BTS V/Taehyung X Gray Tones

here is a loving hugging bear for those who are struggling now.

❤     ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ      ❤

L.I.E: Love is Exacting #11

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 #10  

“Yoohoo?” Hanbin waved his hand in front of my face and I finally looked at him “I’ve been talking to you for five minutes now” he said as he put his hand back on his pocket. I looked away from him and blinked multiple times, trying to regain my consciousness. My tidily brushed hair was a mess by now. “Oh come on chill, you look like you just saw a ghost. Admit it it wasn’t that bad.” He added “I swear to God, I’m going to destroy you one day” I bluntly said to Hanbin and he stared at me for a moment before humming in realization “So this is your way of saying thanks, you’re welcome!” He sarcastically replied with a smile, then pushed my lower jaw up “now stop gagging or else you’ll get a fly stuck in your throat.” Hanbin added and put a hand over my shoulders, guiding me to wherever, and at some point I didn’t give a shit anymore. My soul embraced the skies already anyways. i was too numb he could throw me off a cliff and I wouldn’t feel a thing. was this really a part of whatever plan he had? Was I supposed to actually trust Kim Hanbin? Maybe and as crazy as his ideas sounded, he had something else in mind, so I just hoped for the best. soon I detached myself from Hanbin’s hold and walked away, looking nowhere but at the small stand selling snacks, where my beloved chocolate milk was. “One strawberry milk please” Hanbin told the seller from behind me “One chocolate milk please” i said “No just one strawberry milk” Hanbin said again and I made a face “Whats your problem” I grumbled “Rule number three: Never be afraid to try new things” was all I got from him as he paid for the beverage then gave it to me. “But I hate this” “Are you even listening to what I say” “I don’t want it” “Deal with it, goddamn.” Hanbin snapped and looked at me with an annoyed face. if there was some beverage I hated the most it’d be strawberry milk. and he sure knew it, or at least knew that I liked the chocolate flavored one. I’d slap him if he’s just playing around. Throwing Hanbin a disgusted look I quietly opened the packaging and started drinking, soon flinching at the ever so bothersome taste. “From now on you’re going to drink this only, or at least when you’re with me” he added as he walked somewhere else, me trailing behind him “You suck” I murmured and he seemed to hear me since he soon replied “you’ll thank me later” After a bit of walking Hanbin stopped and turned to me, “I think we should go on the Ferris wheel and wrap up this day, I’m sick of your whining, you’re a slow learner” he noted and I stared at the huge turning circle. Wasn’t this for kids? Or couples? Or anything Kim Hajin wasn’t? “What? Dont tell me you’re afraid of this too, cause that’d be really lame. come on let’s go” hanbin said after noticing I was staring at the ride before he grabbed my hand and walked towards it, intertwining our fingers soon after. “W-wait what the hell” I muttered as my heartbeat quickened. “What now” “People are watching” “Uhh, so what?” “You have a girlfriend for God’s sake” “Do they know that? No. Stop making life complicated for once, would you?” Hanbin snapped at me for the umpteenth time today and lead me by the shoulders We continued marching towards the ride, or more like Hanbin dragging me towards it, me biting my lips the whole way, I just hoped no one I knew was there. We got on one of the cabinets and soon the ride started, our cabinet gradually increasing in height as time passed. “the view is good from here” Hanbin commented “What’s good about it” “Are you serious” he gave me a look and I almost scowled “What kind of kid are you, it’s just the city you see everyday but from above” I reasoned and he looked outside again, as if confirming “But it really looks beautiful” he defended and I rolled my eyes, he can be such a five year old Hanbin suddenly cupped my cheeks and Forced me to look at the view, “look closely” he said “W-what are you doing! D-don’t touch me!” I freaked out as I felt my face getting red “Just look, look at how the tall treets look like small bushes, look at how the vehicles look like kids’ toys, look at the setting sun painting everything orange. And see that river? That’s probably where we hung out last time” Hanbin started pointing out every detail of the scenery and I gradually began to appreciate every part of it. I never knew it was this beautiful. I never knew the plain city i saw everyday would ever look so appealing to me. “.. it’s really beautiful” i found myself muttering in awe as my eyes got glued to the view, that before i felt a smack on my head “Of course you rascal! That’s what I’ve been trying to point out since earlier.” He sighed “it’s all about perspective, it depends on the glasses you’re wearing in order to see this world. If your glasses are blurry or broken, you can’t enjoy the beauty of your surroundings, therefore you can never appreciate it. This is what Rule number four is about: Fix your glasses.” “Yah all what you’re saying is good and all but it sounds weird coming from you” “Is this an insult” “Well you just don’t look that smart okay just saying ” “That IS an insult! look at this ungrateful rascal” “… Thanks” I chuckled and looked away - “So, what did you learn today” Hanbin started as we finally walked back home after the Ferris wheel ride. “Hmm, forget about one two three, never be afraid to try new things, and fix your glasses. On a side note from where did you get these cliche phrases though” I answered, recapitulating the main ideas of what that mad man was saying all day. “I just made them up. And from now you’re going to keep every rule I mention in mind” Hanbin answered cockily, sounding too amused probably by the fact that he was controlling me, what a kid. “Including drinking strawberry milk” he added and I groaned but he suddenly got a freaking strawberry milk package from his jacket’s pocket and handed it to me “From where the hell did you get this” “You don’t need to know” was all I got. I pouted and opened the package because did I even have another option. I could only follow what Hanbin says even when he’s just saying whatever comes up first in his head “Hey” Hanbin started again “Hmm” I replied, making a face after taking another sip from the unpleasant beverage in my hand “I’m not trying to sound creepy or I don’t know but that guy you always stay with- what was his name?” “Byungjoo?” “Yeah” “what is it about him” “You… are you guys dating” “No, what makes you think that” “Just saying, because you never really spend time with anyone else but him” “Because he’s my best friend, and my only friend” “What about me” “Are you really comparing” “Sure, why not” I stopped “You’re spending more time with me lately, doesn’t that mean I’m close to you now” Hanbin said and I rolled my eyes in disbelief “So just because you’re bothering me more often lately you think we’re close?” “Don’t close people bother each other” “We’re not close Hanbin. No such thing would ever happen” I muttered. Because really being close to Hanbin in a status other than dating him wasn’t and would never be on my list “Why are you this secretive” he bluntly asked “I’m not secretive. I’m just telling you to not get too interfered with me.” “Then stop doing that.” Hanbin stopped walking and eyed me “I want to get closer to you, more than him.” he added “Byungjoo was also at the amusement park. That’s why I was acting that way before we got on the Ferris wheel.” My jaw dropped as my brain replayed what happened back at the amusement park. If someone was watching from afar they would legit only see a quarrelling couple. And to think that Byungjoo was there, I felt more than horrible. “I think it makes no sense that we’re hanging out but you still saying that we aren’t close. You’re overflowing with secrets. And I hate it.” He snapped and left me dumbfounded. Well fuck.

