Im So Tired Of Gender I Don't Understand I'm So Lost I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore

I was supposed to see my bestfriend and our friend tomorrow and I was so so happy about it BUT THEN I GET SICK, A FEVER???

so yeah I can't go because their exams are soon and we were gonna go shopping for their prom and all

I'm so sad now

it's 3am and I'm exhausted, i should so make pizza

i mean I could just drink another one but because I had this one on an empty stomach and the weird adrenaline I wasn't expecting made me feel sick so I should wait BUT AHHHHH

i just shotgun a monster energy and okay that's actually kinda fun (weird way to give dopamine) BUT it also is frustrating because I love drinking my monster and all but in this case it's over in like 30sec :(

IK IT'S THE GOAL BUT STILL

realizing how many times my bestfriend failed to invite me to stuff because 'I forgot to tell you' 'I didn't think you'd want to come' or just not even realizing that I'm sad they didn't invite me even if I tell them makes me think that maybe I'm the only one really caring at this point

dudeeee sam wilson is my fuckin captain america, man. what a legend. love him.

Can't stop thinking about The Contract

never realized how much internalized transphobia I've until I started thinking that I may be transmasc and not just genderfluid

that's so weird to be honest, the way being genderfluid is kind of, a 'safety' for me, I'm scared to accept that im transmac, and I'm scared of everything it'd change?

I have so much crap to do but all I want to do is draw sambucky and read ao3 fics

I hate life lmfao

wanna do a no phone summer but I should probably find stuff to do that isnt scrolling on my phone before that TT

Knowing that trans women of color started the movement in the united states and were literally immediately erased and excluded from what they started is the most deeply jading knowledge.

It is the original sin of the so-called queer community and it damns it from the cradle.