Latest Posts by ilovebirthdayspartis - Page 4

unfortunately I am my father's daughter so i won't take you seriously if you tell me what to do

need a little weed and makeout sesh with a hot butch like yesterday 😾

i hate feel lonely

she moan at the feeling of me kissing her fuck the uhaul dawg we merging souls

sundress season! what butch or stud is gonna lift up my sundress and fuck me senseless ?!

I’M JUST A TEENAGE DIRTBAG, BABY!

LOSER! abby anderson, ellie williams, dina, vi

contains: fluff and suggestive content. about 4-5 headcanons for each character.

ABBY ANDERSON

: ̗̀➛ loser!abby has horrific handwriting, some may even call it the ‘doctor’s handwriting. the majority of her notes look like she fell asleep while writing them, yet she manages to keep them so organized. she doesn’t care about her penmanship, until you’re squinting and asking, “what does this say?” then, she has to admit she doesn’t really know either. 

: ̗̀➛ loser!abby who talks to herself when she’s searching for something. pacing around the apartment repeating, “if i were my car keys… where would i be?” she’d even pause to rest her chin between her pointer and thumb, looking up to ceiling as if it’ll give her clues. she’ll also say “aha! gotcha!” when she finally finds it. i don’t make the rules. 

: ̗̀➛ loser!abby is not as subtle as she thinks she is. the two of you are headed to the movies for a date, and as much as she liked to ball out on snacks for you, these prices are no joke. so, she decides to stuff 3 family-sized bags of chips in her jacket, and about 4 bags of candy in her pockets. the ticket attendant scoffs at abby’s weirdly shaped body, and the obvious crinkle of her snacks. nonetheless, she lets you both in with an eye roll. abby’ll look over at you with a smirk claiming, “see, they never even knew.” 

: ̗̀➛ she’s horrible at small talk. at first, it’d start off strong, asking something like, “how’s it going?” then, she’ll forget to follow up, so she’ll start saying her thoughts out loud. “man, it’s hot outside today.” or “i wonder what the dogs are up to today.” 

: ̗̀➛ loser!abby can be overly competitive about the dumbest stuff. it could be rock-paper-scissors, who could fit the most marshmallows in their mouth, or even who can get the most high fives in a day.

ELLIE WILLIAMS

: ̗̀➛ loser!ellie who still uses her fingers to count. it was something she never grew out of, and in her defense, she was always correct when she used it. 

: ̗̀➛ loser!ellie who tries way too hard to be cool. she’ll wear those same scribbled on, beat up converse because she thinks it’ll give her a punk edge. never mind the soles flopping off with every step she takes, it doesn’t bother her one bit. she’ll also quote niche movies or lines in a game, and when you don’t get it, she’ll act like you’re the dumb one. 

: ̗̀➛ loser!ellie who gets way too emotional when it comes to games. she could be flat out cheating during uno, but if she doesn’t woman, her whole world turns upside down. 

: ̗̀➛ loser!ellie who talks big, but can’t own up to it. she’ll boasts about the way nothing bothers her, and how things are never that serious. but the moment someone looks at for a minute too long, her mind starts racing with ‘what ifs.’

: ̗̀➛ loser!ellie who will dedicate her entire day to doing trick shots. she’ll spend about 10 minutes trying to perfect a bottle flip, and when she does, she’s cheering so loud it causes a disturbance to everyone outside. 

DINA

: ̗̀➛ loser!dina who can’t go a day without quoting a vine. she’ll look you dead in the eye when saying one, and when nobody laughs, she’s still doubling over with laughter. oh, and don’t let her see a potato with a ceiling fan in the same room. you’ll completely forget what silence sounds like.

: ̗̀➛ loser!dina who sings everything instead of saying it. she refuses to say anything normally singing, “i’m hungryyy,” with a jingle, and it’ll intensify if you tell her to stop. especially, if ellie is around to badly harmonize with her. 

: ̗̀➛ loser!dina who starts fake arguments over things people deem as pointless, but mean the most to her. she’ll absolutely flip out if you bring up the pineapple on pizza debate, and you best believe she’s got statistics to back her up. 

