. children are a blessing, they are also their own person, not just an extension of their parent.

some women who are blessed with the ability to carry children are not deserving of motherhood

many women who unfortunately lack this ability are extremely deserving of motherhood.

i am always told how i'd make a wonderful mother. my husband reminds me ever day, but i know i can never give him biological children. and i can't help but feel lesser for that.

on the bright side though, i guess we can adopt kids into a loving and stable home.

The propaganda is out of control. Take your life back! Raise your own kids.

Traditional relationships 🥰

My love for you is the most authentic and genuine thing I have ever known.

Beethoven is a Blanket

“It was like spraying water onto a blanket-clad child. Fretting that she might have a hard time, I stinted on water for myself and sprinkled it on her. But the cotton blanket absorbed the wat…

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My Terror & My Littlest Hero

I took my 8yo daughter, 4yo son, and 7yo niece out onto the trails to ride bikes\scooter through the woods. The kids love riding through the trees, seeing the deer, and stopping at the pond to try and catch a frog. 

About 1.5mls into the trails my niece, Mariah, hits a rock or something on the path and flips over the scooter. She lands on her left knee and has the biggest gash I've ever seen on such a little knee. Blood is streaming and all I can think is 'crap'. My daughter agrees to ride the scooter back to the car while Mariah sits on her bike so I can pull her along. We get about a quarter of a mile from the end of the trail and Alexia falls off the damn scooter and sprains her left ankle. Now I've got 2 girls that can't walk and we're in the damn woods. 

I double, triple, and quadruple check my daughter's ankle is def sprained and she's NOT walking anywhere. Mariah's gash is still steady flowing blood down her leg and she can't bend her knee at all. I've got 2 options:

I leave the scooter, take Mariah piggy back since she's the smallest, and pull Alexia along on the bike the rest of the way. HUGE chance I wont make it as my back is already hurting from pulling Mariah the mile+ so far. (I have 2 bad discs in my lower back, a few cracked vertebrae, and triple scoliosis)

I send my 4yo son to the car to get his dad and bring him back to help me with these girls. 

After a few minutes of pacing the trail weighing my options my son points out a 2 foot wide, worn down semi-path thru a break in the trees about 10 feet from where the girls are. The path opens onto the baseball fields. Four baseball fields that connect to make a massive square field, the playground on the other side of them, a small parking lot, a wall of shrub that separate the playground from the main parking lot & picnic area. I'll have a clear line of sight on him if he takes this route up till he goes around the shrub wall into the picnic area. At which point he will be within eyesight & ear shot of his dad. 

I weigh my options some more and try my hardest to figure out how to get these girls out myself without paralyzing myself along the way. Finally I look at my son and say "Saviant, I need you to do something I dont feel the least bit comfortable with asking you to do." After he says 'ok mommy' I continue: "I need you to walk across this field, to the left of the playground, carefully across the parking lot around the bushes, and into the picnic area. Your papi is napping on a picnic table by the bathrooms. I need you to find him and tell him to bring your stroller here because the girls are hurt, ok?" He tells me with steal courage and a brave face "Ok Mommy I will" Then drops his bike and starts walking. 

Alexia immediately starts to cry in protest, "Please mommy don't make him do this. He's only 4 he could get stolen. Mommy please he's too little!!" I turn to her and say "I know, I don't want to. You're both hurt and neither of you can walk. The trees block you from sight, and the distance stops me from hearing your screams. If I leave you to get help myself any pedophile could stumble across you and hurt you before I get back. There are a bunch of them registered in this area. I can't leave you here. He has to go" My heart aches at the idea I could be sacrificing 1 child to save 2, but I forbid myself to think such a thing again and begin to pray out loud as I watch my son walk across the field. "Please get him to his father and keep him safe." I repeat the prayer again & again with each step he takes to where it sounds more like a chant.

He eventually disappears around the shrub wall and I hold my breath in fear, while continuing my prayer mentally. What felt like an eternity passes when suddenly I hear my car alarm going off. I never felt happier hearing that sound!! They forgot to disarm my alarm before opening the trunk. He found his father, and he was safe!!! It took another 2 minutes before the two of them came into view around the shrub wall and were making their way to us. Saviant pushing the stroller gleefully. I nearly fell to my knees with relief at the sight of him as a tear fell from my eye. My baby was a brave, courageous, hero!!!

We got the girls back to the car and took them for the medical attention they needed. I've never  been more terrified in my life as I was watching my 3 foot tall, 52lb, 4 year old son walk out onto that field and away from my protective reach. Nor have I ever felt more PROUD as I was to see him coming back with help. 

Even the smallest people can have the biggest courage!!!

unknown // ladybird (2017) // white oleander by janet fitch // elektra by sophocles // everything everywhere all at once (2022) // sharp objects by gillian flynn // mamma told me by mother mother

never been so in love with her since we be came mothers to our lovely baby, can’t wait for the family to grow bigger

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A woman ,

Is her name

A mother to all,

From the ground she was born

She always stood tall ,

She braces the craziest storm

Because that’s her home,

She carries life to the full

So we can be reborn ,

She gives her body to another

With out a thought for the other ,

She knows power, love & hate

But yet you won’t see her shake ,

She has to be powerful

To raise her next generation ,

To Make sure there matter

In a world with a lot of chatter ,

She has the power to give and take

But she always chooses life

Over any other path

That may call her ,

Because that’s the gate

To her most beautiful

Creations in life,

Always In sight , but guarded

By love , because that’s what mothers do

On this crazy path called life .

@trueemotions91

A broken home

Is where he came from,

A mother who never

Showed him love,

Was her call,

A evil man

With a evil plan,

All because of the woman

Who claimed him

To this earth,

But not for love

For her own satisfaction

And now she leaves

A path of destruction ,

With no respect for a woman

Because of her own

Demented needs

Not his ,

Taught no feelings

Told not to cry

Always have to the big Man in life .

Are you glad what you did ?

To that boy who has now turned

To a man .

Left for another woman,

to try , to turn the tide.

HE deserves ,

To know,

the

power of ,

Love !

@trueemotions91

5 boys who are running around,

doing what these boys do.

Power rangers.

Fighting & cars

Bruises from bangs

cuts from falls.

Feet stomping from your moods.

Screaming

All in a hurry.

Baby dolls. Kissses. Cuddles. Helping. Tears.

All the things above are nothing bad.

As they are what are perparing you to be a perfect man.

Your learn to control them paddys and in return control anger.

The tears you cry now will show you that being a man also means you need emotion because you are just another

human .

The bruises and bangs just make you that little bit tougher.

The dolls you play with now will help you as you to one day become a father.

The kisses and cuddles will show you that's all your family will need one day to feel protected just like you do now.

But for now I'm sit back watching you grow with tears, laughter and sometimes a bit of frustration - but mummy knows all the bad and all the good is going make you the perfect man for your future .

@trueemotions91

Mama’s girl 🤍