L.I.E: Love is Exacting #3

#1 #2

“So this is where you vanish to lately” it was Hanbin. He had ascended the rooftop few minutes after I reached there. I had started spending more time here since me and Byungjoo came for the first time, I started liking this place so much, whether it was with or without Byungjoo’s company, I never failed to have lunch here everyday. But this wasn’t it, Hanbin was up here today, and he seemed quite interested in the fact of finally finding out where I’ve been going to. I let out a chuckle and gazed back at the typical gloomy cloudy sky of autumn. “What makes you care” I muttered, but he seemed to have a wide hearing range since he soon replied “Curiosity took the best of me” he simply stated, casually leaning on the a/c unit’s shade I always sat on, hands deep in his pockets. It was the same way Byungjoo sat but I especially found it attractive when Hanbin did it. Almost perfect. Yet so many questions lingered inside my head at that moment Why was he here? Why did he wonder where did I go? Why is he suddenly being comfortable around me? Why- Snap out of it Hajin, he already said it, curiosity took the best of him, don’t wander too far silly. “Shouldn’t you be having lunch now” I asked, not really waiting for a specific answer, I never did “Is this a dismiss” he chuckled “Take it however you want” I replied, never really making eye contact I turned to him, noticing he was staring at me for more than five seconds now “What?” I asked as he had an impressed look on. He let out a short laugh “Hey, are you really Kim Hajin?!” He bewilderedly questioned and I looked down at my uniform “Atleast that’s what my name tag says” I sarcastically answered “You’re actually acerbatic” he said, sounding fascinated by the discover. I almost slapped myself. Almost. But I mentally did though. This was Hanbin. My crush. And the guy I’ve always wanted to talk to. This wasn’t Byungjoo. My best friend. The guy that I can be opened to. What am I doing? Basically wasting my chance with him. Impressive. I didn’t know how it worked, maybe I felt weirdly way too comfortable with him that I could easily show him my real side. Maybe I was just so confused on how to attract him that I fucked it up being sarcastic. Maybe I thought being bitter would make him interested in me. Either ways Hanbin was probably judging me hard right now yet I didn’t care at all for unknown reasons. “Took you long enough to figure out” I murmured “Why do you put on that mask then” I didn’t answer. In fact, I didn’t have an answer. I didn’t know what to say. Hanbin asked such a question my brain stopped functioning. What was the use of this fake behavior. A part of me knew, but another didn’t. “It just… worked out like this. I became the Kim Hajin everyone knew, and burried the real me away” “Why” “You don’t ask why Hanbin. Everyone had issues in their lives that led them to certain decisions” He paused. “..Are you happy like this” I stayed silent. Kim Hanbin had the ability of making my mind a total mess in a span of a nanosecond. I never hesitated answering any question. Never. Yet look at me now, all pathetic for one. “As long as I’m following the standards, I am” The bell rang. And be honest I was more than glad to go and study Physics, mark this as a historical event please. I won’t deny that I’ve always wanted to talk with Hanbin at least for a short while, but now I’m desperate to escape. Hanbin asked precise questions. As if he knew everything. As if he could see through me. And I wasn’t sure if I was feeling comfortable or not, because as much as his questions made me feel fidgety, I was able to maintain my genuine attitude in front of him, I wasn’t building up an image in front oh him, I broke my walls in front of him. And I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. “Aren’t you assisting” I asked as I jumped off the brick shade, ready to leave “I don’t think so, I don’t feel like physics” Hanbin casually answered and I took that as a no, heading downstairs “Hey” I stopped, gazing at him from behind my shoulder “You’re interesting, try to talk more” I chuckled “I won’t promise a thing” I replied as I proceeded my way.