: ̗̀➛ loser!dina who’ll start doing a really bad impression of you if you piss her off. she’s so quick to mimic your mannerisms, and anything you say she’ll immediately parrot it. 

VI

: ̗̀➛ loser!vi who fake boxes you whenever she see you, or she’ll throw light punches on your shoulder. it’s never hard enough to hurt you though, and it’s only for ‘practice.’

: ̗̀➛ loser!vi who refuses to pronounce words properly. even if you correct her, she’ll still say it the way she wants to. there’s been numerous occasions where she’ll say shark-coochery instead of charcuterie. 

: ̗̀➛ loser!vi who gets extremely flustered when complimented. she’ll try to brush it off with an eye roll, but she can’t hide the blush creeping upon her neck. 

: ̗̀➛ loser!vi who fights a vending machine instead of asking for help. the poor thing has to deal with vi’s hard punches instead of a little shaking. shouldn’t have ate her quarters. 

top weird girl canon events:

listening to Lana for the first time

7th grade winter break

being told you’re “an old soul” and “mature for your age”

hating your dad at one point

reading no longer human for the first time

obsessing over a girl you have no chance with

getting bullied by the “popular boys”

counting calories at 12

watching girl interrupted for the first time

feeling like a lost dog in friend groups

My monster high movie collection 🤍 still all the originals from the 2010’s!

suggestive content. fluff. weed usage (reader + abby). extremely corny jokes.

the earthy aroma of pine and skunk fills the air; a puff of marijuana leaving your lips. the feeling of tranquility washes over you, pulling you into a deep state of relaxation. you used weed as a getaway, something to calm you when times get too rough. 

abby, on the other hand, has always been against using any sort of drug. she claims it’ll slow her down, kill her motivation of striving to be better. sure, she’s had a drink before or a hit off of manny’s joint, but never anything more than that. for the most part, she was stone cold sober. 

yet, she can’t get rid of that gnawing curiosity in her head. when she sees the way it affects you—how calm and serene you become, she wonders if it’ll give her that same effect. so, abby decided today was the day. the day she’ll finally get high.

she walked into the shared bedroom with confidence: shoulders back, chest high. exhaling a large breath she says, “i want—i want to try it.” 

you look up from your phone with a raised brow. “try what, babe?” 

“what you’re smoking, uh, weed.” she mutters the last part, looking off to the side like an embarrassed dog. 

you tilt your head, a smug smile spreading across your face. abby scoffs at your expression, rolling her eyes, and opening her mouth to defend her claim; you stop her before she does. “alright, c’mere.” 

she takes a deep breath and walks over to the plush bed. her body plops down beside you, the weight denting the mattress. you prop your feet onto her lap, your head leaning against the headboard. 

you take one last hit from the roll before you pass it over to her. abby examines it closely, flipping it around like she’s trying to figure out exactly what’s inside. a laugh escapes you at her curiosity, and she grunts in return.

“so… do i just?” she brings it to her lips, wrapping them around it. you give her a nod of confirmation, and watch her inhale the substance. 

a couple seconds later, you pull the joint from her. not wanting to give her an intense high especially since she’s been sober for a while. abby coughs aggressively, so aggressive that it brings tears to her eyes. 

you give her two pats on the back until she calms down, handing her a cup of water. she accepts it immediately, nearly chugging down the whole glass. “you okay?” you question. it’s hard to hide the slight smile breaking through, but you bite down on your bottom lip to conceal it. 

abby nods with a shaky exhale, looking over at you with half-lidded eyes. “already? jeez, baby.” you mutter, more to yourself than her. your hand cups her jaw, caressing her cheekbone as you watch the white in her eyes fade to a baby pink.

it’s silent for a couple moments, you find yourself tuned into the cartoon show playing on the television. your eyes wander down to the joint sitting in abby’s forefingers—the same girl who’s been staring at a wall for the pass two minutes. 

“abs, abby.” you say calmly, carefully taking the roll from her fingers and sitting it on a tray. she turns her head to you in slow motion, and it takes everything in you to not burst out with laughter. 

