Latest Posts by frnkinstein666 - Page 3
Guys what’s the best kind of razor to use???
I have a shitty exacto knife blade and it dose NOT CUT DEEP ENOUGH
on a good day I reach the top of the bean layer and I need and crave it to go deeper
plz give suggestions 💜💜💜
Preferably things at easy access
so many sensation inside me
I’m going crazy
what is happening
I can feel my insides
I hope cutting will make it stop
I just want to draw
but I can’t move
It’s to much
Never thought there’d be a day in cussing at my phone because it’s showing me skinny fuckin girls eating all these desserts and talking about how good they are
FUCK YOU LET ME FAST IN PIECE WITHOUT A REMINDER OF WHAT I CANT HAVE
I don’t feel real
I’m going cray cray
I can’t even cry
I’m so hungry I’m going to peal my skin off oh my god you fat fat fuck
I feel so cutsie when my family all gets gross high cal desserts and I have a small bowl of cut up fruit and honey :3
Even better if I hadn’t eaten like all day
My aunt got me a xl long sleeve shirt cause I needed one and I think I’m just gonna kill myslef
IM A SIZE MEDIUM OR SMALL
“I didn’t know your size!”
BITCH DO I REALLY LOOK LIKE FAT OH MY GOD IM NEVER EATING AGAIN
Kms just had the first bad binge in a while
I had at least like 2500 calories?? And that’s so gross
I just ended a four day long fast and definitely just gained that all bag
EW EW EW!!!!!
Why can’t a man enjoy peanut butter without sobbing because it’s so high in calorie
Fasted Thursday-Sunday night :3
Gonna start counting calories on here plus my app :3 Hoping it’ll keep me more accountable with what I eat lol
The past like four days have been awesome
Monday: Liquid water fast
Tuesday: 213kcal
150 grams Oikos Greek yogurt-90kcal
2 1/4 tablespoon old fashioned oats-42kcal
Unsweetened coco powder-5kcal
1/2 tablespoons Clover Honey-45kcal
3 tablespoons frozen strawberries-9kcal
2 tablespoons frozen pineapple-12kcal
1 tablespoon almond milk-2kcal
1/2 teaspoon granulated sugar-8kcal
Wednesday:437kcal
Flour tortilla-144kcal
2/3 cup 4 cheese Mexican shredded-293kcal
1 tablespoon Clover honey-60kcal
1 serving black tea-0kcal
Thursday:90kcal liquids only
monster energy ultra white-10kcal
sparking spring water orange mango-5kcal
1 1/4 tablespoons Clover Honey-60
1 serving black tea-0kcal
Overall Wednesday was the WORST!!! I was forced to go to dinner with my parents and it was this weird white washed Mexican place and they put fucking French fries in almost every burrito??? So I just got a simple quesadilla :P
Like fuckin cried cause I did not want to eat :( I threw up like half of It but my body decided to hate me and not let me throw up :P
I wish fictional characters were real
I hate my mom so much sometimes
She just went on a rant to me about how I don’t eat enough and got mad and said I’m not dealing with this shit again
Then she went on about my sister and her past ED shit and how it affects her now
And I’m so fucking upset because she never noticed before and even now she dosent fucking know
Every conversation about mental illness also goes back to my sister it’s like I can’t even by myself and have my own shit!!!
Like fuck dude I have shit worse then my sister a good chunk of the time
That asshole fucking changed how I think about almost everything
I hate saying it but she fucking traumatized me at such a young age
It’s like no one cares
No one fucking cares about my own shit
I put so much efforts towards everyone and helping
But the second I talk it feels awkward or haft assed
Maybe it’s because I don’t like the help and said something once but it’s because IT FEELS SO FAKE
I just wanna feel loved and cared for
I’m tired of being compared to my shit of a sister
What’s the sharpest kind of blade that’s easy to get?? I’ve been using shitty blades from a old exacto knife and if barley dose any real damage :P
Ryan Ross is my favorite thinspo
Not so happy birthday
I just had the worst binge of my life
I’m literally sick the next day because of how badly that was
oh my god what the fuck
Life is great just lost five pounds :3
Screaming, Crying, Punching the air, throwing up looking at photos of me from last October when I was at my lowest weight
Accidentally ordered Oat milk instead of Almond milk for my latte 😭
making my normally 150kcal drink 250kcal
IM GONNA KILL MYSELF
Just saw a post that said “Pretty girls eat Pretty food” and that like changed my thoughts
Gonna live by that now
like eating my hummus and fruits and veggies is so cute unlike eating chocolate or McDonald’s
like that’s so fucking disgusting dude
Tried recovery and realized how much I missed my ED
it’s just so much more fun being dizzy and feeling empty rather then having the weight of food :P
Main downside is I gained like ten pounds sense I’ve been eating normally well more like eating more then I should
I wish there was a in between my EDs like I don’t want to binge when I try to eat normally
I’d rather just starve then eat a million things
Just went on a small weekend trip to see Silverstein like and shit was fucking awesome but I had to eat sense I was with my family
it was so fucking gross oh my god!!! By the end of the night it slightly broke out into a binder because I hadn’t eaten in so long and my friends who knows kept staring at me like I was dying on the spot
I purged like three times within four hours sense they kept wanting to get snacks D: I’m so excited for this week tho!! I’m doing theater tech all week until nine so perfect time for a week fast again!! And I have a really good motivation right now sense my Winter Formal is on Saturday andddd I’m talking to this boy I like and he likes me a lot so it’s great motivation to look better for bim
I do feel kinda bad because I am jealous of how skinny he is compared to me :(
I feel fucking disgusting of my god
I broke a fast for a stupid fucking 85cal cookie and even though I threw it up I feel horrible
my friend was trying to get me to eat sense I haven’t eaten sense Monday and even then it was 311cal for the whole day
I fucking hate eating oh my god I miss feeling dizzy, I miss this morning when I almost passed out because of how I felt
The amazing feeling of knowing you haven’t eaten in two days it’s fucking fantastic
Giggles and kicks feet awkwardly :3
Throwing up feels so much better then cutting myself
I feel so much cleaner after but I also love the ache SH leaves
Why can’t I just be happy and clean for once and my life
It feels like anytime I start feeling better it all goes downhill again and again
I feel horrible every fucking day not just because of my own mind but because I hate being around everyone
I hate having friends, I hate going to school and I can’t STAND the people around me in my classes
why do they always stare at me? What have I done to get this attention? I dont care if I look “different” keep your fucking eyes to yourself creeps!!!
I feel horrible about feeling this way towards my friends but it feels like I’m the odd man out always! I can’t communicate right, my words get jumbled and my thoughts don’t work!
I feel so alone all the time. I just want to meet ONE person who understands me and who I feel comfortable with and myself!
A thought I always have is “Why can’t I find the Nick to my Charlie?” Which is cringey but it would make me so fucking happy. I want what they have and how their life turns out no matter how hard it was for each other they stayed
I just wanna starve alone in my room at this point. It’s all I can think about, starving and finally being pretty
Maybe I’d find my person if I looked the part? And not even just that I want to feel pretty for myself for once. God do I hate food, it only causes pain
I just want to stop feeling bad. I wanna feel clean and pretty without the guilt of just looking at myself!