So it was a good thing in the end.

#4

L.I.E: Love is Exacting #2

#1

I knew he liked me, Byungjoo did. He wasn’t really that obvious, but I’ve known him enough to figure out. He was my neighbor for thirteen years now, and the first and only friend I made when I came to their neighborhood when I was four. We were quite close as kids I mean I used to do everything with him, play together, study together, I used to rely on him in everything, and had to buy him the same thing of anything I bought, he defended me the whole time and never left my side as we grew up together. I honestly felt grateful, no lie, but now we grew up, and things changed. We aren’t kids anymore. A simple touch isn’t meaningless anymore. Since we graduated middle school I started noticing, Byungjoo wasn’t the same anymore, he eyed me differently, behaved around me differently, even his tone of talking to me changed. That was enough for me to realize that it’s not the same anymore. Byungjoo didn’t see me as a best friend anymore, but as a girl. And I honestly felt guilty because I really didn’t mirror those feelings. I liked Hanbin. Though I knew I had no chance with him, my heart kept longing for him pathetically. I knew this was going to finish some day by me rejecting Byungjoo and never having Hanbin. And I’m sure Byungjoo would start distancing himself from me after and I really don’t want that. I only had Byungjoo. And loosing him wasn’t on my to do list. I actually lied, heh, I’m sorry. I haven’t always been alone after all. Byungjoo was always there, at least in the background. Checking on me between periods -as we studied in different classes-, having lunch with me, walking me home often and having the weirdest viber conversations. Byungjoo was actually the only person I was opened up with. I could freely talk without fearing him nor his reaction. I honestly felt comfortable around him because I could show my real self in front of him. What I liked about Byungjoo the most was how he was different from the others. Although he had known me for a long while, he wouldn’t just barge in when I’m sitting alone in silence. I almost think he reads my face. Whether I’m alone and liking it, or needing someone to talk to, or just a silent company. He knew me way too well. Although I was never the talkitive type. Yet I guess he just got used to my system, and unfortunately grew affectionate towards it. I sat almost cross legged -I was never good at that- over the a/c unit’s brick shade, slowly and gradually taking bites of my sandwich. Byungjoo had apparently thought it was nice to go to the rooftop and have lunch. This is both of us’ first time getting up here and if we get into trouble it’s totally his fault. Well it was pretty and comfortable here though, it was quiet and refreshing. Something Byungjoo knew I liked and that’s probably why he brought me here. And I was feeling glad he never really talked unless it was necessary. And that he got me up here because I honestly would never do that alone. I zoned out staring at the ceiling, well I pretended to, trying to look oblivious of Byungjoo intensly staring at me, I never really liked to ‘catch’ him while he’s at it, I didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable around me so I’ve always let him be. Biting the inner of my mouth I secretly wished he disliked me instead because I totally hated the idea of hurting him, I hated it so much that I refuse the occurrence of the process. I had finished eating by the time Byungjoo called me, offering a sweet. “Don’t even try to say no because I’m not taking that as an answer” he said as I opened my mouth to refuse. I chuckled. “Sassy. Thanks” I silently replied, placing the candy in my pocket. He knew well that I needed something sugary between sessions. he probably won’t be attending class this afternoon that’s why he’s handing it to me now, he never came on Wednesday afternoons. He needs to stop ditching secondary subjects. Me and Byungjoo stayed in silence for a good while. Just enjoying each other’s company. This time he was more of concentrating on the floor, suddenly finding it more attractive than me, well honestly it was, I’m funny I know. His straight eyebrows furrowed and his pink lips slightly perked up; the typical face Kim Byungjoo made when he was in deep thoughts. I guess this time it was my turn to stare at him. From how the soft winds gently played with his blond hair and to how he rested his back on the edge of where I was sitting, legs crossed and hands in his pockets. Byungjoo was good looking, I’m not even going to lie about it. He was so good looking I actually questioned why didn’t I fall for him instead. I mean I’m not that superficial but let’s be honest, he’s nice, senseful, funny and responsible, and being good looking was like the icing on the cake. The cake that had been in front of me since I was four yet I never thought of tasting it. “What?” Did I stare for too long? “nothing. Just being creepy” I quickly averted his gaze and heard him chuckle “Ugh it’s cold” I muttered after few moments but soon regretted it because I had Byungjoo’s attention focused on me as he quickly took off his blazer and placed it over my shoulders “Hey I was just saying” “Just wear it, I don’t wanted to be blamed if you get sick” he hinted at how mom always told him to look after me as if I was five. “Lets go down” he said as he pushed himself off the short wall and started walking to the door, not even bothering to look back as he knew I was following behind him. “Hey” he turned “Your jacket” I said as I approached him more. He was going out now so he technically needed it more than me who’s going to stay under a roof. “Keep it on” he answered as soon as I laid my hands over the blazer to take it off “But people will misunder–” I started as I pushed it off but was soon cut off by Byungjoo placing both of his hand firmly on my shoulders, putting the jacket back on “Let them be.” he replied, intensely looking straight at my eyes and I felt terrified for a second to be honest. “Take care” Byungjoo added before letting go of me, then inserted his hands back in his pockets, quickly descending the stairs as I stood there like an idiot. I bit my lip.