“huh?” she says it short, quick. it carries the same tone of ‘the lights are on, but nobodies home.’

“you okay over there?” you stifle a laugh, smoothing your fingers over her knuckles.

“yeah, m’ alright.” her words come out squished together and jumbled, eyes intently watching your finger swipe against her hand. “man, you got some nice fingers.” 

she wasn’t supposed to say that out loud. matter of fact, she probably didn’t realize she did. your breath hitches at her words, a wave of confusion comes over you, unsure of how to accept that compliment. 

it’s quiet again, but this time it’s different. abby has a puzzled expression on her face, like she’s trying to solve the world’s most difficult math equation. before you could ask her what’s wrong to you, she’s already parting her lips to speak. 

“wait, so, if two vegans get into a fight… is it still considered beef?” her question hangs in the air, letting it sink into your intoxicated head. 

“no, abby, what the hell are you talking about?” 

“wait no, no, no. it’d be called a fuckin’, uh.. a fuckin’ tofu tussle!” she snaps her fingers, making a click noise with her mouth. you double over in laughter at abby’s stupidity, and your mind instantly comes up with a meaningless pun. 

“okay, but if a tomato is a fruit, does that make ketchup a smoothie?” you make a mmm noise to add a sarcastic layer of curiosity. for a second, it makes her wonder. she takes a while to actually decide is it a smoothie? eventually, she gives up. already spewing out another horrible joke. 

“wait i got one.” she pauses to clear her throat, crossing her legs and turning to face you. “why don’t eggs tell each other secrets?” 

“i dunno, why?” you try to maintain a serious expression, but you already feel the smile creeping on your face. 

“‘cause they’re gonna crack under pressure!” abby slaps her knee like a dad, poking at your shoulder to ensure the joke. you both fall over laughing, your heads bumping together in the process. 

the night blurred into a haze of laughter and bad jokes, the two of you tangled up on the bed, giggling at everything and nothing. you could tell the high hit her hard, but she looked so damn peaceful, like every ounce of tension had melted off her bones.

“hey,” she whispered, blinking slowly up at you, “what’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?”

you blinked, already bracing for it. “what?”

“one has snowballs.”

vi claims you're seducing her whenever you wear one of her shirts.

you really aren't; you just find her shirts comfy and familiar, her scent soothing as it sinks into your skin. wearing her shirts makes you feel like you're constantly being hugged by her, especially when she has to be gone days at a time.

the fact that vi finds you irresistible in them is simply a bonus. a bonus with plenty of rewards to reap when vi stares at you, blue eyes sharp and hot as they take you in.

you grow flustered under the attention but preen when vi's cheeks turn pink with barely hidden arousal.

"you're dangerous," vi murmurs weakly, albeit needy, as you greet her in the evening with one of her muscle tank tops on. the ones where the sleeves are cut so high that vi is able to see the soft curve of your bare breasts.

"i wouldn't say dangerous," you reply gleefully. "just optimistic."

you're giggling when vi kisses you, tender and reverent, as she grasps at your waist beneath her shirt.

“look at that fucking arch. fuck, you’re such a whore for this dick.”

and it’s just fucking ex!vi in front of a mirror

the cultural impact of monster high (2010)

stroking vi’s strap while y’all make out only for her to start whimpering into your mouth while her hips buck up into your hand like she can feel it

The concept of a butch loving me...

There is no substitute for a loving and supportive relationship.

Sex will not fill the need, online attention will not fill that need, telling yourself lies will not fill that need, self harm will not fill that need, being skinny will not feed that need, fake love and phony relationships or casual hook ups will not fill that need…. A loving, caring and supportive relationship has no substitute and chasing anything but the real deal will always lead to darkness.

I was born to have a life in the city, study and get a succesful career. I then will fall in love with the woman of my dream, we moved to the countryside and get married and have our little family together.

me all day at school

౨ৎ literally me <3

my tumblr is my private secret account

,,Is there anything so undoing as a daughter?" Yeah man, being the daughter

this is so me