I Stay Up At Night

Burnout

Watts and volts

Nutts and bolts

Do not sit right

With a loss of appetite

Sitting on the pinnacle

And being cynical

Detatched

And mismatched

I feel meek

By drowning with just a slow leak

Just a drop can turn into a flood

Leaving me buried in mud

Everything is out of my league

When I'm drowning in fatigue

Too much asleep

To even weep

I had a shot

But then I forgot

Stillness

Is the only way to cure this illness

In other words, I am having trouble finding the door

Because I don’t want to work on Maggie’s farm anymore

Start New

There comes a time when you should knock the walls down

And start new, just in a reckless attempt to lose the frown

I can’t let go of the unhappy pictures on the wall

I had no choice but to slouch as everyone stood tall

Gravity loves me too much

I can’t let go of the addiction of your love

If only you didn’t have to be beyond and above

You gave me such a hope that will only lead me to failure

I need to just knock it down but I'm not ready

But living with rotting moldy wood could be deadly

There comes a time when you can’t keep replacing the beams

Of your self esteem

Tired

Tired

No thoughts Tired

Empty headed I need a rest

Since I'm a little different form the rest Fucked with fatigue

Exercised by life to exhaustion Not happy

Sad with the sluggishness

Drained by my dreams

Pooped out of perky, proper posture Weary with work

Worn out and weak without winning The bags under my eyes

Are filled with rocks I've got lead legs

And iron eyelids

Your Insults Are Shitty

Your insults are shitty

But I'm wittier. Why?

Because I belong to the comeback committee

You’ve changed your way

You were kidding before but now you mean what you say

And for reasons, I stay

I'm a willing fool

Just to be somewhat cool

In my uncool way of being uncruel

The volume on my thoughts is too loud

It's like a big obnoxious crowd

But I like it loud and I'll wear my thoughts like a stereo system, proud

You keep trying to put me in my spot

But you're not

Because I don’t have one, so you might want to change that thought

Rubbing yourself like an eraser in my face

Wont erase,

Me and my bigger, better chase

You make sure that I know that I'm annoying and gross

Maybe you need to up your none existent dose

Or have your fire put out with a fire hose

Because you aren’t doing it for my own good

You're not being a friend how a friend should

In this type of hood

I thought you knew that we have to stick together

Just like how I made your essay better

I try to give you all but you choose to wear her sweater

Looking Back

Looking back I realize that

With the great irony

They were exactly what they warned us about

I made it out

By hiding my emotion

So no one had any idea what I was actually thinking

The last time

Tasted unusual

Playing like a surreal movie in my head

Walking into the arms

Of the people

They told me rumors about and yet I'm now doing better than I ever have

I'm here

Knocking down the walls

That held in so many peoples stories that I had no idea about

The hard look

I got with my degree

Made me want to scream but, man, too bad we never did

Scared Of Falling

Thanks to my ex I'm scared of falling Are you going to break me next? I don’t want to lead you on For me to start playing the love game would be wrong I'm scared of falling, For you I don’t even know if you and your girl are done brawling I do like your three sizes too big hat On the futon, I like where you sat For you I believe I'm falling for I'm just getting over the flu Oh Kyle, Are you going to leave me in a heart-broken pile? I believe I'm falling for, Kyle Which one of us is going to be the first to walk out the door? I really wonder if you write songs Have you ever played ping-pong? Kyle, You seem more down to earth I don’t mind if you hang around for a while Just know that I might not be ready To get with the worse than a soft, stuffed, teddy You seem more down to earth The way you looked at me I think you could tell what I'm worth No pressure is what you said, backstage You were on the same page The way you looked at me, Made me smile Would you mind if it sometimes felt as if I was trying to flee? Should I let myself fall? Or will I end up crippled and have to crawl? You made me smile Yes, you, Kyle For me would you go the extra mile? If so, would you stick around for a while?

Her Seasons

I love her so much

I miss her so much

That I have started to see her in not just people

But the seasons

In winter is her snow white skin

And her dark hair like the silhouettes of bare trees

She can speak of darkness

But her brightness shows such innocence

The contrast of black and white

Makes her seem like an Oreo that I would enjoy eating

Fall is her softness like fuzzy blankets and pumpkin spice

And mellow colorful leaves soaring from branches

Spring is the liveliness in her bright eyes

It is hope for things to come

She smells like the best kind of flower

Without her I have no power

Summer is her hotness

And her little black summer dress

For now the sun is going down

I don’t want this to ever end

But I will have to live another day, week, month, year

Without Mother Nature’s seasons

Light Flickering

Light flickering

Reminds me of where I live

It’s annoying

But that’s just how it is

It makes it feel like more of a horror movie

And I know that there are monsters under the bed

I consider it camping

Yet it’s just life

It will carry on even if I can’t see the stars,

Swirling in time

Above my head,

A universe that I cannot touch

My mind

Is a strobe light

And I feel a bit dizzy

It’s a bit too much to take in, again

My heart is light with carbon dioxide

The candle a flickerin within

And I'm scared that

I can smell the smoke of the future

Missing you

Why is it that when we miss someone we hope they miss us too?

In my life, there was you

I guess that makes you special and worth,

Your mirth

I should get a start on moving on

But the other Saturday

My food looked like puree

My cereal went soggy because I was thinking about you so much

We fell out of a touch,

I don’t think we ever even had

I was smarter before,

Before I walked through the innocence taking, dominating doors

I guess that it might be for the best

I was stuck under a rest

I’ll make accidents but I’ll make them my forte

Softballs put on the ground

No more bats and gloves around

No more eye black

No championship game to give me a happy heart attack

The hunger for the ball in my hand

I miss my old life, like

When the ump. would tell you, you were out on the third strike

Stolen bases

On a regular basis

Red dirt on my clothes, in my lungs

I was so much smarter then

When I didn’t know what it was, time and time again

I still do not

It’s like the pain inside is caught

And I can only try to make the best of it

Baby Girl

How can I break this umbilical cord,

And continue living?

I can play this game of

Who can stay up the longest

And win

You’re hiccuping to show maturity

I know you're not drunk

What a man you are

Baby girl is in college

Baby girl has a drivers license You don't want baby girl thinking that the car is hers

You don't want baby girl to have control or freedom

Unless it's with your permission or knowledge

I can't pick out classes

Without you sticking your nose all around

And I'm tired of your boogers all over my life

This is the curse of being the baby of the family

The

Girl

I need to leave

But I cannot

If I did I would not survive on my own

I'm exhausted of getting stared at

As if I were an exhibit at a museum

I can either be hung up like artwork

And die on the inside, a long a drawn out death

Or let go of my breath and live differently

Something has to change

Because this isn't working

With your two sides

You use so much energy and anger

Towards trying to find out what baby girl is up to

And you're pissed that you cant just communicate with anyone,

In order for you to have an idea

Of what baby girl is doing

I cannot survive this way

Much longer

I do not enjoy feeling like a prisoner in the house I live in

Hiding in my room

Playing the game

Of who can stay up the latest

I'm drained of organizing my schedule

In accordance with someone else's

I want to cut

This umbilical cord

That keeps me imprisoned like a ball and chain