#3

L.I.E: Love is Exacting #10

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 #9 

“Huh?" 

He’s kidding me. Now he’s got to be kidding me. why would I be tutoring him? And how would that even be beneficial to me? And how would I get mom to accept meeting with a boy in the weekend? And when did he even give a shit about studies in the first place? 

"That’s right” Hanbin put his hands in his pockets.

“Are you crazy mom would never accept” I replied.

“come on mothers love me” he said and I rolled my eyes.

“give me that phone” he said as he snatched the device from my hands.

“Hey!” I tried retrieving my phone back from him as I watched him easily unlocking it And accessing the contacts.

“How do you even know my secret pattern” I asked, still struggling to get my device back.

“You can say I spied" he simply replied.

“Hello Auntie!” Hanbin suddenly said and I realized he had already dialed mom’s number. My jaw dropped as I froze. 

Oh crap. 

I’m doomed. 

“Don’t worry, I’m Hajin’s classmate" 

*oh goodness* 

"Auntie you know how your daughter is a good student and all, and I’m not that good with maths. So I wanted to ask if it was okay if she’d tutor me this weekend…. yeah in my house" 

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU CRAZY” I mouthed to Hanbin as I ran to take the phone away from him but he had always been way faster.

“don’t worry my mother will be there. She teaches here and Hajin knows her…. yeah, yeah I’m sure…. it’d be very nice if you accept Auntie please?” Hanbin kept talking and I almost slapped him for the tone he was using, I mean was he just doing aegyo to mom? I’m so getting questioned when I get home. 

“Thanks Auntie! Have a good day!” He finished and hung up.

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE FREAKING DOING– UGH” I scolded Hanbin as he finally gave me my phone back, the huge idiotic smile never leaving his face. He knew he just threw me in trouble. 

“Booking myself a tutoring session?” Hanbin casually answered, as if it was the most logical thing on earth. God can I slap him. 

“what the hell I’m dead meat tonight” I scoffed and eyed him disgustedly.

“Oh come on she said yes what else could go wrong" 

"My life could go wrong! she was probably being nice just because–” I was cut off by Hanbin literally pinching my lips shut and that’s how I turned into a seal making the weirdest sounds, whining how much it fucking hurt. What the heck goes on his mind when he does stuff like these? And the fact that he was my goddamned freaking crush made it worse since Kim Hanbin was the king of skinship. 

“Rule number one; don’t whine over plotwists.” He said and I looked at him as if he was crazy.

“when life throws lemons at you, you make a lemonade” he explained.

“More like you throw them back at Kim Hanbin” I grumbled and he turned to me.

“See? You can’t even accept a plotwist of lemons then what about real life problems!” Hanbin almost scolded me and I had nothing to say.

“You’re tutoring me and that’s part of the plan. This is your first step, deal with it” he added and left. I huffed and exited the rooftop soon after 

- 

“So who’s that guy who called?" 

"A classmate” I answered mom before taking a bite of my muffin.

“And you really know his mother?" 

"Yeah she taught me before”

“Be careful though” my mother quietly said then took a sip of her coffee 

“Hmm” I replied and went upstairs.

- 

I sighed one more time as I looked down at my outfit; a very plain black skirt matched with a red flannel, black stockings, shoes and purse. I was waiting for Hanbin to appear for about ten minutes now, what a penctual human being.

Clutching my hands tighter against my notebook, I looked around once more for a trace of Kim Hanbin. 

“Hey, let’s go" 

"Hi I’m fine thanks for asking” I scoffed at Hanbin as he came and tried dragging me with him two seconds after. I mean, I swear to God there are other ways to accompany someone other than shoving them everywhere.

“Yeah yeah drop them formalities. the bus is going" 

"Wait what bu—” without even being able to finish Hanbin grabbed my hand and ran towards the bus a few meters away from us. 

Wait. 

Okay what the hell. I was supposed to wait for him here because I didn’t know where he exactly lived. 

This wasn’t how it worked. This wasn’t how any of this worked. But there was something I was sure of and it was that Kim Hanbin needed to stop casually touching me all of a sudden because even though I could say I’m chill with him now my heart still skips a beat whenever he held my hand or touched my cheek. 

“Where the heck are you taking me” I whispered to Hanbin as soon as we were seated down And got my forehead flicked almost immediately.

“remember rule number one” was all I got from him afterwards. I wrinkled my nose at him as I rubbed my sour forehead, hoping Kim Hanbin wasn’t taking me to the infinity and beyond. 

- 

“…You’ve got to be kidding me” I said in disbelief as the two of us stood in front of the huge gates of…. well, Lotte World.

“Such a shame to waste a good day like this studying huh?” Hanbin said giving me the famous ‘ha? Waddaya say?’ Look and I stared at him dumbfounded.

“But what the hell what do I do with this notebook now, and how am I supposed to survive here with a skirt, and why didn’t you even tell me to dress casually–” I started ranting, since I looked more like an emo human being in that colorful place, then soon got cut off by an annoyed Hanbin.

“Rule number one you rascal,” he snapped, “First i swear to god you won’t die holding a notebook inside Lotte World. Second,” he smirked, looking down at my skirt and I gulped, “don’t worry I’m a gentleman I don’t look under skirts” Hanbin added and soon got hit on the arm, but finished talking nevertheless, “ouch, and third I wouldn’t mind even if you came in your pajamas to be honest." 

Long story short, Hanbin dragged me around every game around there, an excited him and an ever so done me. 

"Its about time we ride this” he said as soon as we stepped out of the spinning cups, me still stumbling to regain my balance. I looked up to where he was staring and my brain broke the emergency button. The roller coaster. 

“No no no no wait wait no no look we’re NOT riding this” I told Hanbin as I tried to stop him from walking towards the game, which he seemed not to be bothered by at all. Gosh why the heck was he that built up. 

“Why not” he simply replied.

“Because I’m so dying up there and you’re going to pay my funeral and tomb fees then get jailed after" 

"Stop with the nonsense” Hanbin finally uttered after having enough of my whining, reaching the boarding platform.

I stopped at my tracks, “No I’m not getting in I swear Kim Hanbi–” I suddenly shrieked as Mister super gentleman literally held me by my waist and threw me on the chair, taking a seat immediately after to stop me from escaping. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t going to pass out at that moment. Not only because I was living my last few minutes before the ride started, but also because Kim Hanbin was so fucking touchy he needed a slap on the face, or someone to tie him to a chair and punch him, punch him multiple times. And the latter sounded more pleasant. 

I would bet all of Steve Jobs’ money everyone was not only staring at us, but also judging, and thinking we were together. The last one didn’t sound too bad but it wasn’t true so it was the worst. If he did this to me I wonder what Mirae is facing.. 

“Oh fuck” I whispered as soon as the machine started advancing more and more towards the peak, tightly gripping on the railing as if my life depended on it; well, at some point, it did. 

“WAIT I NEED A COUNTDOWN” I almost yelled to Hanbin since we were reaching the summit and everyone was screaming by that time and I sure as heck wasn’t ready for whatever was coming next.

“RULE NUMBER TWO: FORGET ABOUT ONE TWO THREE” he yelled back like a mad man and threw his hands in the air, a huge smile on his face as the machine took a dramatic shoot to the bottom. 

I shut my eyes and screamed my lungs out. 

#11

L.I.E: Love is Exacting #9

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #6 #7 #8 

Exiting school me and Byungjoo walked side to side towards our houses, or at least that's what I thought until he put a hand over my shoulders And made us cross the road.

"Hey, let's go somewhere" he said as we marched across the street.

"Where" I asked, clueless. It's been some while since we went somewhere after school. Or even hung out on the weekends.

"you'll see, it will feel refreshing" he reassured.

Soon enough Byungjoo's palm blocked my vision and I got taken aback, "what are you doing, you're not kidnapping me right" I ranted and I heard him chuckle "what the hell is going on inside your head" he replied as he guided me forward to God knows where. But I didn't mind as long as it was only Byungjoo because even mom wouldn't question me being late if I was with him.

 I squinted my eyes as soon as Byungjoo removed his hand and soon adjusted my vision to the light. a small smile tickled my lips as I stared at the place I knew very well..

"The playground" I muttered.

"Does this bring back any memories?"

"A lot of them" I replied and walked forward, Byungjoo trailing closely behind me.

This playground was where me and Byungjoo met for the first time, around thirteen years ago. And since that day we became like peanut butter and jelly, if I may put it like this.we stuck to each other the whole time, had our own games and even our very own secret hideout.

"Want me to push you?" Byungjoo offered after noticing me staring at the swings and I smiled at him. If there was anything I liked about Byungjoo it was the way he read my mind.

"Do you remember? We first met exactly here, and you were afraid to play with the other kids" Byungjoo said as I sat down on the swing and he started pushing me lightly.

"I wasn't scared! I was just waiting for one of them to get off so I can play myself!" I defended.

"But many hopped on and off and you just stood there keeping a safe distance" Byungjoo went on and my pout deepened 

- 

'Should I approach them ? What if they refuse?' the little girl thought as she stood there watching the other kids swinging happily, immediately stepping forward whenever one of them got off yet soon retreating as another quickly gets on.

"Wanna play?" The girl turned to her left. There stood a child about her age and height, dark hair, big doe eyes and soft pink lips.

"E-Eung.." the girl almost whispered, nodding her head and soon hitched as the boy shouted, "Hey!! Let the girl play!!" 

"Okay come here" the child on the swing got off and called.

"You'll have to push me later for this" the little boy said and she just nodded with an excited smile.

"I'm Byungjoo. What's you name!" Byungjoo exclaimed while pushing the girl on the swing Stronger every time.

"H-Hajin, my name is Hajin" she replied, louder than before as the boy's tone told her he was no harm. 

- 

"Were you just watching the whole thing?!" 

"Sure why not" 

"Well you could've stepped up earlier!" 

"See? You were really in need of a super hero" 

"Tcheh.." I sighed, a smile never leaving my lips. 

I missed this Byungjoo. I missed the cheerful playful Byungjoo. It felt like it's been a while since we had a conversation like this. It felt good. It felt refreshing. 

We stayed in the playground for a longer time, playing, chatting, or just enjoying each other's presence. The playground was old and no kids played there anymore so we were pretty much alone. When it was almost sunset we walked back home. 

"Thanks" I said as I accepted the chocolate milk box Byungjoo had just bought. He knew I'd accept chocolate milk anywhere, anytime. 

"What about you" I asked as we resumed walking "

I gained some weight you see" he bluntly reasoned.

"Nonsense. You're still as thin as ever. I may weight more than you" 

"Says the one who skips breakfast and has Digestive cookies for lunch" he replied and I gave him a sly smile to which he just chuckled.

"Thanks" I said as me and Byungjoo reached my house.

"For what" he replied.

"For the refreshing time" I answered with a small smile which he just mirrored and began to walk his way, never forgetting to tell me to "take care" as usual. 

- 

"Hey"

it was Hanbin, "so I was being nice and decided to help you without you officially telling me to, you know, to spare you some of the awkwardness" he added as he casually marched closer to me.

"I was going to tell you though.." I murmured.

"When? Next century?" He amusedly replied.

"I really was, okay!" 

"I know I know, you're that desperate" he said with a sly smile and I glared at him.

"Forget it. What kind of idiot was I to even think of your 'help'" I hissed and jumped off the short wall, ready to leave the rooftop.

"Hey hey come here I'm kidding" Hanbin grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back. Afterall, the 'wait' wasn't even a request since he practically shoved me back. 

"I'm not done talking" he added in a more serious tone as he looked at me right in the eyes. 

Suddenly his two hands landed on my shoulders and I found myself facing him. I gulped. 

"I, Kim Hanbin, pledge to make this little hopeless little creature's days more bright and crazy" 

"... uhm first I'm not little second can we skip the crazy part" I commented and he ignored me.

"And that will be starting..... tomorrow." He seriously announced, apparently too deep in his very own scenario.

"Tomorrow is Saturday what are you on" I scowled.

"Uhuh exactly," he stood up and faced me with his back. I raised an eyebrow, 

"because you'll be," he turned back and we locked eyes.

"tutoring me" he finished.

"Huh?"

#10

I just realized I didn’t post this yet it’s been ages since I wrote it .___.

L.I.E: Love is Exacting#4

#1 #2 #3

I bluntly walked home, mind in deep thoughts thus occasionally bumping against Byungjoo who was walking next to me. I knew he found it weird, but didn't talk. I was glad. Because I didn't want to talk about it too. Let alone to Byungjoo. 

I've heard it this morning. It was about Hanbin. And I feel so stupid for not knowing this earlier. My whole life was a lie. Hanbin wasn't dating Nayoung. He wasn't. He fucking wasn't, for the love of God, why didn't I happen to hear this anytime before? He and Nayoung were just close friends. He was dating another girl though, another girl that the only thing I knew about her was that her name was Mirae; damn it. I didn't know her. Never saw her. Never heard of her. And I hated it. 

Thinking Hanbin was dating Nayoung made me almost estimate his ideal type, someone like Nayoung; wavy hair, plump lips, petite height and cheerful spirit. However I didn't now this Mirae. How did she look like? How was her personality? Was she short or tall? Fair or tanned? Did she have big puppy eyes or-- 

"Hey watch out" I was brought back to reality when Byungjoo grabbed me by the wrist, moving me aside as I almost hit the pole. I seriously was so deep in thoughts to know where was I walking. 

"Thanks" I muttered 

"Pay attention to your steps okay?" Byungjoo replied and silence fell again 

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He said again, not really demanding, but just friendly offering 

"no" I replied, Byungjoo was the last person I'd tell about this, well, ahem, after Hanbin, but you get what I mean. 

We parted ways as we reached my house, bid goodbyes and both went in.. 

"I'm home" I quietly muttered, enough for someone in the kitchen or the living room to hear. 

Pushing the door to my room open, I threw my backpack somewhere and took off my uniform's jacket, throwing it also over the bed as I laid down. 

I sighed. 

I was tired. Mentally and physically. And I honestly felt so frustrated about Mirae. I was ready to hack into Hanbin's phone and know how did she look like. I was this pathetic. I'd never even try to deny. 

I wanted to know how did she look like. I wanted to know what kind of girls did he like. And I was more than ready to change my style to that. Kill me. I was this insecure. I wanted to impress him so bad. I wanted to date him so bad. Yet look at this, I'm the girl whom he thought was quiet and shit like everyone did but now he thinks I'm bratty as fuck. Great. 

Slipping under my blankets, I felt a lump forming inside my throat, and I knew what was coming next. My eyes got watery. My nose and cheeks felt hot and in few seconds I felt a drop of water sliding down my temple. I cried. A lot. I've always did. For ridiculous reasons. For nonsensical reasons even me didn't know. I was this lame. I made a big deal out of everything and in the end my anger and frustration would turn into tears. 

After a while my eyes felt so heavy and my throat hurt from keeping my sobs silent, and I soon drifted to sleep. I couldn't care less if mom called me for dinner, I'd just tell her I was feeling queasy. And I was more than happy I didn't have homework because my head hurt way too much to deal with studies. 

 -

I woke the next morning looking dead panned. My eyes were way too puffy and eyeliner was everywhere; that’s what you get from sleeping with your make up on Kim Hajin. Washing up quickly I took a new clean uniform out of my closet, noting to myself to wash the other one that evening. Drying my hair had always been a pain in the ass because it gets so annoying and hard to tame however today I had no time to run a Straightener through it all so I just did my short bangs and secured the rest with a clip, today was going to be fucked up anyways. 

I hoped make up would hide my puffy eyes as I put more concealer than usual and drew my liner down longer to give a puppy eye effect which would make the left appearing puffiness look natural, well, I hoped. 

Messily finishing off I put my books in my backpack and hurried downstairs; Byungjoo was already bitching about how late it was. On our way I tried my best looking anywhere but at Byungjoo so he wouldn't notice, or else I have to go through a questionary. Mentally cursing, I remembered that I didn't bring my hoodie as it was cold and I was straight out of the shower. But well I already mentioned that this day was going to be fucked up. 

 - 

 It was reccess time and I went up to the roof again, Byungjoo's teacher didn't let them leave since they had a test so I was alone. 

"Hey" I quickly turned and it was Hanbin. and I could swear this was the fastest I ever reacted to a call. Man he startled me. This is the first time I come here in recess time how did he know I'd be here? Or was he even searching for me? 

"Hmm" I replied trying to sound as null as possible, that was my way of doing "seen" in real life. 

"Is anything wrong" he asked as he walked closer 

"you looked off" he added and I bitterly laughed, he actually noticed, but he was indeed funny. 

"Everything is always wrong" I answered and I felt him staring at me longer than normal and I was getting a bit nervous. 

 "What's wrong with your eyes?" he asked again and I felt his cold hand against the apple of my right cheek. His touch sent a shiver down my spine and my heart pounded faster. I looked up at him. Shit he just noticed. 

"Huh? What?" I tried sounding as clueless as ever 

"What do you mean by what, you look like a beaten squirrel" he said, looking surprisingly concerned and I chuckled 

"Hey, you really know nothing about make up. I just drew my tear line deeper today" I made up, sounding natural as I lied; I've always did. Yet I didn't expect him to notice, some of my classmates commented at it as antear line, why did he have to notice otherwise. 

"Is that so? Alright" he bought my bluff and I mentally pumped my fist. 

It was getting chillier and I saw myself getting sick tonight. And that was confirmed when I quietly sneezed and Hanbin looked as if he couldn't hold his laugh. 

"Bless you" he muttered between his chuckles and I wrinkled my nose. My sneeze was always quiet and high pitched. 

Soon enough Hanbin took of his hoodie and put it over my shoulders, pulling the big Hood over my head, it was reaching my nose so I was seeing nothing but I bet I looked ridiculous. 

"Hey I'm okay" I pushed the Hood up enough to lock eyes with him 

"Are you even talking back" he said and I stayed silent, taken aback of his reply. And it somehow reminded me of what happened with Byungjoo the other day, but Byungjoo had a reason. Or did Hanbin actually-- 

No. 

No he didn't, Hajin. Hanbin left the roof and I trailed far enough behind him. I was screwed. I was way too screwed. What if his girlfriend saw me with this hood on? What was wrong with him? Was he intentionally putting in problems? I don't even know the girl so I'd hide from her, it might be any girl I don't know. I just hoped no one would notice the missing logo because I had the exact same dark gray hood but with a little V on the left. 

Yet I felt my heart stopping for a moment as a girl walked into the classroom and her eyes landed on me for an unexpectedly long time. 

"Mirae!" I heard Hanbin call and the girl took a longer look at me before she marched to the back the room. 

I sighed in relief and that was when I realized I was actually holding my breath that whole time.

It was her, Mirae. I was sure now, she felt suspicious for a moment. Yet I didn't see her face. I was way too nervous that I kept my eyes glued to my desk, having nothing but a blurry vision of her skirt. 

Oh well, guess matching Hanbin's ideal type will have to wait more.

#5

pass the happy! when you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and send this to the last 10 people in your notifications!

Hello!!! Thank you for sending this, uhm let's see

With no actual order:

1. I know this is gonna sound cheesy but stray kids

2. Colors

3. Makeup

4. Food

5. Soft stuff

sounds v basic but that's where I find peace and joy

L.I.E: Love is Exacting #5

#1 #2 #3 #4

It was a nice day. It was one of those autumn days that are exceptionally less chilly. The sun would occasionally pay the sky a visit and it was kind of warm. Well, that’s what someone would think. But personally, I found it a bad day. A horrible day. Isn’t everyday horrible anyways? Life itself is horrible. But I didn’t mind as long as I was able to deal with its crap. I wouldn’t mind a tornado or a tsunami taking me away though just saying. I was walking to school again with ByungJoo as usual. He Stayed a bit with me in the classroom before the math teacher entered and he had to go. lesson started, and I was honestly in no mood for math. The lesson was about Spacial Geometry. It was ridiculous. And I was more than sick of my teacher being busy shushing everyone more than actually progressing in the lesson. “Okay now attention!!” She said as she stood up, after giving us five minutes to try on a task, which everyone was apparently ignoring and was chatting with their friends. “Everyone look here! Soojung, pay attention, Jaebum put that phone down- Hanbin what are you looking a—” the teacher stopped talking and my head shot up from writing as soon as I heard Hanbin’s name. I turned to him and he gave the teacher an innocent look before looking down. I looked at my teacher and a playful smile was on her face as she stared between me and Hanbin and in no time everyone was looking at me “Huh?” I quietly muttered, I was too immersed in solving the task that I didn’t know what was happening “Hajin, be careful huh” my teacher said with the same playful smile and I glanced at Hanbin and he was still looking down, a small smile that ressembled more of a -awkward- smirk on his face this time. Was he looking at me? I looked down at my notebook again expressionless, I just hoped I wasn’t blushing so I’d look like I showed no emotion to what just happened. Its not like this never happened before. I’ve noticed him looking at me more than twice. I think I’ve mentioned that. But from what I know about Hanbin he wasn’t the type to let off his guard, let alone the teacher noticing him. He sure interacted a lot with girls. It was always the cool side of him, but never the affectionate. Why was he staring at me like this? Is he that bothered by the fact that I am not all over him? Did he need to talk to me? Was he just spacing out? (Since the lesson is about space, get it?) And that’s how and for the morning period, my mind was filled of thoughts about Hanbin, Hanbin, and more Hanbin. Mondays have always got on my nerves since I had a full day, let alone my Philosophy teacher and her weird annoying rules she suddenly makes up basically to make us hate her even more. And so, by noon, I was on the verge of chopping the head of anyone who touched me. “Hajin, hold up I need to talk to you” my Literature teacher told me as the bell rang and everyone was hollering out of class *ugh what now* I thought as I went up to her desk “Whats wrong with you? Your test answers disappointed me” she started and I almost made a face “And you went out early. I thought you encountered the topic before and answered fast, but I didn’t like your answers at all” she added “Its just not of me to think twice when answering” I replied quietly, I was seriously in no mood that day, let alone that literature was never my thing “Were you sick?” “… kind of” I muttered “I assume this won’t happen next time” she said as she got up from her chair and went out “It won’t, ma'am” I whispered as I bowed at her and huffed as soon as she was out of my sight “Wow calm down there your Highness” Byungjoo said as he saw me furiously stuffing my belongings in my backpack. “Piss off Byungjoo” I hissed as I made my way to the rooftop. I could feel him following behind me as I walked up the stairs. Byungjoo just never knew how to leave me alone. “What happened?” He asked, keeping a safe distance between us as I sat on my usual spot “None of your business” I hissed hoping he’d get the message that I’m not welcoming any company. I wanted to be alone. I needed time for myself. All the pressure around me was frustrating and I wanted to run away from it. Everyone was expecting the best from me. I was a goddamned human too. Why wouldn’t they expect others to do excellent too? Why wouldn’t they expect others to be responsible and hard working too? Why were they all almost depending on me? Wasn’t I allowed to wrong? Many similar thoughts lingered around my head and by the time, tears were Streaming down my cheeks. 

It was all so frustrating. I wanted to run away from all these ideas. I wanted somewhere to escape to and find peace. Somewhere where I can feel safe. And where no one can hurt me. And I immediately found that somewhere as Byungjoo’s arms wrapped securely around me. He pulled me close quietly as his body radiated heat against my freezing one. Byungjoo just stayed there, silent, rubbing circles with his thumb against my right shoulder blade. 

I liked it in his arms. It felt warm and secure. And for a second, I remembered that it wasn’t only Hanbin that mattered in my life. It was Byungjoo. Byungjoo had always been there for me. Whether I was in a surprisingly good mood or my usual dull attitude. He never really complained when I was cold to him. He knew me too well to. He knew too well that in the end, I’ll end up crying in his arms, where he comforts me and tells me everything will be alright and that I’m stronger than any obstacle. 

I ducked my head deeper in his chest as I effortlessly leaned against him, sobbing quietly.

“I’m tired Byungjoo. I’m tired of all of this. I just can’t anymore. It’s too much” I muttered between my sobs, and if it was someone else they wouldn’t get any of what I said. I mean let’s be logical, what I said didn’t make any sense. It was damn blurry yet I knew that even if he didn’t show it, Byungjoo knew what I meant. He knew that the world scared me. He knew I was insecure. The only thing he was oblivious of was Hanbin. And at some point of that moment, Hanbin was the last thing I could think of, after he was the only thing filling my head this morning. Byungjoo whispered comforting words soothingly against my hair, leading my sobs to tone down. I finally circled my arms around his waist and was ready to stay like this forever. Because at that moment, I wasn’t feeling alone anymore. 

And nothing really mattered more than that.

#6

send an ask: get to know your author

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

4) favorite character you’ve written

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

8) favorite genre to write

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

12) your weaknesses as an author

13) your strengths as an author

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

15) why did you start writing?

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of